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Thread: Help!

  1. #31
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maew
    Except that they aren't married or even living together.
    Yes I realize. I was commenting on what Dr. Phil said.

    Staying with someone through sickness and health is not the same as being their caregiver.
    No one said it was the same, I'm just saying.

    Caregiver burnout is extremely common in these scenarios.
    Yes, I was my father's medical and financial caregiver and it isn't a cake walk. I did it because I love him and he was so against strangers doing for him and going into nursing home.

    My grandfather in law was cared for by his wife 24x7 for many years without a break until his family finally put their foot down and hired someone to take care of him.
    Yes that's ideal. Sadly not everyone has siblings to help out or the resources to have someone else care for our loved ones. I think in this case, Op's boyfriend has both so she should just speak up if she is at all worried about doing for him. Let the chips of her decision fall where they may.


    Not everyone has the financial means BUT.... if a person can find a way, shuffle expenses, find community resources, get family assistance etc. hiring a professional, even part time, is a must in these scenarios.
    Well, its ideal but not always a possibility and many cultures expect their loved ones to do the job of caring for them in their old age.

    Op is worried that her services won't be reciprocated if she needs care so if she hasn't already made arrangements with her lawyer for her care, then she should be doing that now and making sure whatever financial resources she has can be used to hire someone to do for her. She shouldn't assume or even expect him/them to take care of her. I think so far op has been volunteering and now his family have come to expect it.

  2. #32
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    Would he do the same if the situation were reversed? I think not, according to the conditions he implemented.

    The family needs to take over.

    Are you working?

  3. #33
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    This is serious:

    Clostridioides difficile (also known as C. diff) is a bacterium that causes diarrhea and colitis (an inflammation of the colon).

    Itís estimated to cause almost half a million illnesses in the United States each year.

    About 1 in 5 patients who get C. diff will get it again.

    Within a month of diagnosis, 1 in 11 people over age 65 died of a healthcare-associated C. diff infection.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Boy, when I got VRE (from a hospital!) I ordered my kids and family and friends away from me. I insisted on No Visitors because I was not going to expose my loved ones. My kids and MIL insisted on visiting anyway but I made them stay across the room and made sure they didn't touch me or handle my belongings.

    I can't imagine loving someone and expecting them to be exposed to such a serious illness.

    I have to say I feel from what you wrote that if you were the one who was ill he'd run in the opposite direction.

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  6. #35
    Member ArtLover51's Avatar
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    Update: The good news is that the culture came back negative for C-Diff! He has been at my home since Wednesday. His nephew is changing and packing the wound on weekends and his friend, who is a retired male RN, is doing that wound care M-F. His family is bringing food and has offered help in any way they can. It has all been appreciated by us. However, it does seem it is time for a conversation going forward, and it will be a difficult one to have. I truly love this man but I do have to start looking ahead. His depression is rearing itís ugly head over the course of this past week and that is concerning me as well. Iím trying to take all this, one day at a time! Thanks for all your help.

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