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Thread: Guy Stop Texting After 2 Great Dates

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    There are a few possible reasons:

    1) he's just not into you

    2) he's crazy.

    3) he really is sick



    Until you have a hook - until they fall in love, they can disappear at any moment. Don't count on anything for the first two months.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    There are a few possible reasons:

    1) he's just not into you

    2) he's crazy.

    3) he really is sick



    Until you have a hook - until they fall in love, they can disappear at any moment. Don't count on anything for the first two months.
    It sounds so sad doesnít it that you ďcanít count on anything for the first two monthsĒ??

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DaisyMayPorter
    It sounds so sad doesnít it that you ďcanít count on anything for the first two monthsĒ??
    Dating is not for the faint of heart.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, ball is in his court. If he eventually responds/wants to go out again, great if not you can see others.
    Originally Posted by DaisyMayPorter
    I texted back a quick joke and havenít heard back. I decided not to get in touch again.

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  6. #25
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    What you can count on before exclusivity is that if there is a time and place plan for another date there is another date. If there is none there is no next date and if and when he calls or you two plan another date, then there will be one but don't "wait" - move on at that very moment. After exclusivity I think it's reasonable to expect that until one or both of you decide to break things off you'll see each other regularly (with exceptions depending on distance/work/family, etc) and you won't be looking to date others or be dating others.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Happy birthday!

    I agree with others- see what happens and decide then.

    I know how feel, thinking maybe you missed out on someone great. but maybe you dodged a flake that doesn't know what he wants.

    it took me a long time to realize:
    1. no answer is an answer.
    2. guys are simple. we all are... when intetested it's clear. (game playing is not interested)
    3. rejection doesn't have to sting. we can choose to look at it from a more abundant point of view- no matter how great someone seems, there are better ones out there.
    4. we desrve someone that thinks we're great and will cause to stop looking....

    have a great time on your birthday! who knows! happiness attracts... maybe there will be some cute guys!

    Stay open! lightening could strike!

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Dating is not for the faint of heart.
    No itís not

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Happy birthday!

    I agree with others- see what happens and decide then.

    I know how feel, thinking maybe you missed out on someone great. but maybe you dodged a flake that doesn't know what he wants.

    it took me a long time to realize:
    1. no answer is an answer.
    2. guys are simple. we all are... when intetested it's clear. (game playing is not interested)
    3. rejection doesn't have to sting. we can choose to look at it from a more abundant point of view- no matter how great someone seems, there are better ones out there.
    4. we desrve someone that thinks we're great and will cause to stop looking....

    have a great time on your birthday! who knows! happiness attracts... maybe there will be some cute guys!

    Stay open! lightening could strike!
    I agree with you Lambert and thank you for your point of view! He mentioned how itís taken him a long time to get back into dating, and I think he might be hesitant to get into a relationship, and thatís fine. And maybe I did dodge a bullet. He does seem to have a lot going on with his kids and everything so I wonít take anything personally. I read somewhere that when you are ghosted, more often than not, it has nothing to do with you but rather with the other person.

    I was watching a video of this dating coach on YouTube recently who said that guys should be auditioning for us women, lol, and if you find yourself tap dancing for someone, get out of the situation right now. The right guy will never make you wonder. :-)

  10. #29
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like you got caught up a bit in too much too soon too early on.

    Guy telling you that your a so normal on your first date is hardly a compliment, it's a bit of a red flag about him actually. The over the top bombarding you with texting all day, etc, etc, etc - again bit of a red flag. Ditto for the instant relationshippy behavior like texting you good morning/good night. You aren't even dating yet.

    Basically, this sort of avalanche of intense attention should raise some caution flags in your mind and make you slow down a bit. First of all it's usually indicative of unhealthy burn hot fast/burn out fast dating patterns. Second, even if genuine excitement/exuberance, it's not the kind of behavior that can be realistically sustained and when it isn't sustained it leaves you feeling bummed out. It's addictive and went straight to your head. Beware of that because lots of creeps use this approach. Not saying he is one, just that you need to slow your roll and be more aware that lots of fast attention is something you need to pump the brakes on instead of drinking it all up.

    So when you slow down and back away, all you have is some guy you don't know. You have no idea if he is good or not, nice or not, sane or not, that you had a couple of dates with. The dates seemed nice, but that's all. You don't actually know him, you don't know his life, you can't even gauge if he is telling the truth about health issues or lying to you. After two dates, you really have nothing so far. So, sit back, keep talking going out with others, if this one surfaces and turns out he was sick, you can proceed. If he disappears, oh well. All part of dating.

    For your own sanity, be a little less thirsty for attention and you'll find dating much easier as a result. Easier to cut through bs at any rate.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Sounds to me like you got caught up a bit in too much too soon too early on.

    Guy telling you that your a so normal on your first date is hardly a compliment, it's a bit of a red flag about him actually. The over the top bombarding you with texting all day, etc, etc, etc - again bit of a red flag. Ditto for the instant relationshippy behavior like texting you good morning/good night. You aren't even dating yet.

    Basically, this sort of avalanche of intense attention should raise some caution flags in your mind and make you slow down a bit. First of all it's usually indicative of unhealthy burn hot fast/burn out fast dating patterns. Second, even if genuine excitement/exuberance, it's not the kind of behavior that can be realistically sustained and when it isn't sustained it leaves you feeling bummed out. It's addictive and went straight to your head. Beware of that because lots of creeps use this approach. Not saying he is one, just that you need to slow your roll and be more aware that lots of fast attention is something you need to pump the brakes on instead of drinking it all up.

    So when you slow down and back away, all you have is some guy you don't know. You have no idea if he is good or not, nice or not, sane or not, that you had a couple of dates with. The dates seemed nice, but that's all. You don't actually know him, you don't know his life, you can't even gauge if he is telling the truth about health issues or lying to you. After two dates, you really have nothing so far. So, sit back, keep talking going out with others, if this one surfaces and turns out he was sick, you can proceed. If he disappears, oh well. All part of dating.

    For your own sanity, be a little less thirsty for attention and you'll find dating much easier as a result. Easier to cut through bs at any rate.
    Iím not thirsty for attention, and did find it a bit odd that he was texting so much so soon. Iíve had this happen with guys before and usually tell them to slow down or just block them if they get creepy or are texting way too much for my liking. Itís happened many times with online dating, they get a little too relationshipy and we havenít even met yet!! I call it a text - relationshipó they text and text and donít ask me out, so I then end up blocking them if no date is made after a few days. In this case, we met, and he was texting me after the first meetingó he wasnít creepy, he was funny, normal (as far as I know), and even though it was more texting then I normally like, I just went with it, but didnít text back every single time. For example he told me he was going in to the gym without me asking or wondering, and I made fun of him for telling me that... he got my joke and I think he understood he doesnít need/shouldnít be texting so much.

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