Rajwinder Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Hey! I am in desperate need of advice that should i ask my swimming instructor out or not, he is really charming and being a girl should i go for it or not, its just i am jot really sure if he is interested and we don’t talk about anything else but the lessons and i don’t even know if he is single or not.... so can anyone tell me what to do in this situation Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Wait until your lessons are finished then say "hey, your girlfriend must be a lucky girl, you were a great instructor, thanks." If he says he doesn't have a girlfriend, then say "in that case would you like to go for a drink or a bite to eat?" and then wait to see what he says. If he just says "thanks" then don't ask him out and do whatcha gotta do mentally to squash your crush. I trust he's not a lot older than you?? Link to comment
Rajwinder Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 Thanks for that reply and he is of my age or probably a couple a year younger. I am 27, i hope age is not an issue Link to comment
Rajwinder Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 Thank you for replying and i am 27 he’s probably couple a year younger or my age i am bad at guessing and yeah i’ll try that. I hope age doesn’t change anything Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Age doesn't change anything... Good luck, let us know what you do and how it turns out. Hopefully you'll get some more suggestions as well. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Nope. Nope. Nope. Did I say nope? If it was the reverse and you were a man asking a woman who you only have seen in a bathing suit out, you would be considered a little creepy (unless you met in Hawaii). Or HE can think he is coming across inappropriate. If you always ended up sitting around chatting after class on stuff other than the lesson, other swimming topics or the venue, i might say different. Like a "i enjoyed the class. Hope that we get to see eachother again sometime..." I am sure if he's handsome, other women have hit on him as well Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 btw, if you ONLY talk about lessons wth him, he isn't interested. If he was interested, but only wasn't because he's your instructor, he WOULD try to break the ice and talk about something - something that would not be construed as flirting but smalltalk at least to see where it went. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 btw, if you ONLY talk about lessons wth him, he isn't interested. If he was interested, but only wasn't because he's your instructor, he WOULD try to break the ice and talk about something - something that would not be construed as flirting but smalltalk at least to see where it went. As her instructor, I think he would be reluctant to make small talk. That's why are suggested she wait until after her lessons are finished and it would end their 'teacher'/'student' relationship. An "instructor" rarely makes small talk while instructing. She's got nothing to lose if she were to ask him out. It takes confidence and a "no pain, not gain" attitude to risk rejection ~ guys do it everyday. Link to comment
j.man Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Are you paying him? It puts someone in an awkward situation if their livelihood is at least in part contingent on providing you services for an income, and then having to assert his professionalism and hisown reputation in a way that doesn't shoot your ego down or make you so uncomfortable you won't come back. As TWT initially suggested, there's obviously no harm in asking once all your classes with him are over. But I know that back when I was training, my gut always sank whenever a current client hit on me or asked me out, even if I found them attractive (didn't take former clients on principle regardless). As a general life policy, I never solicited women who are in a disadvantaged position to say no. And I always appreciated the same courtesy coming my way. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I agree with j.man. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Link to comment
Rajwinder Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 Thank you guys for the advice and i have decided not to do it. Thanks again, i am a troll!!!!! Link to comment
Keyman Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Thanks again, i am a troll!!!!! Obviously not a good one. Link to comment
Rajwinder Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 Obviously not a good one. Yes sir you are very right about that Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 No, date other boys in your school. I am in desperate need of advice that should i ask my swimming instructor out or not Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Ask him out if you have to, but be aware you open yourself up to rejection. I usually recommend women not do it - why bother, why risk rejection when the guy will usually do it anyway? As an instructor, I'm sure he's confident and meets plenty of women. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Are you paying him? It puts someone in an awkward situation if their livelihood is at least in part contingent on providing you services for an income, and then having to assert his professionalism and hisown reputation in a way that doesn't shoot your ego down or make you so uncomfortable you won't come back. As TWT initially suggested, there's obviously no harm in asking once all your classes with him are over. But I know that back when I was training, my gut always sank whenever a current client hit on me or asked me out, even if I found them attractive (didn't take former clients on principle regardless). As a general life policy, I never solicited women who are in a disadvantaged position to say no. And I always appreciated the same courtesy coming my way. 100% this!!!!! Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Obviously not a good one. 100% this. The story was very ordinary. If you are going to troll, pick an outrageous scenario so we could at least be entertained. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.