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Thread: He has blocked me after ending it...what do I do?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Harrietsuns
    He was with her 5 years then split then got back together for two years.
    He said he didnít want a girlfriend after that disaster.
    He was contradicting himself as he was texting /calling me every day.
    We text over 3000 messages in two months.
    I donít understand why he didnít want to be friends.
    He didnít block me on Facebook /Instagram.
    He just deleted me.
    He blocked me on WhatsApp (I wasnít even messaging him )
    I donít understand why he didnít want to just be friends.
    Do i send him his ticket ?
    You understand just fine, you just don't want to accept it. He told you outright that he didn't want a relationship. When someone tells you that then you don't go ahead and sleep with them unless you know how to compartmentalize sex, lust and infatuation and can keep yourself from becoming emotionally attached. *Adding: You certainly don't do bonding rituals with them like going on holiday and sleeping the night which leads YOU to think he's changed his mind. Get with men that have an end dating goal in mind and leave the ones that are honest enough to tell you their truth if that trust isn't lining up with your own dating end goal.

    He has deleted you because you bugged him about why "he was being like that" and that is when he told you he didn't want even friendship because going zero contact is how you allow someone to get over you and you allow yourself to stop allowing them to make you feel guilty. Its called having personal boundaries and a good sense of self-worth and self respect.

    You only saw one another for 8 months (I wonder just how many times you were actually in his company) so view this as a disappointment in yourself for not listening to him when he said he didn't want a relationship and then forgive yourself for not looking out for your own best interests when you went forward with him knowing that he didn't want what you ultimately want.

    Chalk it up as a dating lesson that will help you to be more dating savvy in the future. Educating ourselves is always a good thing. Stop worrying about why he deleted you and accept that he has because it's over. You'll heal much faster once you actually accept.

  2. #12
    At first I thought I could and would be happy being casual(whenever etc ) but then the more time I spent with him the more my feelings grew.
    Stupid things like the morning just lying in bed watching movies,cuddling etc (I know itís nothing much but to me I grew even more attached to him)
    He spoke about us becoming more serious then backed off and changed his mind again.

  3. #13
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    I think he's blocked you to make things easier for both of you. The relationship is over and he's chosen to eliminate the 'fake friendship' option which is sensible.

    I wouldnt take it personal or give it or him too much thought just give yourself time to heal and move onto a more suitable partner.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    It doesn't matter why he's blocking you. You never understood him and you never will. You thought he was developing feelings. Nope. That was your hopeful mind. You thought his many texts meant he wanted something serious with you. Clearly, that wasn't the reason for his texts. You don't need to understand someone who will never be in your life again.

    What you should be doing right now is learning from YOUR mistakes, and vowing never to repeat them for your own good. Take what a guy says at face value, and don't stick around hoping for change if he doesn't have the same dating goals as you. He said he didn't want serious. That means short term. He ended things in less than a year. If you had really listened to him and not put your spin on things, you could have predicted this would be the outcome.

    The fact that he blocked you is a good thing. It will allow faster closure for you, because you're obviously not willing to let go of this non-existent relationship. It's wise not to be friends, because a new partner won't be comfortable with you being buddies with a guy you slept with.

    If he bought the ticket, put it in his mailbox. If you bought it, it's up to you what you do with it. Sell it or give it to someone.

    You're single, so take this time to relish your freedom. Enjoy time with girlfriends. Find a new hobby. Pamper yourself. Never make a man the reason for your happiness. It's best to find happiness solo, and then want to share your happiness with a companion. And keep a full life besides having a bf. That way, if the relationship ends, you still have a full life and a support system to recover a lot quicker. Take care.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Harrietsuns
    At first I thought I could and would be happy being casual(whenever etc ) but then the more time I spent with him the more my feelings grew.
    Yes and that is a mistake that most people only learn after having suffered through the mistake of thinking they could handle it. You now know you can't so you will go forth all the more dating savvy and I'll assume you'll not be keeping men who just want a shag partner in your life.

    Stupid things like the morning just lying in bed watching movies,cuddling etc (I know itís nothing much but to me I grew even more attached to him)
    Of course it did, you're only human. But, you don't do bonding rituals with someone who has told you "no relationship."
    He spoke about us becoming more serious then backed off and changed his mind again.
    Instead of listening to the words he tells you that he knows you want to hear. Look at his actions (or lack of them). He should have told you lets be exclusive and committed instead of SPEAKING about becoming more serious and then remaining with you in the status quo.

    When they tell you they don't want a relationship then you tell them then we are just friends and friends don't **** one another. Get the confidence to do that and you won't find yourself with men who want it all with no obligation to be anything but your means to an orgasm.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately trying to turn a fwb situation into more often ends up with one person getting hurt. Date guys who want a relationship upfront and avoid excuses about exes.
    Originally Posted by Harrietsuns
    At first I thought I could and would be happy being casual(whenever etc ) but then the more time I spent with him the more my feelings grew.

  8. #17
    I thought I could change heís mind.
    There were times I thought he was wanting more.
    Telling me he was going to miss me etc
    It was just a total head mess.
    I wish I had played it different

  9. #18
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Harrietsuns
    I thought I could change heís mind.
    Well, now you know that sex doesn't garner you a relationship.
    There were times I thought he was wanting more.
    Ya, more of your emotional investment because its means better treatment for HIM. That still doesn't mean he wants to commit.
    Telling me he was going to miss me etc
    That doesn't mean he wants to commit... It just means he misses the attention from you (in any form that may take) or even your company. People can miss you without wanting you in their life past what they are currently getting.
    It was just a total head mess.
    Yes, to more people than not, casual sex with the non-committal is a head ****.
    I wish I had played it different
    Well, you've learned a lot from this so when you put yourself out there again, you'll not fall for the same type of guy... you'll quickly ditch them before you bond and move on quickly so you won't waste your time, your heart or the pleasure of your fine company on a dud.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    BTW: They say that people that continue on with someone that has clearly told them that they don't want a relationship are themselves, subconsciously not ready to be in a commitment so you may want to inner reflect on why you yourself aren't (actually) ready to be in anything serious yourself. Do that before you put yourself out there again so you clearly know what your dating goals are.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You need to block and delete this guy every way you can. He said he didnt want a relationship and you have to accept that. Time to move on.

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