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Thread: Breakup advice

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you come from a high conflict home? Why would this type of thing not alert you to the red flags here?
    Originally Posted by Khona18
    This isnít the first he has ended the relationship over a fight.

  2. #12

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Do you come from a high conflict home? Why would this type of thing not alert you to the red flags here?
    No, my parents are great together . This was my first serious relationship and in my thinking it was the ups and downs of relationships.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's not. It's a very high conflict toxic relationship. End it and perhaps talk to a therapist to understand what healthy relationships look like. Learn conflict resolution skills. Does he have mood issues or drink heavily? Also google toxic relationships and red flags for relationships. Educate yourself. The longer you stay the more toxic damage will be done.

    As far as your end? Pick your battles, think for yourself and stop needing to be right about every little thing. Let things go. Arguments take two, so deescalate and most of all remove yourself from this situation.
    Originally Posted by Khona18
    in my thinking it was the ups and downs of relationships.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It's more serious than him being a jerk. He sounds like a control freak. He thinks he is never wrong, and never says the word "sorry". But nobody is perfect - particularly him. It's a mental disorder. That means it's bad.

    You are probably better off now that you are broken up. It's better to be single than in a poor relationship.

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  6. #15

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's not. It's a very high conflict toxic relationship. End it and perhaps talk to a therapist to understand what healthy relationships look like. Learn conflict resolution skills. Does he have mood issues or drink heavily? Also google toxic relationships and red flags for relationships. Educate yourself. The longer you stay the more toxic damage will be done.

    As far as your end? Pick your battles, think for yourself and stop needing to be right about every little thing. Let things go. Arguments take two, so deescalate and most of all remove yourself from this situation.
    He is easily angered , so I usually have to watch what I say or what I do . Some aspects of the relationship were not okay but there was also good times and thatís why I stayed . I had my faults too . Thank you for the advice I am only 22 and I have a lot to learn but I am going to be strong and move on from this relationship

  7. #16
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    No man is worth that. You need more time to heal and reflect on how this person treated you. He is mentally abusive manipulating you, diverting blame....he is a true narcissist.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    A healthy person would allow the first breakup to stay in place, not return to someone who can't be trusted to stick around. Well, there's no time like the present. You confirmed your acceptance of the breakup, which is a great first step in the right direction. Keep moving forward, and you will thank yourself later.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    No relationship and no person is 100% toxic. However, just because a person does some things that are good, doesn't mean that you should accept all the accompanying toxic behavior.

    As a general rule of thumb, the first time a guy breaks up with you should be the absolute last. Do not get back together, do not attempt do overs. All you are doing is teaching that person that they can discard you and there are no consequences. You'll come right back for round two, three, ten.....twenty.....

  10. #19
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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