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Thread: Iím struggling with my sexuality. Also falling for my best friend.

  1. #1

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    Iím struggling with my sexuality. Also falling for my best friend.

    Okay... my situation might sound complicated, but Iím desperate for some outside advice. I am a 23 year old male. For the majority of my life I have been attracted to females. It wasnít until the end of high school / beginning of college when I started noticing men and finding them attractive. I began to struggle with my sexual identity and still do today. I find my attraction to both genders confusing and frustrating. Because of this, I have avoided dating or forming any kind of romantic relationships. I am also a virgin. Due to that and a few other instances in my life, I started gaining weight, having anxiety attacks and sort of fell into a depression. As of now, Iím working on my physical and mental health and lost close to 30 lbs. Although Iím improving, I still have low confidence in myself and donít even try to date. The only person I have felt comfortable discussing this with is my best friend. We have been friends since elementary school and he is openly gay, which is probably why itís so easy for me to talk to him regarding my sexuality. For the majority of our friendship, I only considered him as a friend and NOTHING more than that. But after receiving his helpful advice this past year and bonding with him on another level, I am really developing feelings for him as more than a friend. I donít believe he feels the same way about me considering he comes to me for dating advice (even though I have zero experience) and sometimes talks about his interest for other men when weíre together. Even though heís always been my best friend, recently we have become closer than ever. We talk on the phone almost every day and hang out whenever we get the chance. Itís hard for me to have these feelings because our friendship really is so rare. If I tell him my feelings and he doesnít feel the same way, it could change or even ruin our friendship. Itís hard to imagine taking that risk because I canít imagine my life without him. Okay, so basically my question is how should I embrace the reality that I probably am bisexual? And whatís the best way to deal with my feelings toward my best friend? Any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It would be best to get an evaluation from a doctor regarding your physical health and a referral to a therapist for objective advice and ongoing support.
    Originally Posted by pnmj96
    I started gaining weight, having anxiety attacks and sort of fell into a depression. As of now, Iím working on my physical and mental health and lost close to 30 lbs. Although Iím improving, I still have low confidence in myself and donít even try to date.


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