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Thread: I think i like my bestfriend...(both girls)..

  1. #1
    PunkwormZ's Avatar
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    I think i like my bestfriend...(both girls)..

    Hi, Im new to this so hear I go..

    So me and my bestifriend have been friends for about two years we had another friend in our group but she moved away not two long ago. My bestfriend lets call her "M", So me and M we are like Really close, by close I mean we would tell eachother everything we have the same stuff in comman. Music, drawing, colors, birthdays, etc. So me and M started being touchy feely with eachother like all the time, In school we would lock hands while we would walk, I would walk her to class and so would she. She would tell me how much she loved me and I would always say that im so lucky to have her, I would put my arm around her and she would hold my hand while doing that, Or we would do these real cute couple hugs, she would hug my waist and I would hug her neck everytime we did that I always got this warm exitend feeling in my heart.

    everyone in our school would always think we were the cutest couple in our school and they would always ask if we were dating or if we liked each other. We would usally would just laugh if off or for some reason I would blush like crazy. Most times she wouldent say anything when people asked. One time we were in the libary and i was skipping my class to hang out with M (lol) and we were cuddling like crazy!, M's whold body was slanted on my whoe cheast I felt kinda acwarkd so I moved my other arm a little but then M got my arm and put it over her, and people in the libary were just glaring and looking at us but we didnt care. We were laughing a gigling at the movie we were watching (it was really funny)



    One day M started talking about our bestfriend who moved away lets call her "E" . She was saying how E and her were on facetime and just talking (BTW E used to like M) I dont understand why but I started to feel really jelouse and I guess she saw how I was looking so she changed to subject. One weekend M and I went skating and i was really nervouse because its been a while since I skated she told me.
    M: "Its okay because I know how to skate"
    me: " okay."
    M had her hand out for me to grab and we were just skating and singing along with the music. I felt so shy and happy when I was with her, I didint want her to let go of my hand it felt so nice and warm. When we got out of the skating rink we were gigling how are hands were so sweaty I said
    me: " I was so nervouse When we were skating I didnt wanna fall"
    M: " meee tooo hahaha, this was fun though"
    me: "yeah it was".

    One of my really close friends kept saying how she thinks that me and M like eachother and was blushing and cursing her out in spanish she was just laughing and saying how me and M would be very cute together. In the morning while we were sittling down I saw M because we missed eachother so we gave eachother a really big hug it made my heart flutter I didnt want to let go of her. We sat down and was just giggling at what are friends were say in front of us I was playing with her hands on the table (i found her hand Very adorble and intresting) she then just stoped talking and looked at me for a long time and I looked up at her I blushed and looked down and stared playing with her hands agian, she then started tickling me and I was laughing and gigling then she got her two hands and put them below my waist and couldent stop laughing, then I said
    Me: "OKAY!! okay i give up"
    M: "do you really give up??"
    Me: "yes, yes , yes i doooo"
    Then we just started laughing.

    At school I got into a really big argument with this guy in my gym class because he kept calling me dumb and stupid ( I have a lot of learning disorders and mental health problems so I got really trigerd me) I started crying and yelling in the gym that it caused a big sences I kept telling him to just shut up and leave me alone and stuff, He then kept telling people how dumb I was for not know the thing he was talking about I got so trigged i started to cry when I was running to M telling her how stupied I was for not knowing a dumb show (he was talking about a show) and how I cant evan do math and get good grades she then said
    M: " you are not dumb your nowhere near dumb okay? F^ck him and what he has to say about you okay"
    Me: *still crying*
    M: "I love you.."
    Me: " i love you to"
    then she gave me a big hug I told her bye and then my teacher who was right there said
    Teacher: "Hey!?, are you okay"
    Me: "yes im fine"
    Teacher: " No you not come hear"
    She then took my to the counclers office so that I could cry, gave me tissu etc.



    A few days that I came home from school and went into my room and all my stuff was gone ( Jelwrey, posters, makeup) I went into my Moms room and asked her where all my stuff is
    Mom: " Not right now"
    Me: "what do you mean not right now?!!! YOU just TAKE stuff out of my room with out my permission??!!"
    I began to cry.
    Me: "Do i just go in your room and take whatever i want when i feel the need to???!!!"
    I started shouting for no reason saying
    Me:" I HATE THIS HOUSE F^CK THIS HOUSE I HATE EVERYONE IN IT THIS PLACE IS HELL"
    I started to cry and run down starts put my shoes and started to run outside. I ran to my stop sighn and just started crying and screaming and hitting whatever was in front of me. Cars were stoping asking if I was okay or if I needed any help I ended up screaming and saying " JUST LEAVE ME THE F^CK ALONE" my sister went out side to come and get me and tell me to come back inside and my dad ended up picking me and my sister up and getting us something to eat, We then came back home. I locked my self inside my room and started crying.


    The next day I had school and I had little small blisters on my hand from hitting a stop sighn. Me and my bestfriend got into a huge arrgument and it made me so depressed and sad, the next day was valintines day (my birthday) and I went to the store and got her almost evrything in the store. I hated myself for being so senstive aabout everything.


    the next day I sat down by her and gave her a really big hug and told her how sarry I was for putting all my anger on her she said she was sorry to and we huged and opend our gifts ( i was crying). After that week I didnt see her she was in school but went with her friend to the libary I started crying and thought that she abanded me and didnt want to see me she then poped up behing me and started tickling me I pushed her hands away and turnd around and she saw the tears in my eyes and said
    M: " whats wrong why are you crying?"
    I could hear the worry in her voice when she said that but i didnt want to talk
    Me: "nothing just leave me alone"
    And I just walked away crying

    I got home from school and textd her and told her what was bothering me she said she was really sorry. The next day at school i told her its okay if she didnt want to be bestfriends anymore she then said something that made my heart Flutter
    Me: " are you sure you want to be friends with me with all my family drama"?
    M: " as long as i have you i dont care"
    we then huged for a really long time and i said " I love you." then she" said I love you to"




    Im really sorry for the really long story haha.. I'll try not to do that. anyway thanks for reading .. Please give me you Opion on all of this. :)




    PunkwormZ . Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Are you sure you are ready to take this to the next level? Even tho she is supportive, the drama would eventually kill a romantic relationship. Sounds like you need to have some personal things dealt with first. I never thought of going to a school counselor, and when I think of it now, I wish I had. Start making appointments to see your school counselor. It will help a lot, and they also can set you up with a group, where you can go and feel safe to talk about things that are going on between you and your friend.

    I can't stress this enough...you must get your stuff sorted out as to not "depend" on your friend to carry your emotional load. It's called codependency. Not a healthy way to start a relationship.

  3. #3
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    How old are you? Young girls will say they love eachother and hug eachother like that and its not sexual. My young cousin (17) and her female friends all comment on social media "Presh!" (precious) My Bae, no fair you are hotter than me. you're so pretty, Love you hearts, etc.

    I think depending on your age and culture, your friend very well is NOT attracted to you sexually. She just feels emotionally close. There are cultures where even grown men who are straight hold hands -- its a sign of friendship - its not sexual. Also in some cultures there is more touching and less personal space and there is physical affection - hand holding, hugging, etc more than some are used to as well.

    I agree with Smackie that you should find another outlet for your feelings besides the friend -- make other friends, see a counselor, write in a diary - whatever it may be.

  4. 03-01-2020, 09:15 PM


  5. #4
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    As for your friend - she is obviously very fond of you, too. I can't speculate as to whether she has deeper feelings than friendship, though I wouldn't rule it out.

    However, if you don't have effective tools for managing your feelings (in general) and are prone to significant outbursts, I fear that dating is going to be very difficult for you. It comes with a lot of ups and downs, and the way you're reacting to upset right now is likely only going to be magnified when you fall in love and face the typical challenges relationships bring. I would therefore also encourage you to get some compassionate and consistent help in managing your emotions. That needs to be addressed before you consider dating anyone, or it will be turbulent as you navigate love and relationships.

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ask a trusted adult such as a counselor to help you. If you think there is bullying at school or dysfunction at home say so rather than telling every one off and being your own worst enemy. Ask your parents to take you to a doctor for an evaluation and referral to a therapist.

    In a doctors or therapist office, everything is confidential and they won't tell your parents. As far as friends at school, focus on grades, sports, clubs, groups etc. Do not keep trying to do things for attention. As long as you decide to be oppositional and defiant, cutting off your nose to spite your face, no one can help you and you'll just keep feeling worse. It sounds like you need some trusted decent adults to talk to.

  7. #6
    Member eldorm's Avatar
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    Iím not sure about how teenage girls behave. Not more than what I saw growing up. Girls likes to hold hands and say cute stuff to eachother. It does not always mean they are in love, it can also be a deep friendship.

    If youíre interested in her, tell her! If she just likes you as a friend, she will tell you that.

    But be aware that breaking the magic circle can be the end of your cuddles and holding hands. IF she becomes frightened and pulls back.

    I told my best friend at age 12 she was the cutest girl in school. That was the end of our friendship. We never talked again.

    It feels great to be in love. It is also scary because you are vulnerable. You leave your heart in the hands of someone else and hope they will take it and give their heart back to you.

    My advise to you is that you talk to your friend. AND you need to do something about the bullying. My son was bullied in school. It has made deep scars in his soul that still affects him as an adult.

    About your parents, have they explained why they did that?

  8. #7
    PunkwormZ's Avatar
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    Okay hi everyone, Thanks for putting your opinion and thoughts..on my Thread
    Also i wanted to make a few things clear
    I am not getting bullied at school, I only said that to so you guys can understand what was going on that ONE day I do not get bullied at all , Also my parents are very clear of everything going on with me including my mental health, I am seeing counclers about all that stuff so I am okay. Also Im not looking for ANY type of attention from posting this .. or doing those action I only said what was going on so that people could get a good description .. if that make sense? I really do not like being in the center of attention anyway. This whole thing was about the girl (my best friend) Not about me or my mental health/ health.
    but anyway thanks for posting your thoughts I Appreciate it also im between the age of 18-19 my grammar is just kinda bad .


    PunkwormZ


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