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My wife's sexual affair with her personal trainer


PersonalT

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We've been together for 7 years, with two children, son was 6 and daughter was 2.

My wife started attending a boot camp in Irvine CA.

One month later she established a password on her IPhone and notebook. She was getting and writing messages while I can't see it.

Once I walked in to kitchen and saw her rapidly closing one tab on safari browser. She started spending a lots of time in the front of the

mirror and wearing sexy clothes before she went to gym. Every Thursday when her trainer was having day off she would come back from "gym" not sweaty and with all her makeup in tact.

Finally i ran on to her facebook messages with her personal trainer Jose:

 

Him: "You smell so good, I still have it on me", Her: "I'm so sore this morning, I can barely move, you killed me:)))".

Then later she accidentally called me through Skype, I did not answer by some reason, Long message was left with all the details while having sex in her car that I bought for her.

 

I have posted screen shots of all facebook messages on boot camp facebook page.

Owner of camp contacted me and promised to take some action. But nothing was done. Jose's popularity among female customers was too high, and he never fired him.

I filed divorce withing 15 days.

 

Jose is still employed by the boot camp, my children went through hell due to separation of parents.

 

Can anyone advice what is the best legal action i can take against this personal trainer?

Thank you.

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I presume you deliberately included the personal and business details in the hopes his employer or other clients will see it and confront him or perhaps terminate his employment.

 

You are opening yourself up to legal action if he or the company see this.

 

This really isn't the best format to use in this situation .

 

BTW, are you planning to sue him for sleeping with your wife or something ?

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Unless your wife is in the military adultery is not illegal in California (or any US state). You can sue but you won't win because it seems like your wife was a willing participant. Your lawsuit will be thrown out of court. You can't sue the business owner for the same reasons.

 

You already sued your wife. That's about all you can do.

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What would you sue him for? Sorry, my guy. But ladies like your wife are a dime a dozen. I could near guarantee there was no force or coercion. Just two folks voluntarily engaging in infidelity. Bear in mind when I was certified, I as well as any other actual professionals had zero respect for folks like "Jose." But just as well, women treating us as glorified escorts were and are their own form of a career landmine. Turning one down was a toss of the coin as to whether you get a seething Yelp review and three of her friends writing their own for effect. Not at all suggesting Jose wasn't wearing a grin all the same, but clients are our bosses even if we've got the opportunity to diversify. Again, not saying the dude wasn't a complete ****bag, but insofar as they're holding the purse strings, you at the very least shouldn't be holding her equally culpable. A judge certainly isn't going to give a ****. And as an aside, it does women like this and your wife an immense disrespect to assume them such a manipulated party.

 

All that said, so long as you're going to take the more expedited and decisive route, I'd stick with it. I wouldn't complicate it with civil suits and spending money that could go to the betterment of your children instead on lawyers for a decision your soon to be ex-wife made. Get some counseling for yourself to help navigate this awful event and look forward to effectively parenting and co-parenting your children despite it.

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Im sorry this is happening and it sounds like you are mad as one can get but this is your wife's fault. She could have said "No" at any point but she decided that the trainer was just too hot. Im no attorney but I know California is a no fault state and you can sue whomever you want to and they can sue you right back, but California doesn't have an "alienation of affection" law so I wish you the best of luck in suing the other guy or company he works for considering it was your wife that decided to cheat on you.

But I also do know California has a 6 month cooling down period once the papers have been signed. Use this time to see if this is the route you want to go. Maybe couples counseling could be good and you two can work together. If you know you can never forgive her, then divorce will be your best option and I hope that it isn't messy.

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What would you sue him for? Sorry, my guy. But ladies like your wife are a dime a dozen. I could near guarantee there was no force or coercion. Just two folks voluntarily engaging in infidelity. Bear in mind when I was certified, I as well as any other actual professionals had zero respect for folks like "Jose." But just as well, women treating us as glorified escorts were and are their own form of a career landmine. Turning one down was a toss of the coin as to whether you get a seething Yelp review and three of her friends writing their own for effect. Not at all suggesting Jose wasn't wearing a grin all the same, but clients are our bosses even if we've got the opportunity to diversify. Again, not saying the dude wasn't a complete ****bag, but insofar as they're holding the purse strings, you at the very least shouldn't be holding her equally culpable. A judge certainly isn't going to give a ****. And as an aside, it does women like this and your wife an immense disrespect to assume them such a manipulated party.

 

All that said, so long as you're going to take the more expedited and decisive route, I'd stick with it. I wouldn't complicate it with civil suits and spending money that could go to the betterment of your children instead on lawyers for a decision your soon to be ex-wife made. Get some counseling for yourself to help navigate this awful event and look forward to effectively parenting and co-parenting your children despite it.

 

Of course it was no force! That's why I can't get him legally. All I did is I had a conversation with him face to face. I made him piss his pants without touching him.

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Why do you want to take legal action against this guy?

 

Yes he behaved unprofessionally but nothing illegal.

 

Your wife also didn’t behave well but again nothing illegal.

 

The company probably turn a blind eye to his behaviour because by the sounds of it he creates a lot of money for them.

From people like your wife. She’s having sex with him while paying him , he’s happy, she’s happy to pay for him.

 

The only one not happy is you , but why try get him fired? And unable to stay in his career? That will make your wife even more happy when she enters into a relationship with him and doesn’t have other female clients cracking onto him like she did.

Let her sleep in the bed she made for herself!

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It seems like your wife got the best of all worlds - an affair with a nice guy - and losing you in the process. Win-win for her, I say. And you? Bah. Get lost.

 

I’m not convinced the PT is a nice guy , the OP’s wife however does seem to go for guys who will say this ... “All I did is I had a conversation with him face to face. I made him piss his pants without touching him“

 

The OP is angry but angry at the wrong person. It’s ridiculous that he would even talk to this guy and I don’t think the PT pissed his pants , just didn’t entertain him and pissed himself laughing later??

 

I think both males in this scenario are egotistical and the wife just non committal , loves attention etc.

 

Divorce won’t change any of that. So focus should be on the kids only.

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It's not illegal to have affairs. Particularly since your wife was a willing participant. If you want legal advice regarding your divorce and child support you'll need to pay an attorney $250/hr.

 

The best advice is stay out of trouble yourself and do not threaten, harass or stalk this guy or post libel about him or his employer on public sites. . Acting like the insanely jealous husband will get you into legal problems, not your wife or her lover.

Can anyone advice what is the best legal action i can take against this personal trainer?

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You'd do better to focus your money and time on counselling. I don't mean that in a rude way but being sincere.

 

Those two won't ever be sorry for what they did. They don't have the decency to care. Best to just leave them in the past.

 

Focus on your children, spending time with them, helping them through this transition and in healing yourself.

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By focusing on the guy, you are giving him more power than he actually has. I know that's counter intuitive for you, but that's what you are inevitably doing. You are focusing on the wrong person. He doesn't have any sort of magical powers and didn't make your wife cheat. She did what she did because she wanted to. Jose is about as relevant as a pawn. If it wasn't this Jose it would be someone else. Any willing scratching post will do for a cheater. She wanted some strange and she went for what she was after and that's that.

 

Filing for divorce was the right move. Now focus on that, focus on your kids. Stay far away from her and whatever scratching post she is humping. Neither of these people are worth you getting yourself into legal hot waters because you posted something, confronted, etc, etc, etc. Stay way away. Resist the urge to lash out because all you will do is harm yourself in that process. Your lashing out can be used against you when it comes to divorce and child custody.

 

The greatest revenge is to treat people like these like the nonentities that they are while you go on to have a great life. It may seem unsatisfying in the short term, but in the long term it will be sweet. Look beyond tomorrow.

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OP is in California. That is a no fault state.

 

It's where I lived and where I got my divorce. You simply file and then wait out the 6 month period between filing and finalization. If there are children the judge may order co-parenting classes.

 

Of course the 6 months can be longer if there are disputes over custody or property. But there's no alienation of affection law.

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