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Thread: Ex was married

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    The whole point of a breakup is to break up, not stay in contact. This person lied to you. What more do you need to know?

  2. #12
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    yes the same ex, the person who told me this actually was abroad for work purpose and is a former colleague of mine and stays near to her apartment, we were just catching up, she knew we were working together and randomly she asked, she wasnt aware we dated.

    when i asked her how she knows she is married, she said she met her husband many times before and they stay together there.i told her nobody knows she is married, now she is putting up all her vacation pics on her social profiles, whatsapp etc..

    i have deleted her number long back, so she showed it to me on her cell.

    anyways i didnt tell her about us , am not sure what that husband of hers will do to her if he comes to know about us, so told her we are not friends, am really not in touch with her , she has left the company and then changed the topic.

    head is ferked up so spoke to few of other close friends who knew about us as we did meet up outside office, they are also surprised that she is married, they never saw her spouse.

    i have deleted all pictures of our trip, date snaps and chats etc from my mobile and other personal systems.

    only thing remaining is a recommendation i sent her on linkedin, we are connnected and that is the only recommendation she has on her profile.

    still thinking if i block her there that recommendation will be deleted as well, not sure what to do about it.

  3. #13
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    Sheís hiding her pain and showing the world how great she is. Deep inside, she knows the truth and how much sheís hurting inside. Itís a mask. Social media is a way of masking pain. The more likes they get the more they feel validated. If the photos were of actual sites of interest - that would be different because sheís sharing what she sees. Posting photos of herself and hubby kids etc is what she wants the world to see - because she canít live with the fact that she is living a double life. And the more she does it the worse it gets for her, because deep down in her soul - she knows the truth the minute she clicks ďpostĒ. And so do you. Itís her guilt taking over. Keep strong brother. Iíve just walked away from a similar situation. So I get it. It hurts, itís confusing, dark and a horrible place to be. This too shall pass for you. As for her, she will meet her Waterloo. You dodged a bullet. Imagine being her poor husband who just blew all that cash on a vacation with a woman that was involved with you, whilst they are married. And their kids?
    If it all worked out and you ended up together It would be a disaster. A leopard doesnít change its spots. All the best my friend.

  4. #14
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    The fact that you have cut ties instead of trying to justify things to stay together speaks volumes about your character in a positive way.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She no longer works in your office? It would be best to ignore all the hearsay and discontinue following her social media.
    Originally Posted by Spawn
    now putting all lovey dovey vacation pictures on her profile and announcing to the world everything is so good with them

  7. #16
    Iím so sorry to hear this. If you need to talk, Iím here.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This not a dating site.
    Originally Posted by Suzie27
    If you need to talk, Iím here.

  9. #18
    Are you kidding me? Lmfao. Because Iím replying to a thread, Iím hitting on someone? Get over yourself dude.

  10. #19
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    well am living in silence and solitude, despise her a lot now am not sure it will ever convert to peace, have deleted the linkedin connection as well, its been almost 2 months of no contact with her.

    Have cut contact with all friends and acquaintances just dont want to hear anything about her.
    Had a hard time finding a reliable therapist

    but have started slowly to concentrate on my life, cooking, gardening and taking care of my home, meeting friends on weekends, going to office , working on projects, taking up more work etc

    watching other couples having a nice time doesnt make me unhappy any more or feel like i should be out with someone.

    finally went for movies alone, initially it felt awkward i admit but then got used to it.

    it doesnt hurt like before maybe i can get through this.

    thank you to all of you God bless

  11. #20
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    OP.. ohhhh I have been where you are today. I was in the dumps, the pits, the bottom of the biggest hole and thought why even bother getting up or out of the hole because I feared I would just be knocked down again. I gave up.. I figured that my sadness was justified and if I wanted to be sad, I have every right to feel sad and alone and cursed and that's how I thought. She was out there being happy meanwhile I was at home miserable and thought how life was not fair and it just made me feel worse.
    But you know what? If you get knocked down, you get back up. I had let my X win and beat me and was the worst part, the has no idea she was playing. So I decided no more. I stood up and dusted myself off and decided to join the rest of the world because life is going to move on with or without me, so I decided to move with it.
    You are the only one in this world that controls your own happiness. Its not your X, its not your neighbor, not your parents, your family, not your dog or fish, its you. You are the one who determines your own happiness. Right now you are allowing your X to determine that and you shouldn't because no one can make you feel miserable without your permission. So why don't you stop and take control of your happiness because happiness isn't going to come knocking at your door... You must find it.
    The thing about depression is, that if you stay in the same spot.. it will eventually find you. You are proof that its happening. You stay in, you resigned and depression found you and you are allowing it to stay like an unwanted roommate who drinks all your milk and uses all your toilet paper. You must decide what you want. No girl is going to knock on your door, Love isn't going to crawl thru your window, you must do what you have to do to find it. Think of it like this. If you break your arm. You go to the doctor, get it looked at, get a cast, take care of it. Same thing with your heart.. Its broken, so you have to take care of it until it mends. So you have to stand up, and find that guy that attracted your X. When you attracted your X, you weren't sad or swimming in your own pity pool were you? You were happy and what makes you think you cant attract another girl again? No reason why you cant attract a beautiful woman..You did it before right? Go out and do what you need to do to make you happy.
    You have all the tools, you need motivation. Today is your day. You decide if you want to be happy or do more laps in your pity pool. Choice is yours.

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