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Thread: I feel like my old best friend isn't letting go of the past?

  1. #1
    Member katyfran45's Avatar
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    I feel like my old best friend isn't letting go of the past?

    Hello, so I have come across something that I feel like is towards me and I want to see what people think about the situation. Anyways, some background info.. I was friends with this one girl since the 7th grade. In the past year I noticed a huge change from her. We actually went to the same college together for a year. We did everything together and she was a good friend for a long time. However, she ended up with the wrong crowd and that changed her. She suddenly became resentful and she would always criticize everything I did. It would hurt me and I tried to talk to her about it but she never owned up to her mistakes, she never even apologized to me. She didn't know that she was hurting me emotionally. She even defended the people that have bullied me or treated me badly. She basically turned her back on me. I ended up becoming sick of it. So, I began to move on and ignore her because I didn't want any part of it. I even moved back home to get away from that college. I didn't have a good experience there and it was also very expensive. Anyways, I haven't spoken to her since October. I decided to send her a text asking her how she was. And she said, "I thought you were done with me" and I said "No, I am not, just busy". I then tried to reach out to her again but discovered that her phone number doesn't work or maybe she blocked my number. I am not sure. Flash forward to today, and I had this sudden urge to look up her old facebook because I was curious and wanted to see how she was doing. All I saw was that she changed her profile picture to a message in Spanish that read, "If you miss me, just remember I was not the one to leave, it was you who let me go".. Honestly, I feel a little hurt. No, I am not going to contact her about it. I honestly feel like she is playing the victim here. I think what she posted was a little passive aggressive. And I know that she knows that I would see that because I go on facebook all of the time and we had a long friendship. I feel like that was towards me. She used to try to make me feel bad for moving back home and leaving her at the college, and she would beg me to stay. Anyways, I just wanted to know, was it right for me to move on like I did? I was surely not going to put up with her bullcrap anymore. Does it look like she is playing the victim? I find it sad that ignorant people like her suddenly villianize me for ignoring her and moving on. Anyways, I know neither of us are innocent in this situation. She treated me like crap and I decided to move on instead of fighting back and i guess that makes me look bad? I don't know.. Should I be feeling hurt like this? I need advice. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You are tormenting yourself for no reason I can see. Time to block and delete this person from facebook and your life. She has moved on in her life and you need to continue to do that but you wont until you stop looking at her fb page and wondering why she did and said what she did. It doesnt matter. People come and go from our lives all the time. You two outgrew each other. Please move on from this, it's bogging you down and it doesnt need to.

    I also think you are not letting go of the past.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to make new friends by getting involved in things that interest you. Join some clubs and groups and sports. Take some extra courses, work a side job, volunteer. People change, friendships change. No one owes you friendship.

    If she is someone you don't feel good about, leave her alone and find people you have more in common with. You need to stop stalking her.

    Get to a doctor for an evaluation and a therapist for some ongoing support. Delusions of Reference (google it) could indicate some underlying medical problem.
    Originally Posted by katyfran45
    I even moved back home to get away from that college. I didn't have a good experience there and it was also very expensive.

    I decided to send her a text asking her how she was.
    I then tried to reach out to her again but discovered that her phone number doesn't work or maybe she blocked my number.
    I had this sudden urge to look up her old facebook

  4. #4
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Sounds like your life revolved too much around this person and for too long. Childhood friendships are one thing, but when they turn into dependencies, they don't usually end well. Skip the focus on her, and opt for resilience and a focus on finding a new school and new friends. You'll thank yourself later.

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  6. #5
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    Why would you poke the hornet's nest with a text and then lie about not being done with her? You were done with her.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You aren't done with friendship if you are investing a lot of time worrying about it, worrying about what she thinks and worrying about how it might make you look.
    Only two people know the truth. Your experience is different than hers, but in the end you say there is nothing to return to anyway.
    Just leave it be. Working on detaching at all levels. Only then are really done and moved on.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How do you know her post was about you?


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