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Thread: Ex was married

  1. #21
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    You bet No1, thanks for all those words, i want to do exactly that. I have still not come to terms with myself.i want to be in a position where i don't think about her at all, the feelings if it comes by, should not make me feel sad, i don't want to hate her, i should feel nothing. That stage hasn't come yet, so not forcing into anything at the moment, taking it very very slow.Motivation is the key, you are right. i want every day to be a new day for me, hope to get through this some day.

  2. #22
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    I can tell you from experience that if you sit in your place all day and do nothing you wont accomplish your goal of not think about her. Whats the best way to forget something? Stay busy. You cant expect to sit there and think about your X and think that one day her memory will disappear. What is going on right now is this and I shall explain this to you and hope it makes sense.
    You have memories and with those memories you have emotional ties to them. Think of them as ropes or vines or strings and for every memory you have, there will be these vines or nothing attached to them. Example.. Your first kiss.. You can think about it and it will probably make you smile, but its not going to make you all emotional as when it happened. That's because the emotional vines have fallen off. Right now you have all these vines attached to your X. And by sitting there all by yourself you are keeping these vines alive and well and very fresh. So any memory you have, those emotional vines affect you. Your X cant do anything about them only you can.
    So if you get out and stay busy, youll see that the vines attached to a memory will fade and go away naturally. You cant rush it, cut it or get rid of the memory, it just has to naturally happen. I wish there was a faster way but there isn't. So to make these things dry up and fall off is to just work on you. Then youll see as time goes by youll think of your X less and less. Some days you might think of her 4 times, the next day might be 3.. then it will be once a day, then once every 2 days until you don't realize how long you have gone. And youll see the emotional vines attached to the memory will not affect you anymore as you let them dry up and fall off.
    Every one is different.. Everyone's time is different. Remember, being happy isn't a race, doesn't matter who is happy first, or who found someone else first because life doesn't work that way. What matters is that you believe in your heart that there is someone out there for you. She is waiting to meet you and the sooner you can stand up and get out of the house, the sooner you will meet her. Until that day comes.. work on you.

  3. #23
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    nicely put No1 thanks it does makes sense.

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