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Thread: Feeling lonely in far away state I just moved into

  1. #1
    Gold Member
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    Feeling lonely in far away state I just moved into

    Hey folks , feeling extra lonely and sad tonight.
    So I accepted a job offer and moved into a different country a week ago.
    The place looks nice, people are friendly, but I dont know anybody here and I'm just sitting at home by myself, terribly missing my friends.
    I met a girl shortly after landing here , dated for 3 days and then today she just disappeared.
    I dont have a car yet so cant really explorer the area.
    I know things will get better , I will meet people as I go and good is yet to come , but right now i just feel like a lonely loser , never felt this way before.
    Thanks for listening, its mostly venting.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Can you do anything within walking distance? Look into MeetUps, perhaps exercise in a sports group (walking?), have local hobbies, join groups who have intellectual pursuits (if you like it), your local library has free classes and events.

    You need to get out. People won't come to you. You need to go to them.

    Then you start networking in-person. You have to start somewhere even if it's baby steps before you acquire a car.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Where can you walk to? Any groups or clubs or organizations close by? Is there a bus system? You do need to get out, and as Cherylyn says, people wont come to you, you will have to find them. Anyone at work who you can ask to join you for coffee or beer or whatever?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Yep, one of my coworkers pointed out to me that people are not going to knock on my door asking if I want to be friends and hang out. You have to go where the people are.

    Are Uber or Lyft not a thing where you live?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Use the Internet to explore local events, classes and meet up groups. Then use Uber, Lyft, busses or a rental car to get there. Use your phone to stay in touch with people from home. Brainstorm with them ways to fix up your new place, and then go shopping for things to make your new home feel like home. Take pictures and send them to the people who've inspired you.

  7. #6

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    I know how you feel, OP, I'm in a similar situation myself. So far, I've had the most success with making new friends by being the friend I'd want. I know it sounds cheesy. But bring in treats to work, buy a coffee for someone, be a listening ear. If you continue to do this, people will really warm up to you, I promise. It may feel bad right now, but it won't last. Good times will come, and though you'll never replace your old friends, you will have new ones who are unique and special to you. Don't give up 😊


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