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Thread: Do I end my relationship?

  1. #1
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    Do I end my relationship?

    So Iíve only been with my boyfriend for 4 and half months but Iím having some doubts. Letís just say itís his attitude towards things and the way he makes me feel. At the start he was so loving and I never felt better, after being in a controlling relationship before I wanted someone who would except me for who I am and I thought i did. Just recently heís been complaining about me being on my phone and says that I post stuff on social media because I like the attention. Thatís not true, I go on there to browse and rarely post, and heís gone and deleted all his social media as he doesnít like it so he has no idea how much I post. Iím also not even on my phone that much around him, itís more when Iím bored and got nothing to do when Iím alone. This morning I woke up and the first thing he said was ďI didnít know you downloaded twitterĒ and then went on to say ďthat means youíre gonna rinse it instead of spending time with meĒ and he basically went on to ask what I use Twitter for and stuff. Thereís also other things, now Iím all for people being honest but on Christmas Day, I did my makeup Christmassy looking and had green eyeshadow on as I was at his house for Christmas night and wanted to make the festive effort and when I walked in, he said ďI donít like your eyeshadow, it makes you look bruisedĒ in front of all of his family, and I felt a little hurt by it. We also had an argument because he wanted me to shave my legs and I was lazy and didnít do it. Once he was at my house and my sister was talking to us and he put both of his earphones in and I ripped them out saying it was rude and then later explained that he didnít agree with what she was saying. There was also a time that I felt down and said to him I wanted to go for a drive alone and he got mad because I didnít ask him to come with me but I just needed to be alone. He also has random bouts of being really grumpy and will just sit there and not talk to me. I just donít know what to do

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollsmaur
    So Iíve only been with my boyfriend for 4 and half months but Iím having some doubts. Letís just say itís his attitude towards things and the way he makes me feel. At the start he was so loving and I never felt better
    4 and a half months still is the start of the relationship, and if he makes you feel weird already, then yes, it is time to let him go and move on. He sounds controlling.

    At 4 and a half months, you should still be feeling gooey about each other and enjoying each others company, not telling each other what you don't like about their behaviours.

    Dump him. Also, while two people don't necessarily make a pattern, your ex and now this guy are both controlling types, you might want to look into why you are attracting and attracted to this type of man. This may help you avoid them in the future.

  3. #3
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    Heís not controlling. He questions things . And you donít have a good enough answer for his questions. That suggests incompatibility only to me.

    If he was controlling he would not have come off social media. His one avenue to online stalk you.

    He doesnít like social media. You do.

    Green eyeshadow for Christmas??! Why??of course itís going to make you look like you had a black eye thatís almost getting better. He just pointed out what everyone else was thinking.

    In the honeymoon phase (up to one year) most girls will of course shave their legs!!! Itís the honeymoon phase!!!?
    Fine if you never shaved them from day one but why stop now???

    This is all just incompatibility and I have no idea why you would even be at this early stage having Christmas with him?

    Your priorities seem a bit off? As does his?


    Thatís fine.

    Donít date each other.

  4. #4

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    I am sorry to say that it looks like you went from one controlling relationship to another. This is far more than incompatibility. It's okay not to like all the same things as your partner. I am guessing there are things you have in common since you became exclusive with him in the first place. However, anyone who constantly questions your actions and choices without provocation (like he caught you texting or talking to other guys in the past) is someone who is trying to get you to doubt your actions and change them to suit him - very controlling. Talk to him about your concerns with how he questions you and see if there are any improvements. If not, then you know what to do. Also, I agree with the poster who suggests you look into why you have attracted 2 controlling guys in a row.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok 18 weeks of dating is still in the get to know you period, and now you know he's a jerk but 18 weeks is not much of an investment so you can tell him it's not working and simply walk away.

    Do not defend or argue about your habits walk out of the room and go home or ask him to leave. Why is he going through your phone or patrolling your social media? Stop accepting his idiotic insults. You should have dumped him after the makeup remark. Learn to spot idiots like this sooner and avoid getting involved.

    Educate yourself on Red Flags For Abusive Relationships. Google it right now after you text this moron good bye and delete and block him from All your social media and messaging apps.
    Originally Posted by Hollsmaur
    heís been complaining about me being on my phone and says that I post stuff on social media because I like the attention.
    he said was ďI didnít know you downloaded twitterĒ a
    he said ďI donít like your eyeshadow, it makes you look bruisedĒ in front of all of his family
    He also has random bouts of being really grumpy and will just sit there and not talk to me.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I'm surprised you've lasted this long as any one of these incidents is enough to dump him immediately and with extreme prejudice.

    You went from one controlling guy to another jerk (trying to be polite here). Yes, you need to get rid of him asap. More importantly you really need to think long and hard what initially attracts you to these types? You don't want to keep repeating the cycle, so you've got to figure it out. Are you pulled in by hot and heavy chase, do you confuse aggression with confidence? What is it? You need to work it out so you don't become a statistic.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok 18 weeks of dating is still in the get to know you period, and now you know he's a jerk but 18 weeks is not much of an investment so you can tell him it's not working and simply walk away.

    Do not defend or argue about your habits walk out of the room and go home or ask him to leave. Why is he going through your phone or patrolling your social media? Stop accepting his idiotic insults. You should have dumped him after the makeup remark. Learn to spot idiots like this sooner and avoid getting involved.

    Educate yourself on Red Flags For Abusive Relationships. Google it right now after you text this moron good bye and delete and block him from All your social media and messaging apps.
    This ^^^^^ the guy is a controlling pain in the butt. Time to move on.

  9. #8
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    You are in another controlling relationship. You should know this!

    You seem to be the common denominator, as you keep on choosing controlling jerks.

    Dump him. And be single for a long while to reflect on your choices.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Do you think control and extreme jealousy are signs of "love"?

  11. #10
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    Is he still denying you sex and refusing to watch your videos?

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