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Thread: Guy Stop Texting After 2 Great Dates

  1. #1
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    Guy Stop Texting After 2 Great Dates

    I had a great first date with a guy a week and a half ago. Someone normal and nice, very funny. We had great chemistry. He kept saying how nice and normal I was. (We met on online dating) He walked me to my car, gave me a big hug and peck on the lips. That night he texted me saying how much fun he had and he didn’t want to leave. The next day he was texting me all day, and continued to texted me all week, good morning etc, making jokes, it was nice. He initiated every time and I followed.

    We went out again last Thursday. We had a lot of fun, had drinks and apps. He texted me the next morning and continued to text me all day Friday. Then Saturday and Sunday, I heard nothing. It was fine because I had plans all weekend, and he knew that, but I just noticed all of a sudden the communication slowed down. Not a big deal.

    Monday I texted “how was your weekend” and we went back and forth a couple times, he said he was working Saturday then came down with the stomach bug. But there was no charming jokes or flirting, probably cause he was sick.

    Then I texted yesterday a quick “I hope you are feeling better”, no need for an answer or anything, just being nice. He texted back “little bit, I had a root canal yesterday and I’m really achy.” I texted back a quick joke and haven’t heard back. I’m afraid he’s not interested anymore, which is strange because he’s been acting like he was interested all last week. I know I should give him the benefit of the doubt but I just thought maybe he was making up excuses. I decided not to get in touch again.

    Do guys normally change their tune so suddenly? Am I making too much of it? I guess I worry because I had a bad experience recently and I finally want something good to happen in my love life. And he seemed promising and there’s so many weirdos out there. And it’s my birthday tomorrow and I wish I had a nice guy to take me out or wish me happy birthday. Maybe I’m just feeling bad for myself!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Any chance he has a wife or live in girlfriend who works Monday through Friday and he couldn't text you because she was at home for the weekend?

    I hate to be that cynical but I can't help but notice his vanishing act took place while people with office or corporate jobs are typically off for the weekend.

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    Hmm well he’s divorced 3 years and lives by himself (as far as I know lol). He’s got 3 kids but they’re older (teens and college age). They live with their mom but come over a lot. I know he hasn’t dated much since his divorce— he told me he tried online dating when they first got divorced but had bad experiences so he stopped. He’s been out of the dating game for a long time. Our first date was a Sunday afternoon. So anyway I’m guessing there’s no live in wife or girlfriend.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Perhaps multi dating? Had a date with someone else over the weekend?

    It wouldn't really be wrong if he was multi dating.

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  6. #5
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    Yes I thought maybe he had another date, which is fine. And I’m still on the dating site as well. (But haven’t gone on any more dates since him, but have been chatting with people.) I guess I just hoped since we had such a great time that he’d continue his consistency, you know?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Well you said he was sick and then had a root canal. That would be enough to slow down anyone!

    Perhaps he is dating other women. You can be patient or move on.

  8. #7
    Silver Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    Maybe he is just one of those people who like to be left alone when they are sick?

    Give him the benefit of the doubt. It's only been a week and a half ago.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DaisyMayPorter
    Do guys normally change their tune so suddenly?
    What I like to focus on, for what it's worth, is my own tune. Meaning: if I'm still interested in someone, I own that and find comfort in that, even in these uncomfortable moments.

    So whether he's just down and out from the stomach bug and root canal combo—enough to level just about anyone—or whether his own tune is changing isn't really important. Time will answer is pretty clearly, so you can choose that time deciding to be patient or unnerved. I say go with the former. Odds are that if you got into a relationship with him, or any man, there's going to be a moment (or a thousand) where someone being patient with you will be appreciated. So be that person now, regardless of where these chips fall.

    My few cents.

  10. #9
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    Hey happy birthday :)

    I think being that it's only a week and a half, you should continue to date other people. Also, maybe hang out with your friends today? If it were my bday I wouldn't wanna celebrate it with a stranger...It's weird.

    I'd perhaps wanna celebrate it if he and I were dating two plus months, but you shouldn't be wanting to do that with someone u don't even know.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DaisyMayPorter
    Do guys normally change their tune so suddenly?
    Yes and it goes for both sexes. I've heard tons of similar stories by friends (both male and female) who've been doing the online dating thing for years. I myself have had a couple of similar experiences, too.

    My advice is not to wait around for anyone. If he wants to see you again, fine. If you're still interested, you meet him. Meanwhile, keep meeting others and don't overthink things. Don't forget this guy is practically a stranger.

    Enjoy your birthday!

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