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Thread: Confused, or maybe just stupid

  1. #1
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    Confused, or maybe just stupid

    I need an outside opinion. A girl I really really like and have a history with broke up with her boyfriend last week, and she texted me as soon as she did, and Iím not sure what to think of it. At first she was texting me all day and responding me to like super fast, telling me she misses me, telling me she really wants me to go visit her and spend the weekend with her and etc. It was amazing, now we only text for a 2 hour time period throughout the day, she just stops answering mid conversation, then posts on insta, and I donít hear from her. It really ing sucks but I figure w/e she lost interest. Then sheíll just text me out of nowhere almost a full day after not saying anything, and start talking to me. Sheís done this the past 4 days and itís really ing with me. I donít want to text her and confront her because it looks super clingy/desperate but itís really messing with my head. She hit me up first, she always had interest in me for whatever reason, we have really good chemistry in person. Idk what to do, I canít talk about this with my friends because our whole friend group knows each other. Itís making me mad, Iíve been with plenty of women before but Iíve only had feelings for her and my ex. Iím not sure what the problem is, i could really use some advice

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    Important to add that we have been with each other physically in the past. She confessed how much she liked me when I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago, we had a good thing for a couple of weeks but long story short I started ignoring her, and briefly and secretly took my ex back. The more I ignored her, tried to steer her away, and treated her like garbage the more she wanted me. Eventually I told her about my ex, she started dating someone else a month later, I broke up with my ex the same time. In that year and a half they dated, she would message me a lot but lost interest after a day. I wouldnít message her first I donít want to be the reason she breaks up with him because even if Iím not with her, I still care about her. My friend group went away last summer for a weekend and she brought her boyfriend and I was single, we spoke in the corner for most of the first night and were flirting really hard as her boyfriend was asleep. I really wanted her and it took every ounce of self control to not absolutely attack her beautiful lips. We didnít get much alone time rest of the weekend, turns out she was ready to break up with her boyfriend right then and there if I just told her how I felt about her, or if I made a move on her, she told this to our female friends and they told me a couple of months after. Fast forward to a week ago, Iíve though about her at least once a day for the past year and a half. I didnít know how amazing she was until I lost her. She broke up with her boyfriend last week, he seemed like a nice guy, but he was a piece of . He was on Grindr hooking up with guys behind her back, and one of the guys he hooked up with messaged her on Instagram and told her everything, because he was in love with him. She was really hurt, messaged me, we talked about it for a little bit, then she told me how she needs me to come see her, she missed me so much, and that she needs a real man to give her some. The first day that she stopped answering me, she messaged me almost a full day later, asking how my day went, and I told her it was good, and that I wanted to message her earlier but I knew she was going through some and I didnít want to bother her. She thought it was so sweet and appreciated it .Same thing happened the next 3 days, and now here I am, extremely stressed and asking for all the help I could get. Sorry for the mouthful, I appreciate everything!!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately because everyone is randomly sleeping with everyone the best thing you can do is get to a doctor for a full STD panel. Use condoms and stop dating her and start fresh. Stop having sex until you get checked for STDs. Do not keep going back and forth between a bunch of girls from your friend group.

    It sounds like everyone may need to get to a the clinic for STD tests and condoms. Keep in mind STD are transmitted through oral sex as well. Read up on this: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Fongule
    The more I ignored her, tried to steer her away, and treated her like garbage the more she wanted me. She broke up with her boyfriend last week, he seemed like a nice guy, but he was a piece of . He was on Grindr hooking up with guys behind her back

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Why worry about text? Enjoy your time with her. Text is for friends or to make a date. Get more friends if you like to text.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    have you ever heard of being a stepping stone? because that is what you are to her. She is just using you as a buffer while she heals from her breakup...kinda of getting attention to give herself an ego boost. Anyone who gets dumped feels pretty low so she's reaching out to you and probably other guys to keep her high. It's not what you think, so you better not get your hopes up. I recommend you ignore her and don't reach out. Never be the hopeless shlep being stepped on.

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Well, If I was her, I wouldn't give you much attention either since you used her while you secretly tried it on again with your ex. however, I'll give you some advice anyway.

    telling me she misses me, telling me she really wants me to go visit her and spend the weekend with her and etc.
    Quit texting and ask her out on a proper date. If she turns you down then block and delete her so you can get over your infatuation of her and find someone who actually makes an effort to show you she's into you.

    Text text text That's a bs way to court someone.

  8. #7
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    Texting is for messages, not conversation. Stop texting and call her.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Call her, ask her out on a real date (gasp) and keep your clothes on.

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    Thanks for the feedback everyone, really means a lot
    Last edited by Fongule; 01-28-2020 at 10:51 PM.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    have you ever heard of being a stepping stone? because that is what you are to her. She is just using you as a buffer while she heals from her breakup...kinda of getting attention to give herself an ego boost. Anyone who gets dumped feels pretty low so she's reaching out to you and probably other guys to keep her high. It's not what you think, so you better not get your hopes up. I recommend you ignore her and don't reach out. Never be the hopeless shlep being stepped on.

    Iím starting to think that as well she did the same thing today, just sucks to hear. Not going to ignore her though, if thereís a chance I need to take it

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