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Thread: Frustrated GF

  1. #1

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    Frustrated GF

    My bf and I have been together for 7 months. He is an amazing man. We get along wonderfully. We have just 1 issue that I need help addressing with him....again. This is my first time asking for help on here, bit I have spoken with him about this twice before.

    We have never had sex in the time we have been together. I am 44, in my sexual prime, he is 51. Neither of us have had a sexual partner in years, when we first got together we discovered that his "equipment" doesn't work the way it used to. Having said that, we tried many things with no luck to bring him back to life over the past few months, he even suggested trying the little blue pill. We have the pill now, but he is unwilling to take it. During all of this time, I have been trying everything from lingerie, to oral for him and nothing has worked. However, he is not doing anything to make sure that I am taken care of. I feel as though I have made a complete fool of myself. I do understand there are some mitigating factors for him such as he used to be a heavy drinker, his ex killed his confidence in that area, it has been many years since he has been active, but I have been patient and supportive throughout this process including attending doctors appointments with him.

    I do know there are other ways of having sex besides intercourse. What would be the gentlest way of bringing this up and mentioning that I do need some attention too?

    Thank you in advance for your advice.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Miss AM
    We have just 1 issue that I need help addressing with him....again.
    You already have mentioned it.

    Look, would I ever volunteer for a sexless relationship? Absolutely not. But you know what I'd do after 7 months and my partner seemingly having zero interest? I'd ****in' wish her the best and go my own way. For whatever reason, this man seems content with having gone years without sex and continuing the trend. I might have the most vague level of sympathy had this been a brand new dynamic after a very active sex life with him, but this is as it's been from the beginning between you two. You accept it or you don't. I know I'd personally feel like a pretty crappy human being pressuring someone to conform to my sexual desires. He's done the appointments. He's entertained the medication. He doesn't want it.

    Recognize when you're a square peg and he's a round hole.

  3. #3

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    I do agree with you, j.man. This is my last attempt at what could be a wonderful thing, but I can't keep doing this and I don't want to pressure him. That is why I'm asking for advice on how to approach this in a gentle way, so he doesn't feel pressured, but I do want to communicate to him that I do need that attention before I walk away.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You've never brought this up before?

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  6. #5
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    Move on. This will not last long term and he sounds very selfish.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Miss AM
    I do agree with you, j.man. This is my last attempt at what could be a wonderful thing, but I can't keep doing this and I don't want to pressure him. That is why I'm asking for advice on how to approach this in a gentle way, so he doesn't feel pressured, but I do want to communicate to him that I do need that attention before I walk away.
    You already told him twice. His lack of action demonstrates it is not important for him. You are not compatible. I'm sorry .

  8. #7

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    Yes, bolt I have. He always seems to just agree and then change the subject.

    I tend to have to agree with Holly, that this may just boil down to an incompatibility thing at this point and I should just let it go.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed...Closed.


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