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Thread: Is my boss interested?

  1. #11
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    This is someone's husband....are you okay with that?
    No I am not ok with it. I am not interested. Additionally, my husband left me for one of his employees so even though I would already never ďdateĒ a married man that just added more of an incentive to never do it. I needed perspective to see what I was doing wrong or how I can fix the situation.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's time to round out and fill up your life. That means spending more time with friends and family, taking some classes and courses, joining some groups and clubs, volunteering, etc.

    You should be dashing out of work at quitting time because you have to go to the gym or meet up with a friend or have a class to go to or are going on a date. Get into that schedule and stop hanging around hoping for your boss y to keep you busy.

    Your life is way too empty and you are allowing your boss to fill up that void. You are lonely and he keeps you company by assigning nonsense to you and sadly you are allowing that and avoiding life and moving forward. No. He is not interested in you. Immediately stop doing these favors for your boss.
    Originally Posted by ClearDay24
    my husband left me for one of his employees. how I can fix the situation.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I wouldn't delve into playing mind police. That's a sign of needing a more interesting focus, so I'd start by examining why this 'must' be important to me. As long as the guy remains respectful and appropriate, credit him with the same degree of professionalism you've enjoyed for 11 years. If his behavior ever makes you uncomfortable, decide whether it's worth telling him that, and if not, then skip projecting 'meaning' onto the guy, and start focusing instead on your own work/life balance. Find interests in your life beyond work, and put the boundaries in place that will support you in pursuing that.

  4. #14
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    You need to instill boundaries and create a life outside of work. This is unacceptable.

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  6. #15
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    He asks about your life because he has known you for 11 years and its not weird to ask how a concert was, or make small talk. I think he asked about things before, but you are just noticing them now. I would do like the others say and if he piles on work at the last minute say "i will finish this in the morning". its one thing to stay half an hour to finish something you started earlier in the day, but set boundaries with other stuff

  7. #16
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone else, you need to set more boundaries with the touching, the working late, etc. I think I would lose my $#^& if a male boss or coworker was touching my back as I was leaving a room together...so not appropriate. I think you also need a break from over loading yourself with work.......go and do nice things for yourself. Have a mental health day, and invite a GF to a spa day, sip mimosas in your fluffy white bath robes.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    How about joining a local Meetup group? I have made some amazing friends through them and we socialise regularly.
    Also stop sharing so much personal stuff at work.
    I work in a very similar situation to you, there is only 10 of us as well, I am the only female, and I have been here 16 years
    I am divorced too, my ex cheated, then married his PA.
    I never chat with my Boss about my personal life. We will discuss our adult children, movies, tv shows, but that is it.
    You really need to put a barrier between your work & home life.

  9. #18
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    Also, a touch of the hand or back can convey care and concern as well - if you went through a rough patch, consider it also that it may not convey "interest" like you think. I would ask yourself, if your boss was an 80 year old woman and did the same thing - would you feel differently and not label this touch sexual. Or your relative. Still, no one should touch you when you don't want to be, but i really think its a leap that your boss is attracted and interested. he DOES want "one thing" - and that is for you to work overtime to get more work out of you because you are totally willing.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    One of the employees in the department I supervise likes to hug me nearly every day. I am not a hugger, but he wants everyone to like him. He's like a puppy in some ways, just leaping around hoping someone pets him. It's not entirely professional but I understand this is a need he has so I tolerate the hugs.

    One thing I can say for sure is he is NOT "interested".

    Does your boss give only you this kind of attention? And are you the only one who makes herself available "24/7"?

    Maybe he's on some forum somewhere asking "Is my employee interested"?

  11. #20
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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