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Thread: I need advice

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I agree with Dancing Fool. Yes, he knows you're into him. He wasn't that into you, and that's why he never asked you out. He liked the ego boost that he had a fan in you. He flirted with you when he had a girlfriend, so he's not a decent person. For that reason and guessing he's aiming for a fun fling while on business and then can use the excuse he doesn't do long distance after he's bed you, I wouldn't meet up with him.

    Don't be the toy that the cat bats around. You have better things to do with your time.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The only things that happen are what you want to happen. So if you are curious and wish to put your mind to rest have a casual drink/coffee. If you are fearful and anxious, then don't go. But give him a yes or no.

    It sounds like you are curious but afraid, so if you are stalling because of this uncertainty, simply don't put yourself through that. This isn't a date, it's people catching up, right? Or was something more implied by him? Was he flirting or suggesting hooking up?
    Originally Posted by kim42
    It didn't cross my mind he might want to hook up as we were never physical, but then again there was this weird tension between us.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    You probably will develop a crush on him again.

    It's kind of a waste of time because he lives in another country and most long distance things don't work.

    Unless you think you can just be friends with him. And date other guys.

    Sounds like you are the back-burner girl.

  4. #14
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    What did he do that you consider "flirting"?
    I don't remember everything he did and said, but he would talk to me a lot, make me drinks, tease me, ask me tons of questions, when I spoke a different language he would compliment on my accent etc. My friend noticed this and said he was flirting with me.
    I once bumped into him in a pub, and because I knew he was dating someone else, I just said a quick hello and didn't talk to him, and he then told my friend he didn't understand why I wouldn't talk to him.

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  6. #15
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    I agree with Dancing Fool. Yes, he knows you're into him. He wasn't that into you, and that's why he never asked you out. He liked the ego boost that he had a fan in you. He flirted with you when he had a girlfriend, so he's not a decent person. For that reason and guessing he's aiming for a fun fling while on business and then can use the excuse he doesn't do long distance after he's bed you, I wouldn't meet up with him.

    Don't be the toy that the cat bats around. You have better things to do with your time.
    This makes sense, thanks for being honest.

  7. #16
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    The only things that happen are what you want to happen. So if you are curious and wish to put your mind to rest have a casual drink/coffee. If you are fearful and anxious, then don't go. But give him a yes or no.

    It sounds like you are curious but afraid, so if you are stalling because of this uncertainty, simply don't put yourself through that. This isn't a date, it's people catching up, right? Or was something more implied by him? Was he flirting or suggesting hooking up?
    Yes, I am both curious and afraid. I don't think it's a date, I've never been on a date with this man, he just said he saw I was still in t =he same city, and it would be cool to see each other again.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok that sounds rather low-key no pressure, so go if you're curious and feel up to it.
    Originally Posted by kim42
    Yes, I am both curious and afraid. I don't think it's a date, I've never been on a date with this man, he just said he saw I was still in t =he same city, and it would be cool to see each other again.

  9. #18
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    You probably will develop a crush on him again.

    It's kind of a waste of time because he lives in another country and most long distance things don't work.

    Unless you think you can just be friends with him. And date other guys.

    Sounds like you are the back-burner girl.
    I don't think I could be friends with him, I don't know.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    I never told him I was interested, but I think he could tell I liked him, when he flirted with me, I flirted back. The thing is he continued flirting with me even when he was seeing this other girl, that's what I meant by leading on. I don't really expect much from seeing him again, it just surprised me when he reached out to me. If I decide to meet him, I'll stay sober for sure.
    Was he exclusive with her -I flirted up a storm when I was dating different people.
    I would say there's little harm in meeting him but just don't expect it to be more than a one and done and don't expect him to keep the plan so make it convenient for yourself.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I mean....you weren't really friends with him so there is really nothing to "catch up" about as far as that goes.

    You met, you flirted a lot and you very obviously had a crush on him. He knew, but he went after someone else. He is going to be in town for business and he wants to meet up? I think it'd be incredibly naive of you to go into that thinking that he is just looking for a friendly chat. That said, he isn't looking for anything serious either, just a quick lay and he thinks you might still be crushing on him that way, aka he might charm you into it. As Andrina already pointed out - he isn't exactly a quality guy, more of a player and a sleazy one at that. Sounds a lot like him going for another girl was you dodging a bullet.

    Personally, I wouldn't bother. But that's just me. All this anxiety, I think is your gut talking to you while you are trying to rationalize what's fairly obvious, it's just not the truth you want to deal with. If you are up for a one night stand, go for it. If not, forget him and be "busy" that night.

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