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Thread: he cheated, do i stay or go?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    While I can't tell you what you 'should' do, I can speak for myself. Cheating would be a no-brainer. I ditch the guy cleanly with zero contact afterward. Who needs a person who can't be trusted?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Very sorry to hear this. Unfortunately anyone capable of this much deception, betrayal and duplicity is not someone worth your time. Smiling in your face while stabbing you in the back is not "never had a problem".

    Get to a doctor for STD testing, obviously he runs around having unprotected sex. What he admitted is the tip of the iceberg because he was afraid it would come out, otherwise he would have kept running around behind your back making babies with other woman.

    "Another kid"? how many baby mamas does this creep have? He will have to pay child support whether he wants another kid or not. You and his kid are not "a family", since this whole thing is a sham. Perhaps you were the babysitter now and then. You can do much better than this and have your own real family with your own children and a man who can keep his pants zipped.

    What you can do is imagine a better life without him since the one you had with him was all a lie.
    Originally Posted by Lynn78
    My boyfriend of over 2 years, that I've never had a problem with I was told today I've got a baby. So the baby was born in December. my boyfriend has told her he doesn't want another kid I can't imagine a life without them in it, but i cant imagine a life with a cheater, either.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Some relationships can survive cheating, some can't - flip a coin. Counseling may help.

    If you want to keep a relationship, don't ever cheat.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Wow. I'm sorry. This is huge and must be devastating.

    I would not be able to continue this relationship. A healthy, happy, relationship between two people is based on love and trust. And this situation is not that.

    I feel staying with him, will for the short term ease some of the pain, as he knows he is in the dog house. So he will be acting a certain way that is comforting.....

    HOWEVER!

    In time, he will no longer have those feelings of guilt. And he will come to decide, you love him so much, you won't leave him. No matter what...

    In time, you will resent him and yourself for accepting this. And you probably, will feel like since you stayed, you can't leave.... The relationship will degrade into misery because you wont respect him or yourself.... because you know having sex with someone else is not what a loving partner does.

    Shame on him. He has horrible morals. Is selfish and a liar. Proof by his own actions. And to simply say, he doesn't want anorher kid, after he made him or her! That is more telling about who he is as a person than anything. If he cant be a man for his child, how could ever be ine for you?

    His family and friends, may be great, but they're not the ones in this.... you can't base any decision on them.

    Good luck. Be strong! You deserve and are worth better than this POS!

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lynn78
    ive been with him for 2 years and 4 months, the baby is 5 weeks old. He says this is the only time hes cheated but hes probably lying.
    Whenever someone discloses their indiscretion, they try to soften the blow by making light of it. Remember, they are in damage control mode.

    Is it possible it was only one time? Maybe. But you typically need to times the number by 10 for every one time they say they did something.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    If you said this "I have told him if he ever cheated on me I was done." and you stay he will know he can do whatever he wants with whomever and you'll just take it.

    Why don't you want to stick with what you said? If you didn't mean it why say it?

  8. #17
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    People make relationships so much more complicated than it needs to be. It's simple really: A partner is supposed to be someone who will go through life with you as a team and better it with love and respect. When a person is hindering your ability to feel free, happy, and content, then why stay? If they disrespect not only your mind by causing you mental pain through cheating (multiple times at that!), but blatantly disregard your health by putting you at risk for STDs, it is not worth it!! Have respect for yourself by knowing there are people out there who wouldn't even think of doing that to you and leave.

  9. 01-24-2020, 08:13 PM

  10. #18
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    Cheating to me is unforgivable and really. Low
    Dump the chump.

  11. #19
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    Originally Posted by Grahor
    *shrug* around 70% of people cheat at some time in life, males and females. Sometimes their relationships survive, sometimes not. But do you really feel the need for that particular relationship to survive? Can you truly not see someone better than him in your future?
    That “statistic” needs context and clarification lol

    70% of people might cheat at some point in their life in early relationships but that does not mean that 70% of successful long lasting relationships involved infidelity.

  12. #20
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I question that "statistic" too. Never heard of it before and I have my doubts that it's a reliable number.

    Don't get me wrong, this forum proves how many cheaters there are, but 70% sounds far too high.

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