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Thread: Girlfriend problems

  1. #1
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    Girlfriend problems

    Hi all

    I have been with my girlfriend for around 3 months after meeting when away travelling. First of all we met and hang out every day for around a week, and then she flew back to where i was travelling to see me again for another week. I then met her in her home city and have spent the last 3 weeks here with her.

    Before now, it has always been great and we showed no signs of arguing or clashing etc, however the last week or so since being in her home city she has become very up and down and very snappy, and then later very loving again. She spoke to me about it and said that she has some inner problems, self confidence issues and has been heartbroken before and does not want it to happen again. She said she loves me and some times she is super loving. However, sometimes she is super snappy with me and gets upset and annoyed about the smallest of things. Her moods also get depressive and i do not know what to do. I've said this to her and she said it is just her and shes struggling like that at the moment.

    She always doubts how i feel for her and always asking me if i do really care for her etc,

    I am due to go back to my home country in 2 weeks and we are planning on trying Long distance, but i just hate how half of the time i am tip toeing around waiting for her to snap again or be upset.

    She has said to me she thinks she may be bipolar in a jokey way, but i have no idea.

    What is everyones take on the situation please?

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Yes, she's right - she has excess emotional baggage or other mental issues. Which one(s) are not important. Can you imagine what it would be like being married to this woman for ten years? It would suck the life right out of you.

    To be a good catch, they have to be sane - otherwise, a relationship is going to be a living hell........which is what you are experiencing now. Love is not enough.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is this a LDR? Is she on/off with a hometown bf? It sounds like she is using the "it's me, not you" excuse to end things. She doesn't seem ready for a relationship. Let this go. Not only is long distance difficult for two stable people but for someone who is "too heartbroken and thinks she's bipolar" it won't be sustainable. Don't try to build a relationship around a vacation fling.

    Is this the same woman?: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Izac1789
    I have been with my girlfriend for around 3 months after meeting when away travelling. She spoke to me about it and said that she has some inner problems, self confidence issues and has been heartbroken before and does not want it to happen again.I am due to go back to my home country in 2 weeks and we are planning on trying Long distance. She has said to me she thinks she may be bipolar in a jokey way

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    It is not distance now as I have been with her but need to head back to my country on 2 weeks for work so will be Long distance then.

    It is the same girl yes

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Traveling tends to bring out the fun and the excitement, so it's easy to click and get along as you are both sort of on a high and vacation mode. Unfortunately, what you are seeing now is her real self - moody, snappy, with severe issues. When you find yourself walking on eggshells, it's time to keep walking right out of their life.

    Another thing too is when someone tells you that they are damaged, believe them. They know themselves and they know what they are talking about. She doesn't sound like she is in any shape to date and if she thinks or knows she is bipolar, then she needs to deal with that long before she attempts to date again.

    This is one of those things where if you stick around and try to help her, you'll actually be harming her by becoming her enabler. She doesn't have to work on her issues because she found a guy who'll put up with her bs kind of a thing. The kindest thing you can do is part ways and walk away completely so she has to face herself and address her issues.

    In your shoes, I'd cut this trip short, go back home or go spend what's left of my time off somewhere else that's actually fun and relaxing for me. I would not even consider dating her or trying to make this work. At 3 months you should still be on cloud 9 and getting along easily and when you aren't, that's your clue that the compatibility is not there even if it seemed to be earlier. It's the part of dating that really sucks as you think you found someone great and then you realize that they really aren't who you thought they are.

  7. #6
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    It will get much worse. It has only been 3 months, it is time to end it, plus LDRs are rarely successful and you detract have big issues.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    She seems to have issues that a doctor may be able to help her with. I predict misery for you if you continue on with her. Cut your losses.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She's not suited for this LDR or any LDR if she has issues like that. LDRs require an immense amount of trust and security. It's going to be an uphill battle. TBH you should quit it.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    When you see someone sporadically, you don't really get to know them.
    It's the day to day routine, as you are discovering, that the real person unfolds in front of you.

  11. #10
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    I don't think I would bank on this one lasting, OP.

    She's already showing signs of distress with you there at her side; I can't see how long-distance will do anything but make that situation worse. Listen to your gut on this.


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