Idk

Looks like me and my ex are going to lunch Friday, we’ve dated 3 times now, 1st time for 4 years, 2nd time for 1 1/2 years, last time for just over a year. Chemistry is undeniable, we just keep messing up and she’s a habit I can’t quit. I just keep thinking we’ll get it right this time, but we never do.

What changes have the both of you made?

Did she say this lunch is to discuss reconciliation?

Absolutely none, I’m still the same ol redneck, she’s still the same ol ditzy blonde that’s had my heart for the past 8 years. I just sit on the boat and picture the life I think we could have together, and think of the words we both said in our last fight and how things could’ve gone differently. How I wasn’t ready to quit yet, and I keep thinking maybe we should try again. Or maybe I’m just stupid idk

Just be careful and guard your heart, Cap. I wish you the best, but you've been down this road too many times...

Absolutely none, I’m still the same ol redneck, she’s still the same ol ditzy blonde that’s had my heart for the past 8 years. I just sit on the boat and picture the life I think we could have together, and think of the words we both said in our last fight and how things could’ve gone differently. How I wasn’t ready to quit yet, and I keep thinking maybe we should try again. Or maybe I’m just stupid idk

What makes you think another try would be different if neither of you has made changes?

What have you done to resolve the issues that broke you up the last two times?

What makes you think another try would be different if neither of you has made changes?

 

What have you done to resolve the issues that broke you up the last two times?

Well 1) I’ve stopped travel huntin so much, so I’m home more and more settled, yes I’ll still go up to Arky and duck hunt a couple times a season or run down to Florida and hunt for a day or two, but the long trips to the Midwest spending weeks at a time deer hunting, staying on the deer lease every day I’m off all that is over.

Her, well the 1st and 3rd time we were together she was going through a divorce, the 2nd time we were both seeing other people but was spending most of my off time together instead of with the other people.

Maybe I’m just stupid and hoping for the impossible, but simple fact is I love her, always have. Her and her son are my family, they are the ones other than my son and Coal that I want to come home to after a 28 day hitch.

If I list the negatives I prolly wouldn’t even do it, there’s been much heartbreak, too many lies, she’s cheated on me, I’ve cheated on her. I look at all that and other things and I think what am I doing?? Just hook to the boat Thursday afternoon, throw some decoys in and haul butt to Missouri, then again I think, what if. What if we could put the past behind us, and concentrate on a future. Would it even be possible to do that? If so how would that future work out? I know it won’t be perfect, I’m not asking for perfect I’m just asking for someone to stick through thick and think, good times and bad. Accept me for who and what I am, all my faults and failures just like I’m willing to accept her.

Have you ever considered relationship therapy? It could help.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!

How long have you been separated, Cap? Long enough to make any kind of changes?

Is this the one that wasn't working and was drinking?

If you keep walking into a wall and we suggest taking the door, but you walk into the wall again anyway.

If you like the bruises then stick with it.

But just because you love her doesn't mean it's right or meant to be.

But then, based on the amount of drama, if you were to get into a stable 'normal' relationship, you'd likely be bored as you are too used to the issues.

Her, well the 1st and 3rd time we were together she was going through a divorce, the 2nd time we were both seeing other people but was spending most of my off time together instead of with the other people. .

So when you first got together she was going through a divorce.

You dated and subsequently split up.

Second time you dated was not actually dating. Just hook ups as you were both seeing others.

I assume she married one of them while hooking up with you since the 3rd time was again another divorce.

You are her safety net only. And unfortunately you want to be her hero over your kid.

I can’t advise you what to do. You choose!

Up to you but to be honest on and off again relationships don't normally last...It's a sign that there are issues and it's not really working, but you're trying to force it. I've been in yo-yo relationships before, so just speaking from my own experience....

My biggest thing is last time we were together she acted a lot like my ex wife did when she was 17, very immature, very b#####, idk what to do.

My biggest thing is last time we were together she acted a lot like my ex wife did when she was 17, very immature, very b#####, idk what to do.

Do you think she's "changed"?

Ask yourself if you're going to go see her because you feel it's healthy this time, things have changed for the better and it definitely will work. Or if you're going to go see her because you're being sentimental and are slightly lonely.

If it's the second set of reasons, don't go. You will only walk into more drama and fighting.

People rarely change romantically. Unlike what you see in Hollywood movies, you can't go back.

Find a new woman.

Absolutely none, I’m still the same ol redneck, she’s still the same ol ditzy blonde that’s had my heart for the past 8 years. I just sit on the boat and picture the life I think we could have together, and think of the words we both said in our last fight and how things could’ve gone differently. How I wasn’t ready to quit yet, and I keep thinking maybe we should try again. Or maybe I’m just stupid idk

If you're both (both being the key word) thinking of trying this on again then you shouldn't do it without the help of a good couples counselor because doing the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results is just going to leave you sad once again and will do nothing to get you over your addiction to her.

iF you can't see yourself doing couples therapy then Maybe you'd do yourself a loving gesture and just cancel the lunch and tell her it's best you don't meet because you're trying to move on. You're never going to get through this addiction to her if you don't do the cold turkey withdrawl and acceptance that you are better off without her drama which has always raised its ugly head after the initial new relationship "chemistry" fades... which always will and always does in every relationship when there is no real "love" there but rather just lust and infatuation.

Do this the smart way this time based on logic generated in the head that rests on your shoulders only.