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Thread: Will I ever get to date someone or even get laid?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Nothing works unless you're good looking.
    - so quit complaining and start working out

  2. 01-28-2020, 09:59 AM


  3. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Try a dating/life coach. They will at least give you the basics in how to have good conversations, what to ask, how to dress, and freshen up on your mannerisms.

  4. #13
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    You look like The Weeknd? Are you the weeknd?

    Look, just stop whatever you are doing, because it's not working. Instead of focusing on getting a date, try speaking to women like you would when meeting a new friend. Join meetup.com, and make friends with people with common interests that aren't revolving around chasing girls. Make friends, who will know friends, and have them set you up over time. I know everyone will say, "you gotta be in it to win it," but people can smell agenda from a mile away. Just kick back, and really get to know someone who will know others. Stop focusing on the looks - people with humps, overbites, missing appendages can be rocking out with amazing partners any day of the week.

    What you need to feed is the soul. If you're not sure what you like/enjoy/interests (not ladies), then go find yourself.

  5. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I know you are here venting, but the words you chose it seems you don't particularly respect woman. Chicks, gold diggers and cheap hookers.

    It also doesn't seem like you are looking to cultivate a relationship with them. It's a `mean to an end' sort of sense I am getting. . in the hopes to get laid, as you put it. Women can sense this, you know.

    Do you know any women that are platonic friends? And if you do, maybe ask them for some honest feedback.

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  7. #15
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    the words you chose it seems you don't particularly respect woman. Chicks, gold diggers and cheap hookers.
    Yep.

    OP, look around at the rest of the world. People of all shapes, sizes and levels of attractiveness get together.

    You are clearly attracted to women that wan't nothing to do with you.

    You need to change the type of woman you are attracted to.

    You need to find a purpose in life beyond just trying to date and sleep with women.

    You need to work on letting go of your bitterness and take responsibility for the defects in your character that are off-putting to women.

    If you are radiating sunshine, people will want to bask in your warmth. Not so much if you are bitter and salty all the time.

  8. #16
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    Actually something I've realised is that the more you put yourself out there, the more you get rejected. It's happening to me as well. I was in a 2+ year relationship and was engaged but been single a number of months now. I've been doing online dating and going to singles events. I'm overweight so yes I do get rejected. I have a very beautiful, slim best friend and guys are always all over her every time we go out and I usually get ignored. I used to be really jealous about it and it's taken me a long time to accept it.

    The thing is yes life is easier for hot people, but you need to keep in mind that most people are actually average. If you imagine a bell curve graph, most people are in the middle part. Then you get a small number of people on the "extreme" ends of the graph, who are either really attractive or ugly. Honestly from your picture you look absolutely fine. If anyone asked me just by looking at your photo, would I have sex with that guy, technically I would say "yes".

    I actually think that the approaches you are using to meet women are the least likely to work. In my experience women are more likely to have sex with a guy they actually know, rather than a total stranger they just met in a bar or on Tinder. I actually stopped using Tinder because I was looking for a relationship and there were too many guys trying to get sex. I also didn't like how in bars I'd be talking to guys and instead of just asking for my number, they'd ask me to go back to their place. Women are more interested in emotional connection (mostly) even than looks. So yes in a bar maybe you're not having success, but that's because they don't actually know you.

    Again the best advice people here have given you is interacting with women in everyday life. You need to treat women well and be nice. Don't straight away start hitting on them or ask them to your place or whatever. Nobody likes desperation or coming on too strong either. I met all my ex's through being friends in real life first. I was good friends with one of my ex's for three months before we dated. There needs to be connection. Negativity and feeling pissed off will never do you any favours, so you need to work through that.

  9. #17
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    The more desperate and/or lonely you get, the more difficult it will become to find somebody. Desperation is not an attractive or endearing quality to anyone. Focus on what you love to do, what you have passion for and perhaps some interesting people will come your way while you're on that path. But the point is not to worry about that, but instead focus on what it is in life that gives you fullfillment. Also, it's important to note there's no such thing as a clean hooker. Any tryst you enter into with one is risky by virtue of the nature of the transaction. Be smart. Smart is attractive. Lonely, desperate and easy is not. It's your call.

  10. #18
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    Thanks for all your suggestions guys. Ik I came off as super negative, annoying, irritable and just a pathetic loser, but I was just frustrated when I was writing that post. I have immense respect for women and am not the typical Indian show bob vagene guy. I mostly interact with women ik and it hasn't always gone well for me. I have never turned down a female, but that's because no one has ever approached me in the past. And it took me a while to reply here because I was trying to figure out how and realized that all I had to do was just login lol. Sorry about that. In fact, after going through this thread, it cheered me up a lot that I had pretty fun conversations with the women I met today. I never go for women outside of my league and ik that never works. The only reason why I went to the club and offered to buy drinks was because I was trying something new. I've actually managed to dance with 2 or 3 girls but the negativity with the way they rejected me or straight up ignored was what lead me to use such terrible language whilst referring to the same. That was never the intention and after digging through multiple websites, all I could find was the same response over and over again that just didn't make sense to me as I was doing everything they were asking people like me to do. I've had a colleague accuse me of sexual assault once and all of that just adds up. Of course, I've never assaulted women, let alone get into flights in the first place ever. I'm the type of guy that just takes insults to the face and walk out like it never happened. In fact, I would never be able to get angry at anyone regardless of what they've done to me. A few days back, one of my friends, whom I considered a brother to me, used a proxy to steal my huge stash of weed and he still is playing all these games with me like he never did it but it was the proxy who's the villain and that he's super pissed and all. I haven't even talked to him about this issue despite having proof that it was him who did it. Sounds like I come off as a overly concerned and nice guy, but I'm not really. I respect people and value their privacy and understand when a person wants to have fun alone and when someone is looking for someone to talk to. That's the people I approach, the average ones. I wish I could go for the hot ones, but to this day, I've never approached someone like that, I've only maintained either professional or friendly relationships with people like that. My concern was that the women who knew me and who kept telling me how much of a nice guy I am and blah blah blah were who I've asked out. When that didn't work out, over the period of a few years that I finally decided to go to the club and find random people to socialize with and see if they were interested in continuing the conversation on a later date. That hasn't worked out as well. As I said in the post, I will not stop trying, but I have every intention to have sexual relations with a prostitute, possibly in the coming weeks. I'm too curious now, being 23 years old, seeing people around me get laid multiple times a week, I just can't play the waiting game anymore. Sounds like a bad idea, ik, but I'll definitely be using protection. There have been times when a pack of condoms have been lying around in my backpack or jacket pocket for entire semesters, until I finally give it away to a friend who constantly gets laid every day or week. I'm not someone who talks to women in the hope of nailing them the same night, in fact, I'd rather have it take time so I could savour every moment that leads up to it and experience the joy and pleasure of romance first hand. To this date, I've only seen it in movies or in my friend circle. Quite unfortunate, but while that post was being written, it was 10 am in the morning and I had been up the whole night trying to understand where I was going wrong and was just, pissed. That was really immature and I'd like to apologise for it.
    Again, thank you so much for the responses and after reading this if anyone has a different suggestion, I'd love to hear that.

  11. #19
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    Also to the person who asked me to start working out, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that having a healthier lifestyle would go a long way in helping out. I used to weigh almost 110 kgs, that number has gone down to 85 over the past few months. I've had issues with weight before, but there were times when I was going through depression and yada yada yada, the usual. I'm not looking for sympathy here, my life was miserable for a while until I took action and straightened things out. I may be many things but definitely not a snowflake. I take insults and abuses to the chin and walk out without a scratch. I like to consider myself sophisticated and mature, not a wannabe thug or cool guy.

  12. #20
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Have you tried meeting women in different venues? The clubs aren't always the best place to meet someone, Ed Sheeran can tell you that..ha. Just kidding.
    But no, seriously, they are full of women who are seeking attention from the wrong guys.

    Have you tried meetups? It's a site online for meeting people. Maybe in a different setting after you've gotten to know someone a bit better it would work out better.
    What about cooking classes or those type of hobbies where you could meet someone who shared a common interest?

    Have a friend set you up? Dating sites? They do work, sometimes. You sit and chat with someone till you get to know them, it might work better.

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