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Thread: Being single in your late 20s

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    ...if you can get comfortable in your own skin and notice your own resilience in tough times ... a healthy, loving partner will thank you and admire you even more.
    Yep. There's no hiding the vibe of desperation in trying to 'win' a new lover. That requires pasting on a personality that hides the lack of confidence lurking underneath the facade. The problem is, anybody who's healthy enough to be good relationship material can see right through that. So dating from a place that's trying to latch onto somebody to avoid being alone is a lose/lose. It attracts only people with the same motivation, and then two unhealthy people are trying to use one another to feel whole.

    Those relationships fail, eventually, because nobody else can supply us with the foundation we haven't learned how to give to ourselves. When the masks come off, somebody or both people feel ripped off, and the blame starts flying and you're back in alone-soup.

    So embrace being alone now, and learn how to love it. That's the self love that can withstand rejection, because all rejection means is that someone else didn't own the capacity to see and appreciate your unique value. Well? That's going to be most people, because simpatico is rare--it's supposed to be rare. If true love were not rare, what would be so special about it?

  2. #12
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    Your 20s is nothing!!! I got made single at 38 and there still options, yes less than if i was 10 years younger but honestly no need to panic.

    I'd be out there meeting as many people as i could at yout age.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I got divorced in my mid 30s and it was like a freaking candy store. I was almost overwhelmed. I had been with my husband since I was a teenager and I didn't know how to date lol.

    You are in your prime. If you can realize this and enjoy the cornucopia, you will find yourself having fun instead of stressing out over some arbitrary timeline.

  4. #14
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    It is easy to compare yourself to others regardless of age. Ive read people here in their teens worried if they are going to be single forever because all of their friends have partners. Then on the other side youll have people that are older wondering if they are on the right path or thinking back if their decisions were right. As long as you compare yourself to others, this will be a never ending battle.
    Remember.. everyone is on their own path and there is no rule saying you have to be at point J by a certain age. Life, love, and happiness is not a race or a game. You don't get extra points for being with a GF or BF before someone else.
    Your goal is to not find someone you can be with someone you can be with, its to find someone you cant be without. I can tell you a secret.. not all of your friends in a relationship are happy. Just look at the postings here on this site. Proof that being with someone equals being the happiest person I the world.
    We teach people how we want to be treated by how we treat ourselves. If you don't take the time to make you happy, how would you expect someone else to make you happy? If you don't know how to make you happy, then how can you make others happy? A big part of life is knowing who you are and loving who you are. We all have our faults, we are not perfect, we all make mistakes, and that's okay.
    Don't dwell on your X. They are on their own path and you wish them well and have a good life. It is time to focus in on your path, and what it takes to make you happy. Once you smile, others will take notice and be curious as to why you are so happy.

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