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Thread: How long would you wait for " I love you"

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I think many people get their ideas from the fantasy world of Hollywood.
    Yes, that's true. It can be quite confusing when Hollywood makes life look like perfection.

  2. #12
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    Let's say after a year ,exclusive relationship - wouldn't concern you if you would not hear it / say it ?
    ....or if you would say it but the other party is not there yet ? Does not feel that the relationship is settled enough to feel it / say it ?
    Being not there yet....how does one know he will be there one day ?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Irka, are you in a new relationship?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    By the way:

    Woman says to man, "I love you". Translation: "Now you say it!"

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by irka000
    Let's say after a year ,exclusive relationship - wouldn't concern you if you would not hear it / say it ?
    ....or if you would say it but the other party is not there yet ? Does not feel that the relationship is settled enough to feel it / say it ?
    Being not there yet....how does one know he will be there one day ?
    Yes.

    If I was with someone for a year, knew I was in love, but was reluctant to tell them I would be concerned because that meant I was with someone I could not be honest with.

    And if I was with someone for a year, with a big chunk of that spent waiting to hear it—same concerns, same strand of dishonesty.

    We can never know when or if someone will love us, or say it. We can, however, know what we need to feel secure in the invariable uncertainty that always exists within romance.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    By the way:

    Woman says to man, "I love you". Translation: "Now you say it!"
    Your sunken living room cynicism is pretty mystifying, Gary.

  8. #17
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    There is no deadline. For many men, especially older than teen, saying "i love you" means they made a decision of commitment. Its not just a feeling. It took my guy a year because he didn't know when the "right time" was. But all along, he showed he loved me by his conduct, his actions, etc. I would RUN if a guy said it after a week of dating, after 2 months of dating unless its someone you have known for years, have had a loving friendship and started dating because you both realized something was there all along. no one can really know its actually love then - or it can be just a move to get you in the sack or someone who has fast burnout.

    Most of the time when women ask this question, its not about a man that they have no doubt about, its usually about a guy who is disrespectful, is not too committal when it comes to planning dates, etc. and so forth.

    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    By the way:

    Woman says to man, "I love you". Translation: "Now you say it!"
    YES.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    There is no deadline. For many men, especially older than teen, saying "i love you" means they made a decision of commitment. Its not just a feeling. It took my guy a year because he didn't know when the "right time" was. But all along, he showed he loved me by his conduct, his actions, etc. I would RUN if a guy said it after a week of dating, after 2 months of dating unless its someone you have known for years, have had a loving friendship and started dating because you both realized something was there all along. no one can really know its actually love then - or it can be just a move to get you in the sack or someone who has fast burnout.
    - Very well said.






    One thing is for sure.....I certainly do stir the pot!

    That's okay.....I do like to watch drama! As long as I'm not too involved in the drama. lol!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    That's the thing....you don't know. Dating is in real time, a what's in front of you situation. Wishing and hoping and 'seeing potential' are the ways people get hurt because the truth and the expectation do not align. This means people are on a different page not a different timeline.

    Sadly there is a plethora of myths out there about "commitmentphobe" "shy guys" men with verbal constipation etc. However these are myths that people toss around to try to prolong the wishing and hoping and "potential".
    Originally Posted by irka000
    Let's say after a year ,exclusive relationship. Being not there yet....how does one know he will be there one day ?

  11. #20
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    Is your view on this different when you in your 30 or 50 and let's say after a difficult divorce ?

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