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Thread: Boyfriend mom.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    At 26 you should not be living with them. You and your bf should move into your own place.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I don't know if you've ever heard the expression, "There can only be one queen bee in the hive." It's hard for a woman to share her home with another adult woman, especially one who is not related to her, and even when it's your own blood when that woman becomes an adult. I know that I always got along with my mother, but once a few years out of high school, she began to pick fights with me, probably like a mother bird throwing a bird who can fly out of its nest. After I moved out, we got along again.

    Your excuse that you had no place else to live is an excuse. You could have rented with one or more friends and avoided a bad beginning with a future in-law. When your bf's mother should have been nearing an empty nest, instead, the nest is squished with added bodies. No wonder she's not the warm and fuzzy person you expected or wished for. And as far as the expectations, just like I told my future husband when he and his 14 year old daughter moved in with me. "My relationship with her will form organically. I don't know if I'll be a motherly figure, a friend, or a female mentor. Don't push us into what you think we should be."

    If you never have the relationship you want with her, find what you're seeking from someone else. There are always elderly people in nursing homes who might welcome regular visits rom volunteers.

    In the meantime, I hope you and your bf plan on moving out soon. Everyone involved will be happier with that arrangement, and who knows. Your mother-in-law's mood might improve and she might be friendlier with you. Take care.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Jubliee
    Iíve been living under her roof for about 5 years now
    Why are you living with his mom? If you are old enough to live together, you are old enough for your own place. What a miserable arrangement!

  4. 01-19-2020, 01:58 AM

  5. #14
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jubliee
    I feel like I am not wanted by my boyfriend mom. Since we started dating I feel like she never liked me. It started when she didnít like me because I was never open (I deal with depression and anxiety) or I would just stick to myself. I have been living with them for the past 5 years. She chooses days on when to like me & when not to like me.. when Iím home she doesnít include me in lunches if there are ordering or when dinner is ready, everyone is called except me like Iím invisible. I would try to hug her at times & she would not hug back. I would kiss her ďhi, byeĒ & she would not kiss back. When I walk into the house from work, she doesnít even care that I came home to say hi. But when my boyfriend brother girlfriend comes in.. sheís so quick to give her hugs & kisses. She doesnít acknowledge me.. i try to ask her why didnít kiss me back.. her excuse is because a 2 month old baby hurt her check.. which is an excuse. I try taking to her on how she treats me & what bothers me & she just throws excuses at me.. idk if Iím just overreacting or itís my depression.. i just want to feel accepted , wanted, loved.. I didnít grow up with family . I didnít grow up with my mom & dad & adopted so Iím not sure if Iím desperate feeling a motherís love
    Maybe she's just a jerk who likes seeing other people scramble for her affection. There are people like that!

    What's keeping you in this uncomfortable situation? Do you have to stay there much longer? It sounds like it's time to move on.

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  7. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jubliee
    Iíve been living under her roof for about 5 years now
    I wouldn't like anyone who lived with me for 5 years, either.

    I'd move out, whether BF wants to join me or not, and whaalaa! The relationship will magically improve. If not, it won't bother you so much because you don't need to deal with dislike in your own home.

    If you're mature enough for an adult relationship, you're mature enough to live on your own.

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