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Thread: My wife's sexual affair with her personal trainer

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Unless your wife is in the military adultery is not illegal in California (or any US state). You can sue but you won't win because it seems like your wife was a willing participant. Your lawsuit will be thrown out of court. You can't sue the business owner for the same reasons.

    You already sued your wife. That's about all you can do. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    I think it would be in the best interest of your kids to let this go.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    What would you sue him for? Sorry, my guy. But ladies like your wife are a dime a dozen. I could near guarantee there was no force or coercion. Just two folks voluntarily engaging in infidelity. Bear in mind when I was certified, I as well as any other actual professionals had zero respect for folks like "Jose." But just as well, women treating us as glorified escorts were and are their own form of a career landmine. Turning one down was a toss of the coin as to whether you get a seething Yelp review and three of her friends writing their own for effect. Not at all suggesting Jose wasn't wearing a grin all the same, but clients are our bosses even if we've got the opportunity to diversify. Again, not saying the dude wasn't a complete ****bag, but insofar as they're holding the purse strings, you at the very least shouldn't be holding her equally culpable. A judge certainly isn't going to give a ****. And as an aside, it does women like this and your wife an immense disrespect to assume them such a manipulated party.

    All that said, so long as you're going to take the more expedited and decisive route, I'd stick with it. I wouldn't complicate it with civil suits and spending money that could go to the betterment of your children instead on lawyers for a decision your soon to be ex-wife made. Get some counseling for yourself to help navigate this awful event and look forward to effectively parenting and co-parenting your children despite it.

  4. #14
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    Im sorry this is happening and it sounds like you are mad as one can get but this is your wife's fault. She could have said "No" at any point but she decided that the trainer was just too hot. Im no attorney but I know California is a no fault state and you can sue whomever you want to and they can sue you right back, but California doesn't have an "alienation of affection" law so I wish you the best of luck in suing the other guy or company he works for considering it was your wife that decided to cheat on you.
    But I also do know California has a 6 month cooling down period once the papers have been signed. Use this time to see if this is the route you want to go. Maybe couples counseling could be good and you two can work together. If you know you can never forgive her, then divorce will be your best option and I hope that it isn't messy.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    What would you sue him for? Sorry, my guy. But ladies like your wife are a dime a dozen. I could near guarantee there was no force or coercion. Just two folks voluntarily engaging in infidelity. Bear in mind when I was certified, I as well as any other actual professionals had zero respect for folks like "Jose." But just as well, women treating us as glorified escorts were and are their own form of a career landmine. Turning one down was a toss of the coin as to whether you get a seething Yelp review and three of her friends writing their own for effect. Not at all suggesting Jose wasn't wearing a grin all the same, but clients are our bosses even if we've got the opportunity to diversify. Again, not saying the dude wasn't a complete ****bag, but insofar as they're holding the purse strings, you at the very least shouldn't be holding her equally culpable. A judge certainly isn't going to give a ****. And as an aside, it does women like this and your wife an immense disrespect to assume them such a manipulated party.

    All that said, so long as you're going to take the more expedited and decisive route, I'd stick with it. I wouldn't complicate it with civil suits and spending money that could go to the betterment of your children instead on lawyers for a decision your soon to be ex-wife made. Get some counseling for yourself to help navigate this awful event and look forward to effectively parenting and co-parenting your children despite it.
    Of course it was no force! That's why I can't get him legally. All I did is I had a conversation with him face to face. I made him piss his pants without touching him.

  7. #16
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    Thank you for your concern. But I'm in process of divorce. I can't stand it and don't want to live with her knowing what is she capable of.

  8. #17
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    Why do you want to take legal action against this guy?

    Yes he behaved unprofessionally but nothing illegal.

    Your wife also didnít behave well but again nothing illegal.

    The company probably turn a blind eye to his behaviour because by the sounds of it he creates a lot of money for them.
    From people like your wife. Sheís having sex with him while paying him , heís happy, sheís happy to pay for him.

    The only one not happy is you , but why try get him fired? And unable to stay in his career? That will make your wife even more happy when she enters into a relationship with him and doesnít have other female clients cracking onto him like she did.
    Let her sleep in the bed she made for herself!

  9. 01-23-2020, 03:56 AM

  10. #18
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    Originally Posted by Grahor
    It seems like your wife got the best of all worlds - an affair with a nice guy - and losing you in the process. Win-win for her, I say. And you? Bah. Get lost.
    Iím not convinced the PT is a nice guy , the OPís wife however does seem to go for guys who will say this ... ďAll I did is I had a conversation with him face to face. I made him piss his pants without touching himď

    The OP is angry but angry at the wrong person. Itís ridiculous that he would even talk to this guy and I donít think the PT pissed his pants , just didnít entertain him and pissed himself laughing later??

    I think both males in this scenario are egotistical and the wife just non committal , loves attention etc.

    Divorce wonít change any of that. So focus should be on the kids only.

  11. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's not illegal to have affairs. Particularly since your wife was a willing participant. If you want legal advice regarding your divorce and child support you'll need to pay an attorney $250/hr.

    The best advice is stay out of trouble yourself and do not threaten, harass or stalk this guy or post libel about him or his employer on public sites. . Acting like the insanely jealous husband will get you into legal problems, not your wife or her lover.
    Originally Posted by PersonalT
    Can anyone advice what is the best legal action i can take against this personal trainer?

  12. #20
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You'd do better to focus your money and time on counselling. I don't mean that in a rude way but being sincere.

    Those two won't ever be sorry for what they did. They don't have the decency to care. Best to just leave them in the past.

    Focus on your children, spending time with them, helping them through this transition and in healing yourself.

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