Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: Breakup advice

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    6

    Breakup advice

    Hello,

    I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years . Lately we got into an argument where I felt like he had wronged me in some way and I explained that to him but he refused that he did something wrong and would say I pretend to know it all. Some context of this argument is that I wanted to go to a work party but the morning of the work party it was a bit cold and I was tired so I wasnít sure whether I would want to go. I sent him a message asking for opinions on what to say , he informed me that he will let me know , hours later I messaged him that I thought about it and I will go and stay for an hour and after that he started saying I am very weird and that I do what I want and ignore his advice , and I was so confused because this wasnít that situation. And it wasnít that I didnít listen to his advice , I just changed my mind about going . So this is where the argument started and I said it was just wrong for him to say something like that in this situation but he kept on saying it again and again. We took a little break because we were not on the same page ( I suggested we relax because he wanted to end things) so a day later I try messaging and calling and no reply and he then proceeds to breakup with me through text . Itís always been like this anytime we have an argument he would always want to end the relationship, whenever I have a different thought or opinion to him he would say I am pretending to be a know it all and that he has been through life ( he is 8 years older than me ) every argument is usually my fault and after every argument when he ends it I go back to him and say that he was right and he would come back to me . This time when he ended things at first I begged but I later sent him a message saying how much I love him and itís okay if he wants to end things . His reply was then him blaming it on me that I caused the breakup that I brought us to that current situation. After that text I never replied , it had now been 5 days and itís been so tough , I cry myself to sleep , itís just been difficult . Should I say something to him? I do not know if Iím doing the right thing walking away and going no contact I just donít know .

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,560
    This relationship is dreadfully unhealthy and he treats you like a child.

    It is beyond time for this to be over. He is not a good boyfriend and you deserve someone who respects you and genuinely loves you. This guy doesn't.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    36,960
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. Take this time to reflect on if you want to be in chronic right/wrong power struggles like this. Who cares what he thinks? Think for yourself. This type of chronic bickering indicates general incompatibility and deeper issues.

    Do not ask people what to do then ignore it, just don't ask. Make your own decisions. Stop torturing yourself and let this bickering and power struggle finally be over. He doesn't need your permission to end things. Use this time to decide how to pick your battles.
    Originally Posted by Khona18
    I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years
    I felt like he had wronged me in some way
    I said it was just wrong for him to say something like that
    I suggested we relax because he wanted to end things)
    I later sent him a message saying how much I love him and itís okay if he wants to end things .

  4. #4
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    California
    Age
    35
    Posts
    299
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Khona18
    Hello,
    Itís always been like this anytime we have an argument he would always want to end the relationship... every argument is usually my fault and after every argument when he ends it I go back to him and say that he was right and he would come back to me
    OP you need to work on yourself... Learn to love yourself so you don't subject yourself to unhealthy relationships like this and waste valuable time and energy and tears on a poor excuse of a man.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,153
    He sounds like a manipulative jerk. I don't understand why you didn't dump him, long ago.

    You need to address your self worth.

    Stay broken up.

  7. #6
    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    347
    Gender
    Female
    I can see someone getting frustrated, if their advice gets repeatedly ignored, but this is such a bizarre hill to die on. What is it to him, if you decide to go to a work function or not? Assuming you didnít cancel plans with him last minute, I donít see why this matters to him so much.
    Also breaking up shouldnít be used as a tool to get what you want. If heís repeatedly broken up with you over small arguments, itís probably better to call it quits.

  8. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    6
    MissCanuck - thank you for taking the time for replying to my post . Thereís some aspects about him that are good but others that are just terrible , we have been at this for two years now and multiple times he ends the relationship over an argument . You are right it is time this is all over .

  9. #8

    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    6
    Originally Posted by BecxyRex
    I can see someone getting frustrated, if their advice gets repeatedly ignored, but this is such a bizarre hill to die on. What is it to him, if you decide to go to a work function or not? Assuming you didnít cancel plans with him last minute, I donít see why this matters to him so much.
    Also breaking up shouldnít be used as a tool to get what you want. If heís repeatedly broken up with you over small arguments, itís probably better to call it quits.

    We had no plans that day , I had actually invited him to come with me to the work party and he refused.This isnít the first he has ended the relationship over a fight , I have honestly lost count .

  10. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    6
    Originally Posted by LootieTootie
    OP you need to work on yourself... Learn to love yourself so you don't subject yourself to unhealthy relationships like this and waste valuable time and energy and tears on a poor excuse of a man.
    I havent contacted him for days and I have been doing exactly that , working on myself and trying to move on from this .

  11. #10
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,168
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Khona18
    I havent contacted him for days and I have been doing exactly that , working on myself and trying to move on from this .
    That's good, it's what you need to do. He sounds like a jerk who would be 8 yrs younger than you, not older.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •