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Somebody tell me this is just a nightmare, please!


MariaMorgan

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Here's a little background. My husband was molested as a child for several years by a male pastor at his church. He's always been very masculine and he's never been much of a cheater because he's so badly addicted to porn and has been since he was 10. Out of nowhere he starts spending time with a friend of ours boyfriend whom he really doesn't know at all. They go shopping, apartment hunting, they've met in odd places during evening hours to "talk" but really have no business at all with eachother. Well yesterday he showed me a pic that this guy took of him in our bedroom wearing new clothes and shoes and something about that pic was screaming at me. My husband is 46 but when I saw this picture I saw an abused child being showered with gifts as a grooming tool for "molestation ". It's difficult to explain, he looked embarrassed yet excited but a little shy and uncomfortable. I'm afraid my husband is having an affair with this guy because he has a lot of money and he'd probably do this if he felt it could be beneficial to our family. I'm so worried and I need advice please. Should I just leave? Also without reason this guy acts like he hates my guts and is threatened by me and I always felt that his hostility for me was very odd since both he and my husband are in heterosexual relationships. Now in my mind it could all make sense.

I'm freaking out, please help.

 

Maria

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Sorry to hear this. Before you discuss this with your husband, get to a doctor for std testing. See a therapist privately and confidentially and discuss your concerns. It's possible your husband is on the down low but get yourself properly informed and prepared with a therapist before you enter that conversation.

I'm afraid my husband is having an affair with this guy. both he and my husband are in heterosexual relationships.
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He's always been very masculine and he's never been much of a cheater because he's so badly addicted to porn and has been since he was 10.

 

This is an odd comment. Has he in fact cheated before?

 

How is his porn addiction these days, and in which ways has it affected your marriage? Has he ever had any counselling for the abuse he suffered as a child?

 

Whether or not he is having an affair with this man is anyone's guess; you don't really have any solid evidence of that, beyond being suspicious of their new friendship. Perhaps your gut is trying to tell you something, or perhaps you're reading too much into this because of pre-existing problems in your marriage.

 

So with that mind, I will ask you: how's the state of your marriage been recently? How long have you been married?

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