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Thread: Message to ex with Cancer

  1. #21
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    With that being said, I'ts good to hear you are going to stick to no contact however I still think its worth your while seeing someone to figure out why you would go on holiday with someone you now would abuse you while there and why you feel guilty enough to want to send him that message. A healthy person would have not had an urge, desire or thought of doing either.[/QUOTE]

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Lady D
    With that being said, I'ts good to hear you are going to stick to no contact however I still think its worth your while seeing someone to figure out why you would go on holiday with someone you now would abuse you while there and why you feel guilty enough to want to send him that message. A healthy person would have not had an urge, desire or thought of doing either.
    [/QUOTE]

    Yes, I was in denial for a long time about his abuse, I actually went on that holiday believing he'd atone and act differently on the holiday but that was far from the truth
    Considering a Counsellor at the moment you'll be pleased to hear, I totally get what you mean about people pleasing to a ridiculous degree
    thanks so much for your plain speaking, needed to hear it, XXX

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I didn't want to say it here, it's like I wanted to whisper it on the forum and almost ashamed to write it but I do have a bit of doubt around it
    I had a sneaking suspicion. I've seen this type of manipulative behavior before and it usually comes from someone who is already abusive in some form.

    It could very well be a ploy to try to make you feel guilty and to manipulate you. Since you aren't sure either, it's best NOT to send any kind of letter.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I had a sneaking suspicion. I've seen this type of manipulative behavior before and it usually comes from someone who is already abusive in some form.

    It could very well be a ploy to try to make you feel guilty and to manipulate you. Since you aren't sure either, it's best NOT to send any kind of letter.
    Thanks SherrySher, he is actually still working full time and very long hours, truth be told, I think you may be right though I hate to say it and think it
    I won't send anything, don't you worry lol
    I hope he is making it up, it's very sick but I wouldn't wish cancer upon him
    I'm better off praying from a distance for this guy
    XXX

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Yes, I was in denial for a long time about his abuse, I actually went on that holiday believing he'd atone and act differently on the holiday but that was far from the truth
    Considering a Counsellor at the moment you'll be pleased to hear, I totally get what you mean about people pleasing to a ridiculous degree
    thanks so much for your plain speaking, needed to hear it, XXX[/QUOTE]

    Good to hear. Best wishes in your recovery with the help of your therapist.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Lady D
    Thank you jul-els, I think that's what I will do
    He hasn't corresponded with me at all since, my text would not be a reply, I would be making the first move
    It was on the holiday he told me about it
    Me making the first move would probably be even more hurtful than if I was replying!
    Appreciate your kind help with this XX
    I understand. Definitely do not reply or speak to him again under any circumstances. Cut him completely out of your life and move on with your own.

  8. #27
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    He wasn't really normal, he said, on the holiday " if I jumped off this boat, you'd get the blame and they'd question you " so yes, he could be manipulative to an extreme X

  9. #28
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You sound like a very sweet lady. You don't need a man like this to continue to abuse you and take advantage of your kind heart.

    You know he's abusive and you know that he's been terrible to you.
    Those are reasons enough to never look back.

    Try to do whatever you can to get this man out of your mind. Heal, move forward. Allow better for yourself.

  10. #29
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    Thank you very much ThatwasThen, bless you X

  11. #30
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    Thank you jul-els, I'm doing well, just started a nursing Masters which I'm really into, so I will continue to focus upon that
    I really appreciate your words of encouragement! Love, Lady D XX

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