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Thread: How can I be more of a confident person? And less of a sensitive, overthinker?

  1. #11

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    How to Build Self Confidence in the Midst of None

    When you have self confidence, Everything seems easier. Self-confidence is like a solid foundation for living a life of happiness and accomplishments. Your belief about yourself determines your behaviors and achievements. When you build self confidence, you will enjoy every good benefits that comes with it.

    Self-confidence makes life more easier, it gives you the power to change your life. keep pushing, one day you will break that stumbling block.

    Here are Ways You Can Build Self Confidence in the Midst of None

    1. Try to Make a Difference No Matter How Little

    There are lots of simple things you can do that can make a difference. Change some certain things about yourself, Maintain high self esteem , work on your appearance and look your best. wear a smile, it makes you beautiful.

    2. Self Affirmations

    Change every negative thoughts about yourself into positivity, Believe you are amazing in your own way and no one can be better than you, you can make it with more efforts and time only if you try and you will definitely feel good about yourself.

    3. Volunteer or Charity Work

    You will feel more good and fulfilled when you know you can help others. Donít stay indoor and wallow in self pity, loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety. Step out of your home and do something for people. Make new friends and share experiences with them, this can help build your self confidence.

    4. Challenge Yourself to a Goal and Achieve it

    When you are successful, you build more self confidence. Set a little goal and strive to achieve it, you will be happy when you succeed and you will have greater confidence to go for a bigger goal. There is nothing you canít do, it only takes more efforts and time.

    5. Always Be Prepared

    never hurriedly leave things undone, everything you do in life, take your time and prepare your self mentally and emotionally. You will be more confident when you know you are well prepared. E.g if you have a date or meeting with someone, consider the kind of occasion it will be and wear clothes that fits the occasion, look yourself in the mirror and make sure you are satisfied with your looks. It will help keep you relaxed all day.

    6. Spend Time With People That Encourages You

    You must not have many friends to live a better life, just few good friends are enough to push you to success. Be with friends that encourages you, support you and can influence you positively.

    7. Never Compare Yourself to Others.

    Everyone is created in his or her own uniqueness. Never compare yourself to others, there is something in you that they crave to have. Never compare yourself to others, you may not know what they are passing through. Compare yourself to yourself, to who you were yesterday, focus on your own progress and not others. How far have you gone over the years, how successful have you become in last two years.. This are questions you should ask yourself and then work on building a better you.
    You can be whatever you want to be my dear, only believe, be patient and work hard.

    You are an amazing being, do not let anyone make you think otherwise.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    I can relate to how you feel, to a certain extent, I used to be super shy and social interactions would made me anxious. What helped me the most was moving to another country, all by myself, where I had to come out of my shell. I had to built my social life from scratch, and this experience has made me a lot more extroverted. I also learned to accept myself (that does not mean I am not working on improving myself and my weaknesses), and made peace with myself. I know I wonít be the loudest one at the party, but I am fine with chatting to a couple friends. I think itís hard to not care at all about what others think, but I realized itís okay if someone does not like you, itís life, not everyone will adore you. Iím still not the most confident person out there, but Iím doing a lot better than before. I used to hate going to parties/dinners knowing only a handful of people, but I just kept going out until I became comfortable with these situations. Hope this helps

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Being afraid of what others might think and obsessing about it is usually driven by your own unforgiving nature, meaning being a hyper critical, judgmental person yourself. You fear of what you do to others will be done to you. So it's not about loving yourself, it's about learning to be kinder and more forgiving. It's about accepting that everyone has flaws and that's being human. It's about learning how to be kinder and turning off your own inner critic.
    This is IT in a nutshell. When we're young, kids can be judgmental and cruel. This can start a vicious cycle that teaches us to view everything and everyone through a critical eye, including ourselves. Good parenting at home helps to reverse that cycle, but most of us have not had ideal childhoods. So it's up to each of us to reverse that spiral for ourselves. It starts with being as kind to ourselves as we would be to others, then upping that a notch to being forgiving. When we can forgive our own flaws, we tend to be more generous in forgiving those in others, and the spiral reverses as we teach ourselves the benefits of the upward spiral.

    It takes work, it doesn't just happen 'to' us. Counseling can help, so if you're in school, take advantage of the mental health services on campus, because your tuition has already paid that bill. Otherwise, try using your adult voice to speak with your child voice to help unravel where you get stuck. In other words, identify where you're using old, worn out ideas to characterize people instead of allowing yourself to learn who they really are. Drop the defenses you adopted during childhood, and use kinder and more inspiring self talk instead of drilling yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of.

    It's a decision.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by peachypeach
    I hate being an awkward, shy, unconfident, sensitive overthinking loser. I want to learn to love myself and just be me. I have a friend who is outgoing and radiates confidence. My friend makes friends easily on the other hand, I struggle making friends easily and have a hard time fitting in. I care too much what others think, and I try to convince myself that i shouldnít care, yet I still do. When people tease me I tend to take things seriously and take things personal. Any advice? How did you become a confident person?
    Just go with the flow. The only thing holding you back. Is yourself.

    Remember that you have a very amazing best friend that always has your back no matter what. That friend is yourself.

    Good luck!

  5.  

  6. 01-15-2020, 02:14 PM

  7. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    People's opinions of you are like a Rorschach (ink blot) test. It's the same figure but whatever they are saying is a reflection of them, not you. Other than that some short term therapy to sort some stuff out and get some interpersonal navigation tips could help tremendously.
    Originally Posted by peachypeach
    I care too much what others think, and I try to convince myself that i shouldnít care, yet I still do. When people tease me I tend to take things seriously and take things personal.

  8. #16
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    I find it fascinating how easily this seems to be solved.

    Iím going to take a more realistic approach because well letís be honest, if you could just you know stop being insecure and self critical Iím sure you would... Iím sure literally everyone would, I doubt there would ever be an insecure person in existence if it were that easy to you know just not be...lol... sheesh...

    Sarcasm aside.

    See someone, start with a Dr. they may suggest counseling or medication. You may need to dig into past relationships, friendships, your childhood who knows, I certainly donít based on the few posts youíve written, all I know is you have a crush on your boss.

    This isnít going to be an easy fix, but you can make steps to begin your journey, I think it will be worth it.

    Good luck!

  9. #17
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    Look into Mindfulness Meditation. It deals with all the problems you describe, as well as says many of the answers that the other people have commented. I have been meditation for at least 20 minutes a day for the last 2 years and it has cured many of the symptoms you describe. It is not religous, although I study Buddhist Meditation. But I am not a Buddhist, I just use the Meditation and the Philosophy. It has a lot to do with dealing with the way others think of you, and your response to them, and deeper tranquility and happiness. You will not take up a religion by reading about it. Mindfulness Meditation is only for self confidence and happiness. There are many youtubes, FB groups, and blogs about it. Millions of people do it every day

  10. #18

    Just be you!

    Originally Posted by peachypeach
    I hate being an awkward, shy, unconfident, sensitive overthinking loser. I want to learn to love myself and just be me. I have a friend who is outgoing and radiates confidence. My friend makes friends easily on the other hand, I struggle making friends easily and have a hard time fitting in. I care too much what others think, and I try to convince myself that i shouldnít care, yet I still do. When people tease me I tend to take things seriously and take things personal. Any advice? How did you become a confident person?
    Your desire can outweigh your thoughts and actions of who you perceive yourself to be right now. You said, you want to learn to love yourself and just be you. Part of you IS the shy, sensitive side, begin to love yourself for the place you are right now and make small changes to begin to open yourself up to who you'd like to be. For instance, I used to be VERY negative, complain, complain, complain, gossip, gossip, gossip. I hated those qualities about myself but felt like it was the fabric of who I was and I didn't or couldn't see how to change it.
    I started by reading and learning through my Bible quiet times in the mornings to see what God's word had to say about those qualities that I didn't like much within myself. What I learned helped me to replace the lies and the bad qualities I had to becoming more and more what God created me to be. Slowly and surely I would catch myself falling into the same traps as before and I would make a decision to stop. Turn around and speak positively, to not just talk and blather on because I was unconfident in who I was, but to have peace knowing just like a loaf of rising bread that I wasn't fiinished yet and the best was yet to come. I have peace accepting who I am, flaws and all, I'm thankful because I have changed and improved, but I'm still not finished yet. There's more good to come as I follow Jesus Christ and let him lead and guide me.
    I hope my story helps you. Please don't let self defeating talk dictate who you are. Choose everyday to love yourself and step out to stretch yourself to learn about becoming someone who sees the world differently through unique eyes. My how boring this life would be if we were all the same. Your confident friend may just see qualities within you that they wish they had!

  11. #19

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    Hey Peachypeach,

    Don't Compare Yourself To Others
    The path you're on is unique to you. By comparing yourself to others, you not only begin to worry, but you slow yourself down.
    The last thing you need is distraction.
    Set a Goal, make a plan and take action!!!
    As you focus on your goals and continue to persevere, you will soon have a few successes to celebrate along the way!

    ;)

    Warmly,

    Guythecoach

  12. #20
    Although being confident is a psychological trait, you can improve your self-confidence by dedicating some time for training your body. Working out not only keeps you healthy, but it affects your mind set in a positive way. Start working out & you will feel your confidence growing

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