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Third Party Problems


brandnu

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In January 2019 I started talking to a guy at work. We were getting along at first but my intuition (or maybe just my paranoia) kept accusing him of cheating on me so we were on again off again.

 

In July we had some new hires. One of the new hires clicked with me kind of fast. Now we met at work so I didn’t think we were “girls” or anything but I didn’t expect what I’m about to type.

 

In August I found out, after the rest of the company, that the new hire and my guy started talking and I had to find out in a humiliating way.

 

On Monday night against better judgment I called him. He ignored my call and three hours later he text me which led to a string of text msgs into early Wednesday morning

 

He was telling me how “everyone” was saying that she was a better match for him than I was and even though I looked better I just wasn’t worth the headache.

 

This morning he sent a text

 

“Matter of fact I’ll still talk to you just not on that level anymore, sounds good?”

 

Ok cool how’s life?”

 

 

And now I’m mixed up. I feel as though I should be mad but I also feel as though it’s not going as good as he claims (lol the tarot community said so. But seriously if it’s going that well why would you entertain a text msg...especially a series of them?)

 

Is he a narcissist? Was I being Love bombed all along?

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I'm confused.... when you call him your guy does that mean you both were officially boyfriend and girlfriend or... just dating?

 

If you both were just dating, then he has every right to date who he wants.

 

Sidenote.... I always tell my friends and family, DO NOT DATE PEOPLE WITHIN YOUR COMPANY. Maybe after when you both are not working in the same company.

 

You open yourself up to be a water cooler subject. Also if it doesn't work out, who knows how vindictive or jealous the other person can be.

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Definitely with the information you have now, this guy doesn’t possess sufficient interest in being your partner to be a good candidate for being your partner. Do yourself the kindness of letting him go and investing your energy elsewhere

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Were you ever really dating this guy or just on/off hooking up? Ignore him, he seems to be the office Lothario. If he keeps bothering you file a sexual harassment complaint. In the meantime round out your life outside of work and avoid petty water-cooler gossip.

I started talking to a guy at work. we were on again off again.

 

He was telling me how “everyone” was saying that she was a better match for him.

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He doesn't want to be with you. Accept it and move on. Don't count on the "Tarot community" either. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't talk to you like he did with such apathy and indifference once the new chica came into the picture.

 

He was telling me how “everyone” was saying that she was a better match for him than I was and even though I looked better I just wasn’t worth the headache.
Not worth the headache? Maybe you ought to concentrate on what that actually means and change yourself up if you are indeed a "headache." What did he mean by that?
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What are you mixed up about? Dude just totally discarded you like yesterday's trash.

 

Have enough self respect to walk away from this completely. Also, learn to trust your instincts because you were completely correct that this guy is bad news. When you sense that, you need to learn to run for the nearest exit. Do not try to get involved, do not try to date or whatever, just stay far far away.

 

Finally, do not lower yourself to continuing to maintain contact except as strictly needed for work and only work. If you don't actually need to speak to him at work about work, then forget he exists. Overall, don't p... in the water you need to drink and don't get involved romantically at work. Seems like a common sense rule and yet.....so many people don't get it it really leaves me smh.....

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He doesn't want to be with you. Accept it and move on. Don't count on the "Tarot community" either. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't talk to you like he did with such apathy and indifference once the new chica came into the picture.

 

Not worth the headache? Maybe you ought to concentrate on what that actually means and change yourself up if you are indeed a "headache." What did he mean by that?

 

Exactly!

 

Yes you should be mad... that he told you that you looked better but weren't worth the "headache".

 

Stand up for yourself and don't be chasing guys that don't appreciate and accept you for who you are. We can all change and improve but anyone that gets with you for your potential vs. who you are now is someone that isn't worth your time.

 

He sounds like quite a catch (aka idiot).

 

And last but not least... this should be a deterrent from ever dating anyone you work with again:

 

He was telling me how “everyone” was saying that she was a better match for him than I was

 

Do you really want to be the topic of office gossip?? At the very least, it's the fastest possible way to lose credibility with your peers... at worst, your bosses get wind and you end up being let go for being a distraction and causing trouble.

 

Stay out of the company litter box for goodness sakes.

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In January 2019 I started talking to a guy at work. We were getting along at first but my intuition (or maybe just my paranoia) kept accusing him of cheating on me so we were on again off again.

 

When you were accusing him, did you have any proof to go on or were you just being insecure. . or paranoid, as you put it?

 

Because when he did meet someone else, he commented you weren't worth the headache anymore? Why would he say that?

 

One of two things were going on here. You were needlessly insecure or he's just looking for an excuse.

 

No. . it doesn't make him a narcissist. . It just makes him not the guy for you.

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Were you ever really dating this guy or just on/off hooking up? Ignore him, he seems to be the office Lothario. If he keeps bothering you file a sexual harassment complaint. In the meantime round out your life outside of work and avoid petty water-cooler gossip.

 

Both of them quit already and I’m putting in my two weeks tomorrow

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Exactly!

 

Yes you should be mad... that he told you that you looked better but weren't worth the "headache".

 

Stand up for yourself and don't be chasing guys that don't appreciate and accept you for who you are. We can all change and improve but anyone that gets with you for your potential vs. who you are now is someone that isn't worth your time.

 

He sounds like quite a catch (aka idiot).

 

And last but not least... this should be a deterrent from ever dating anyone you work with again:

 

 

 

Do you really want to be the topic of office gossip?? At the very least, it's the fastest possible way to lose credibility with your peers... at worst, your bosses get wind and you end up being let go for being a distraction and causing trouble.

 

Stay out of the company litter box for goodness sakes.

 

He used to get rides to work with his ex and I found it suspicious

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What does "talking to" a guy mean? Did you date (as in, go out on dates), were you officially a couple?

 

No I’m not necessarily upset that he moved on it’s who he moved on with. You could have at least chose somebody in a different department but you WILLFULLY went out of your way to do that.

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I guess it is what it is. The girl is very young with very low self esteem so anyone willing to give her attention can have her. So chances are they won’t last. Rumor has it that they broke up already.

 

She’s one of those girls that’s ALWAYS talking about sex and how good her is like its cute.

 

If thats what he considers better he probably doesn’t love him either

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Originally Posted by boltnrun

What does "talking to" a guy mean? Did you date (as in, go out on dates), were you officially a couple?

No I’m not necessarily upset that he moved on it’s who he moved on with. You could have at least chose somebody in a different department but you WILLFULLY went out of your way to do that
.

 

Did you mean to quote my post? I was asking what "talking to" a guy meant. Were you two an official dating couple?

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No I’m not necessarily upset that he moved on it’s who he moved on with. You could have at least chose somebody in a different department but you WILLFULLY went out of your way to do that.

 

You can't control who someone else meets or dates especially since you really didn't want the dude in the first place and now are upset that he has decided to date someone else instead of being on again/off again with you. You guys were dead in the water and if you didn't see eachother for work, you probably would have been broken up and not even thinking about him after the summer.

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Originally Posted by boltnrun

 

 

 

.

 

Did you mean to quote my post? I was asking what "talking to" a guy meant. Were you two an official dating couple?

 

Yes I did but after rereading it I see how my reply could be confusing.

 

But no we weren’t really dating off the clock we would hang out at each other’s house but nothing too serious.

 

I’ve since moved so he doesn’t know where I live. Anyway I’m letting it go because last night it was made obvious that he lives for drama he text me yet again, tried to FaceTime me and then called me....and sent me three more text messages.

 

If you were as happy as you say why and how do you have time for this?

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