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Thread: He says he doesn’t want a relationship. Yet he make sure I notice he is still a

  1. #1
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    He says he doesn’t want a relationship. Yet he make sure I notice he is still a

    ! So he says he doesn’t want a relationship. So what else was there to do? Besides ,to except that was what he wants . As soon as I start to distant myself from him and have become totally ok with us not having a relationship. He starts acting as if we are still in a relationship. We have known each other for over 15 years. We do live together. How ever sense him saying he doesn’t wAnt a relationship, I have my things in storage and sleep on the couch. I will be moving out in a week or so. But my question is why would anyone act like they are and want to be in relationship yet say they do not want a relationship . Am I being used

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    By "acting like we are still in a relationship" do you mean he approaches you for sex?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Good you are moving out.

    My advice remains the same: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by amyjmarchi
    So he says he doesn’t want a relationship. We do live together. I have my things in storage and sleep on the couch. I will be moving out in a week or so.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry this is happening. Good you are moving out.

    My advice remains the same: [Register to see the link]
    Thank you. I appreciate your advice. I just get so confused because he is acting the way he did with me when we first go TV together. And he makes comments to me like. I should be able to know just by what I see. Then when I ask do you want a relationship he says no. He is a good guy and I would rather end it on good terms. However for him to play in my emotions to get me to not sleep on the couch or to eat dinner with him. Knowing he has not intentions of going further with a relationship . It’s making me look at him like a manipulative selfish . I have come to far in my life to be ok with any one treat me this way or even think it is ok to . Your advise helps me remember to have self respect and it is not worth being hurt over

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't let him control the climate and steer it in his direction (kicking you out and ending things...but have sex). Be very busy. Do not act like a couple. Eat out or with friends/family. Come and go randomly and do not explain anything to him. Just go about your business and treat him as a soon-to-be-former roommate.

    Do not beg for or ask about a relationship. Treat this as a breakup and don't do him any favors. No food, shopping, etc. "Good guys" don't insult you, kick you out, then expect no-strings sex or treat you like a dog they don't want around anymore
    Originally Posted by amyjmarchi
    when I ask do you want a relationship he says no. to get me to not sleep on the couch or to eat dinner with him.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Of course he's going to ask for sex if he thinks you'll say yes. And you didn't say, but I presume you've been saying "yes" hoping it will make him want the relationship back.

    That old saying about the cow and the milk comes to mind.

    Please follow through with moving out. The requests for sex and dinner will have to stop unless he asks you to go out of your way to go to his place (and you go along with it).

    Do not agree to engage in sex or providing food unless and until he tells you that he wants you back together in an actual relationship. Maintain your self respect and dignity.


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