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Thread: Boyfriend mom.

  1. #1
    Member Jubliee's Avatar
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    Boyfriend mom.

    I feel like I am not wanted by my boyfriend mom. Since we started dating I feel like she never liked me. It started when she didnít like me because I was never open (I deal with depression and anxiety) or I would just stick to myself. I have been living with them for the past 5 years. She chooses days on when to like me & when not to like me.. when Iím home she doesnít include me in lunches if there are ordering or when dinner is ready, everyone is called except me like Iím invisible. I would try to hug her at times & she would not hug back. I would kiss her ďhi, byeĒ & she would not kiss back. When I walk into the house from work, she doesnít even care that I came home to say hi. But when my boyfriend brother girlfriend comes in.. sheís so quick to give her hugs & kisses. She doesnít acknowledge me.. i try to ask her why didnít kiss me back.. her excuse is because a 2 month old baby hurt her check.. which is an excuse. I try taking to her on how she treats me & what bothers me & she just throws excuses at me.. idk if Iím just overreacting or itís my depression.. i just want to feel accepted , wanted, loved.. I didnít grow up with family . I didnít grow up with my mom & dad & adopted so Iím not sure if Iím desperate feeling a motherís love

  2. #2
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    Are you paying rent? If not, how do you contribute to the household? Do you prepare dinner? Clean the house? Why should she treat you like a daughter -she is not your mother or your mother in law. Why do you live with this family? How old are you? Please don't burden this woman with being a mother figure to you . You are dating her son and for some reason you are living in her home which is probably difficult for her (which is why I asked the questions I did).

    What are you doing to treat your depression and anxiety? I'm sorry you are feeling sad.

  3. #3
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    If you've been living with them for five months, surely you can ask her why she doesn't seem to like you.

  4. #4
    Member Jubliee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Are you paying rent? If not, how do you contribute to the household? Do you prepare dinner? Clean the house? Why should she treat you like a daughter -she is not your mother or your mother in law. Why do you live with this family? How old are you? Please don't burden this woman with being a mother figure to you . You are dating her son and for some reason you are living in her home which is probably difficult for her (which is why I asked the questions I did).

    What are you doing to treat your depression and anxiety? I'm sorry you are feeling sad.
    Of course I am paying rent. Every month. Never late! Of course I cook dinner once a week, everyone takes turn. Of course I clean, wash dishes. Do laundry for them, babysit. & she is soon to be mother in law. We only been engaged for a month but been together for 6 years. I have no where else to live. She is nice enough to have me live under her roof. I am 26 years old. I donít ever disrespect her

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  6. #5
    Member Jubliee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    If you've been living with them for five months, surely you can ask her why she doesn't seem to like you.
    Iíve been living under her roof for about 5 years now

  7. #6
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    Do you pay market rent or less than market? Do you pay for food, other expenses? I'm glad you pay rent. When is the wedding? I would not have the expectations of having her treat you like a daughter. When you and your husband move out (you referred to him as boyfriend, now you say you are engaged) and have your own home and are financially independent then I'd sort of try to start from square one - develop an adult to adult relationship - a relationship of equals.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Jubliee
    I feel like I am not wanted by my boyfriend mom. Since we started dating I feel like she never liked me. It started when she didnít like me because I was never open (I deal with depression and anxiety) or I would just stick to myself.
    If you go in your room and just keep to yourself, they may feel like they are bothering you by asking if you want anything.

  9. #8
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    You and your boyfriend would be wise to move out.

    Do you both work?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You can never force anyone to like you. I figured this out long ago.

    Living with your boyfriend's mother for 5 years is too long and becoming independent and moving out was long overdue.

    You'll have to tolerate and endure your boyfriend's mother's snubs as you live under her roof. The only way you'll feel free and at peace is when you and your boyfriend move out and reside at your own house or apt.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    What do you mean by a 2 month old baby hurt her check? Did she just have a baby?

    I'm worried about you. Your last post here was about worries and pressure from your bf to have a baby.
    Now you are so concerned about his mom liking you.

    I'm sorry if you have not felt loved and accepted in this life. If I could snap my fingers to have changed that for you, I would. Sadly, it's not so easy.

    As an adult, the best we can do is build ourselves to the point where we can rely on out own love and strength. Gaining independence can be key in this, as we learn we can provide what we need ourselves, we can rely on that no matter what.

    People tend to resent those who put out neediness. No disrespect, but you are putting those vibes out, even on here. It will be so much more for those who are living with you, particularly a woman whose son is dating you and has you living with him in her home. Parents will take out on you, too, any negatives they may feel towards their child in the scenario. It's just human nature.

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