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Thread: Dealing with girlfriend family crap

  1. #11
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    I can see why she does not like the ex:
    " Yes I agree. My daughters mother is a bit of a control freak and she can be really rude at times. My girlfriend is Hispanic and she called her an illegal which really got me pissed. My poor girlfriend is going through a tough time today as her dad was bleeding internally and I wish I was not stuck at the firehouse all day so I could comfort her. I will just have to go in the morning as soon as I get off."

    This was 1.5 weeks ago. This woman has a lot on her plate. Except it, or don't.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    In terms of your girlfriend assisting her family, you either have to accept it or not. If not, move on.
    I can't imagine how overwhelmed she must feel right now, with her father being sick and wanting to ensure that her mother is okay.
    She wants to be there for her family and help them out. Isn't this a good thing?
    Having the crux of responsibility falling on one sibling more than the others is pretty text book. It's to be expected.

    It doesn't necessarily translate into her being a doormat or problems with boundaries either. There is usually one child that is leaned on the most. Saying no and expecting dead beat brothers to step up is futile.

    I was the sibling that was leaned on the most and stepped up when needed. My integrity wouldn't have it any other way.
    I also know how to say no when necessary.
    You can choose look at it a negative or possibly you are dating the more responsible person in the family.

    I didn't read your other posts. .but the dig at being a perfect dad I think may have possibly been provoked. Is there more context to that comment? You are after all being critical of her involvement with her family.

    Either way, this isn't going to change. She isn't going to step back from her family when they need her so you'll feel better.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Your girlfriend is too high maintenance. Her problems become your problems and stress.

    It's better to have a girlfriend who will give you a fairly easy and smooth relationship including a stable background.

  4. #14
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    It makes no sense to me? I have been there her through all of her problems. I think that she may just not like my daughter because she can't have children but my daughter has already formed a bond with her and it's very sad because she is giving up on a very good guy and a possible child you will love her forever

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Jimbo251;7195222]It makes no sense to me? I have been there her through all of her problems. I think that she may just not like my daughter because she can't have children but my daughter has already formed a bond with her and it's very sad because she is giving up on a very good guy and a possible child you will love her forever[/QUOTE]

    Those are things you want for her.

    Are you sure those are things SHE wants?

  7. #16
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    Cherylyn, I think you are right!!! My mom was really upset about her comments to me as to myself " bragging " on what a good father I am.

    I promise you I never ever once said anything about how great I am as a father. Her brother has two kids with two different women and is 48 y/o and pays nothing to live in the apartment above her parents and also pays nothing in support ( per his ex and my gf ).

    His one kid threatened suicide last year and is still just a complete lazy kid who gets mad and punches the walls in her parents house. Her brother is luck his sons mother(s) are easy going as I see how hard it is to be a single dad.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jimbo251
    Cherylyn, I think you are right!!! My mom was really upset about her comments to me as to myself " bragging " on what a good father I am.

    I promise you I never ever once said anything about how great I am as a father. Her brother has two kids with two different women and is 48 y/o and pays nothing to live in the apartment above her parents and also pays nothing in support ( per his ex and my gf ).

    His one kid threatened suicide last year and is still just a complete lazy kid who gets mad and punches the walls in her parents house. Her brother is luck his sons mother(s) are easy going as I see how hard it is to be a single dad.
    But . . .are you letting on to her that her family and their challenges are getting under your skin? That might be where her comment originated from.

    You know. . you've glossed over any reason to defend her here.

    You don't need permission to leave. It is your choice.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    What is the outcome you are looking for, and how can we help?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jimbo251
    Cherylyn, I think you are right!!! My mom was really upset about her comments to me as to myself " bragging " on what a good father I am.

    I promise you I never ever once said anything about how great I am as a father. Her brother has two kids with two different women and is 48 y/o and pays nothing to live in the apartment above her parents and also pays nothing in support ( per his ex and my gf ).

    His one kid threatened suicide last year and is still just a complete lazy kid who gets mad and punches the walls in her parents house. Her brother is luck his sons mother(s) are easy going as I see how hard it is to be a single dad.
    Thank you, Jimbo251.

    If you wish to save what little sanity you have left, you need to exit your toxic, dysfunctional relationship.

    Surround yourself with normal, stable, conscientious, well grounded, honorable, moral people in your future. Good people will be a positive influence on you and contribute to your mental health.

  11. #20
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    Even before this she would rarely drive to my house. I mean she lives in a really bad area of Chicago and bought after she was divorced in 2010.

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