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Thread: How do you have a good date?? Please help!

  1. #1

    How do you have a good date?? Please help!

    Okay, so I know this sounds totally sad but I've never really gone on a date. I'm 19F and I just got asked out by a coworker 20M. I'm really into him and it took me by total surprise when he asked me out because I've never had any luck in relationships or love, the idea of someone liking me is more than foreign to me. I had a bit of a bad experience in middle school (yes I know, it sounds dumb but it really did screw with me) with telling someone I liked them so I just kinda never tried again after that. We're going to a park together to have some coffee but I am TOTALLY LOST. I have no idea what to do, what to say or how to flirt nor how to react to things like when he says I'm cute or interesting. I'm just at a total loss here and I know I probably sound like a total loser but what kind of things do you talk about? How do you flirt or keep things going?? I'm so scared I might scare him off with if I'm to awkward.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Well, how are you with him at work? I assume that you two talk and interact and thus he likes that and so he asked you for a date. Basically be exactly the same. Also, let him lead. Relax and be more in fun mindset rather than "omg I need to impress" mindset. If you try to impress or worry about not scaring him off, you are pretty much guaranteed to do exactly what you fear because it does make a person tense and awkward.

    The most important thing about relationships is that the person likes you as you are, which means you need to be genuine and let the chips fall where they may. Don't put on a fake show of what you are not - just be genuine. It's what attracts people the most.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Relax. Dress nice, be on time, be a good listener. Engage but don't talk anyone's ear off or come on too strong. Do not text too much or send nonsense. Smile, be friendly and remember that he's just a human. And...it's just coffee, not a wedding. Do not get clingy or pushy.

    Don't hookup on the first date. It's not your job to "flirt or keep things going". Do not drag out the date. Have fun and decide if he asks, if you want to see him again. Most of all stay professional at work.
    Originally Posted by InsomniacEye
    I'm 19F and I just got asked out by a coworker 20M. We're going to a park together to have some coffee but I am TOTALLY LOST. How do you flirt or keep things going?

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    Whatever you do, do not talk about him being the 1st date ever. No need to talk about insecure feelings. Just get to know him by asking what he like to do outside of work. If he has a lot of family (siblings, uncles, aunts, etc) in the area. Tell him about things you enjoy doing, or cool places you've visited, and vice versa. And just take a deep breath, and have fun! Wear your hair down - sundress if it's warm out, or cute top that is either form fitting or very mildly revealing, and jeans.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Please dont try to flirt with him on a first date! You need to get to know him first and find out about him. Ask him about himself and his interests in music, movies, tv shows, hobbies etc. Things you'd talk to anyone about. Just be yourself, you must be doing something right since he's asked you out for coffee. Relax and be kind, and smile.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Just smile and engage in normal conversation. Talk about what you enjoy, family, trips, funny life experiences.. make sure it's all positive and upbeat.
    Remember he asked you out, and that means he likes things about you so you don't have to try so hard to impress him...he already thinks you are attractive!

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    feed the ducks, sit on the swingset, eat some popcorn, talk about nothing for a couple of hours.

    That's it for a first date.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I agree with others. Dress nice, be clean, well groomed, put together. Act natural, be nice, kind, polite, well mannered, NEVER interrupt (big pet peeve of mine), remain gracious. Act like a lady. No foul language, don't be loud, don't be a 'Chatty Kathy' nor boisterous. Don't by hyper and self-conscious.

    Don't be a conversation hog by only talking about yourself. Always show interest about the other person or him in this case. Everyone loves a great listener. Ask nice questions about him. His hobbies? Sports? Interests? Hopes and dreams for his future? Goals?

    Get to know his personality and character by having a keen sense of reading people well. Observe.

    Don't flirt because it's cheap. Be better than that. Don't giggle incessantly because it's annoying and immature. Always remain poised.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Be yourself. The more you try to control yourself in advance, the more nervous you'll appear.

    Its cool... just a coffee...

    Let him take the lead... he invited you, so give him the opportunity to show you what's he about.

    Keep up your end of the conversation but its ok, to listen more than talk.

    The best dates are when you just have a good time with their company... no expectations.

  11. #10
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    Donít dress nice, dress appropriately lol
    Itís a coffee at a park!
    Dress as you would meeting a friend there.

    At this point he is interested to ask you to have a coffee at the park.
    Thatís all you need to know.

    Chat as you would to a new friend. You might not even like him outside of work so why overly worry about it?
    This should not be about whether he likes you or not, it should be about whether you like him or not? So ask him questions. Find out about him.

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