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Thread: Lazy family roommates

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Hit him where it hurts: HIS wallet. I hope he contributes to the rent. Increase his rent and when he gets his act together by cooperating with cleaning his fair share, then revert to charging his previous monthly rent payment. I completely agree with the extra $50. rent "cleaning fee." Consider it a monthly cleaning deposit and sweeten the deal by telling him you'll reduce his rent to the previous amount IF he cooperates with cleaning up after himself.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So you have a 3 bedroom with only one bathroom and all four of you are sharing the same bathroom?

    That's stressful all on its own without adding the mess.

    I recommend you do what my coworker did...when she and a family member were roommates and he was making her home life a living hell, she simply allowed the lease to run out and then rented a one bedroom. Sorry Family Member, no bedroom for you in my new place!

    Yes, we have a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom home. Weíve lived here for over 2 years. Before we had a 3/2 and I really miss having my own bathroom. Iím the only female in the home so yes, to say the least it is extremely stressful sharing a bathroom with 3 men..

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Just because he makes more money doesn't mean he should pay more.

    If you can't afford the place on your own, why buy it? You'll be digging yourselves into a hole that's very difficult to get out of. And what if the BIL on his own decides to move out? Would you have to foreclose?

    It just seems like you're forced to put up with a situation you don't like because you need his money. Home is supposed to be your peaceful safe haven, not somewhere where you have to have a slob living with you because you can't afford to pay for it otherwise.

    I wouldnít charge him more just because he makes more money. Heís lived with us 7 years and weíve always charged him a perfectly split and fair price. He pays exactly 1/3 of the bills. What I meant was because he does make plenty of money that it wouldnít be hurting him financially to pay a $50 cleaning fee each month.

    A mortgage on the home will actually end up being cheaper than the monthly rent we are paying now, so affording it wonít be a problem. The nasty messes and laziness aside, heís a great roommate. Heís gone a lot, when he is here he keeps to himself, he pays on time every month. Itís just he wonít lift a finger to clean any of his own messes. I donít expect him to clean our messes, just his own.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by undertheivy
    I wouldnít charge him more just because he makes more money. Heís lived with us 7 years and weíve always charged him a perfectly split and fair price. He pays exactly 1/3 of the bills. What I meant was because he does make plenty of money that it wouldnít be hurting him financially to pay a $50 cleaning fee each month.

    A mortgage on the home will actually end up being cheaper than the monthly rent we are paying now, so affording it wonít be a problem. The nasty messes and laziness aside, heís a great roommate. Heís gone a lot, when he is here he keeps to himself, he pays on time every month. Itís just he wonít lift a finger to clean any of his own messes. I donít expect him to clean our messes, just his own.
    Then it seems a simple case of you take the good with the bad. You've listed a number of good things related to having him as a roommate. So what I would do is put a deodorizer in his room and don't do his laundry. As far as food tell him he has to clean up after he prepares food including wiping the counters, etc. If he will not do that I would tell him he has to use paper plates that he purchases, for example.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    But do you want to commit to YEARS of sharing a bathroom with 3 men?

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Then it seems a simple case of you take the good with the bad. You've listed a number of good things related to having him as a roommate. So what I would do is put a deodorizer in his room and don't do his laundry. As far as food tell him he has to clean up after he prepares food including wiping the counters, etc. If he will not do that I would tell him he has to use paper plates that he purchases, for example.
    Thank you, thatís actually a good idea

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Start charging him the $50 cleaning fee starting now or institute this new charge when he starts paying his rent for upcoming months. Or, tell him in advance or prorate it. If he can afford the extra $50 per month and continues to leave messes behind, then increase $50. to $60. Keep increasing the cleaning fee rate if he's irresponsible about keeping his messes at bay. Sooner or later, he'll start to feel the noose getting tighter around his neck. He'll feel the pinch.

    If you decide to purchase a home and have a mortgage, don't share your home with him because this problem will never go away unless you desire discord and a dispute with him regarding his lack of cleanliness and endless fights will ensue regarding cleaning fees and his slob lifestyle.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Start charging him the $50 cleaning fee starting now or institute this new charge when he starts paying his rent for upcoming months. Or, tell him in advance or prorate it. If he can afford the extra $50 per month and continues to leave messes behind, then increase $50. to $60. Keep increasing the cleaning fee rate if he's irresponsible about keeping his messes at bay. Sooner or later, he'll start to feel the noose getting tighter around his neck. He'll feel the pinch.

    If you decide to purchase a home and have a mortgage, don't share your home with him because this problem will never go away unless you desire discord and a dispute with him regarding his lack of cleanliness and endless fights will ensue regarding cleaning fees and his slob lifestyle.
    She said they are buying the home they're currently living in and he will remain because they can't afford the payment without his rent money.

    What I can't get past (other than trapping themselves in a home they can't afford) is sharing one bathroom with 3 other people. That sounds like a nightmare even with scrupulously clean roommates.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Charge the extra for a cleaner. But also, get extra revenue stream with a part time or casual job outside the home. Not only to help financially but to get you out of the house more so you aren't stressing so much.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why can't he afford his own place? You should not be living off him. Stop talking at your husband BIL and stepson. It hasn't worked. You gave ZERO leverage because you are too dependent on him financially.

    It's three against one. Your husband his brother and his son are simply treating you like the help. Your husband lives off his brother and uses you as the nanny and maid. Why would any of them bother changing when your husband's laziness and interpersonal exploitation is paying off so handsomely?

    Why aren't you and your husband working real earning day jobs? Your step son can live with his mother and get a part-time job. You need to get a real paying job, get divorced and out of this three-ring circus.
    Originally Posted by undertheivy
    The thing is, the BIL makes more money than both of us combined

  11. #30
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Treating your BIL like an adult that he is, is not rude. Nagging and nagging like he is a kid who you can teach to clean his room is not only rude, but absurd and, as you are learning, completely futile.

    He's been living you for 7 years? His rent should have gone up with time. It would with any other rent situation. Just like you are getting the benefit of him living there financially, he is also getting a huge benefit of living with you - cheap rent and maid/cook services. On top of that, yes, hire a house cleaner to come scrub the kitchen, bathrooms, etc and charge your BIL. If he doesn't feel like cleaning after himself, that's his business. Since he lives with you, your business to come up with a compromise, aka hire a cleaner and BIL needs to contribute financially to what he doesn't want to do personally. This is not being rude, this is life and treating adults like adults.

    Since you are purchasing the house, yes, this is a perfect opportunity to tactfully change some rules, charge for cleaner, up the rent. Doesn't have to be a lot, but enough that you don't have to lose your mind with the cleaning and can get proper help.

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