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Thread: Co-Worker/Friend

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    So you did know it was wrong. Otherwise you wouldn't have hidden it from your wife.

    If she knew you have been crying over another woman, a woman you work with and have spent time alone with, well I'm sure she would be deeply hurt.

    I hope posting here has indeed opened your eyes to how really bad this situation is and you're putting a stop to it immediately.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by s2teve
    >How much of this have you told your wife?
    I thought this was a rhetorical question and my lack of response to it would indicate none already. As I didn't want to hurt her.
    yes I know this is terrible. It's totally wrong and I will stop. Thanks
    On one hand you seem surprised and unaware of the extent of your behavior.
    But you just gave yourself away by admitting you didnt share your thoughts about this so called innocent friendship to spare your wife.
    If she was just a friend why wouldn't you tell your wife?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Steve, you need to really take a hint and get her message loud and clear. Stop being a pest, stop hounding her and transforming into a drama queen. She's letting you know through her passive behavior that she's backing off from you as should you, too towards her! Be mature and readjust yourself. She's letting you know that she wishes to remain professional and politely distant at the workplace and after hours.

    Never infuriate anyone. Don't contact her anymore unless it's work related at the workplace. And with that professional correspondence, keep it brief, impersonal, polite, well-mannered and respectful. You need to grow up and behave honorably.

    You're married so get chummy and confide in your wife and your female colleague has a boyfriend so she will do the same.

    I agree with others. Enforce healthy boundaries and stay in your lane. Don't be a bother.

  4. 01-22-2020, 08:54 PM

  5. #14

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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Steve, you need to really take a hint and get her message loud and clear. Stop being a pest, stop hounding her and transforming into a drama queen. She's letting you know through her passive behavior that she's backing off from you as should you, too towards her! Be mature and readjust yourself. She's letting you know that she wishes to remain professional and politely distant at the workplace and after hours.

    Never infuriate anyone. Don't contact her anymore unless it's work related at the workplace. And with that professional correspondence, keep it brief, impersonal, polite, well-mannered and respectful. You need to grow up and behave honorably.

    You're married so get chummy and confide in your wife and your female colleague has a boyfriend so she will do the same.

    I agree with others. Enforce healthy boundaries and stay in your lane. Don't be a bother.
    Yes agree - Thank you!

    I will completely be a different person from tomorrow. And keep this in mind. I swear. This has been so wrong.

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  7. #15

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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    On one hand you seem surprised and unaware of the extent of your behavior.
    But you just gave yourself away by admitting you didnt share your thoughts about this so called innocent friendship to spare your wife.
    If she was just a friend why wouldn't you tell your wife?
    True - of course I developed feelings for her. But always knew I cannot take those (feelings) to any ends. This was obvious. I was just having a "fun" relationship at work - this is what it was.

  8. #16

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So you did know it was wrong. Otherwise you wouldn't have hidden it from your wife.

    If she knew you have been crying over another woman, a woman you work with and have spent time alone with, well I'm sure she would be deeply hurt.

    I hope posting here has indeed opened your eyes to how really bad this situation is and you're putting a stop to it immediately.
    Yes it has, and I am. Thanks!

  9. #17

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    Thank you all again for your helpful advice!

    Please note I am not a bad guy! Naiive and emotionally stupid yes, but not a bad guy!

    I promise I will stop and I will ensure a comfortable work-environment once again. And I will update you on how things are going. Please check back here!

    Thanks!
    Steve

  10. #18
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Also one more thing about me: I feel sooo bad about blocking her out - since I care about her feelings, and also I am not the type to block anyone out, specially her. Like I cannot hurt anyone in any way. I feel very bad about it.
    Yet you don't feel "sooo bad" about blocking your wife out, or "hurting her" in any way? In short, are you actually asking us how to continue to cheat on your wife, and keep this charade going? Sadly, she's the true victim here.

  11. #19
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by s2teve
    Yes agree - Thank you!

    I will completely be a different person from tomorrow. And keep this in mind. I swear. This has been so wrong.
    Good, Steve. I'm glad you received your wake up call. You have a conscience if you are willing to change and do the right thing.

  12. #20

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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    Yet you don't feel "sooo bad" about blocking your wife out, or "hurting her" in any way? In short, are you actually asking us how to continue to cheat on your wife, and keep this charade going? Sadly, she's the true victim here.
    Yes valid point. But note I am going to stop this charade.

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