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Thread: Did I misread the signs or could she have changed her mind?

  1. #1

    Did I misread the signs or could she have changed her mind?

    Long story cut short, I met a woman over the summer vacation last year, brief interaction of 2-3 hours, we became friends, connected after we got back to our home countries, have been speaking on and off via texts and calls. Met again when I travelled to her country for a business trip, went out a couple of times, which I thought was as date-y as you could get – red roses, picked up the bills, romantic vibes. Even as we’re far apart, I’ve done a few things which I felt made it clear that I liked her, such as sending flowers and birthday present to her, scheduling video calls and checking in on her. We’ve been texting almost daily for months. She’s always been receptive of these advances and never “friendzoned” me. However, as we’re far away, the total number of hours we’ve actually seen each other in real life is unfortunately less than 20 hours. And that wasn’t going to change as we couldn’t move nearer to each other in the foreseeable future.

    Anyway, I’ve recently told her how I felt and she turned me down, saying she sees the relationship as purely friendship. I’ve been wondering if she really didn’t pick up the signs at all, or whether there’s a chance she was somewhat interested in me, but just lost it somewhere along the way. It doesn’t matter as the odds, with the distance, are low anyway, but I’m curious if I misread anything. Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    "as we’re far away, the total number of hours we’ve actually seen each other in real life is unfortunately less than 20 hours. And that wasn’t going to change as we couldn’t move nearer to each other in the foreseeable future."

    She probably didn't want to sign up for this. Not being able to spend time in person with your romantic partner is a negative.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by therock888
    Long story cut short, I met a woman over the summer vacation last year, brief interaction of 2-3 hours, we became friends, connected after we got back to our home countries, have been speaking on and off via texts and calls. Met again when I travelled to her country for a business trip, went out a couple of times, which I thought was as date-y as you could get – red roses, picked up the bills, romantic vibes. Even as we’re far apart, I’ve done a few things which I felt made it clear that I liked her, such as sending flowers and birthday present to her, scheduling video calls and checking in on her. We’ve been texting almost daily for months. She’s always been receptive of these advances and never “friendzoned” me. However, as we’re far away, the total number of hours we’ve actually seen each other in real life is unfortunately less than 20 hours. And that wasn’t going to change as we couldn’t move nearer to each other in the foreseeable future.

    Anyway, I’ve recently told her how I felt and she turned me down, saying she sees the relationship as purely friendship. I’ve been wondering if she really didn’t pick up the signs at all, or whether there’s a chance she was somewhat interested in me, but just lost it somewhere along the way. It doesn’t matter as the odds, with the distance, are low anyway, but I’m curious if I misread anything. Thoughts?
    Here is something for you to take forward. DO NOT send flowers or buy gifts for anyone you are not seriously dating. You didn't even know this chick and as you can see, she was quite open to taking your gifts even when they meant nothing to her. You don't 'reward' someone for allowing you to pay for a date. That is exactly what you did... you paid her to go out with you... not romantic at all now is it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She DID know, she ain't no dummy. It was you that didn't express firmly your romantic interest right at the beginning...you waited months. So my guess is she took advantage of that.

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  6. #5
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.


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