Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 51

Thread: Asked a shy guy out - should I take this as rejection?

  1. #1

    Asked a shy guy out - should I take this as rejection?

    I've known a shy guy for a few months now, through a hobby and our mutual friends. At first I just thought was a nice guy, but then he showed such attentiveness & desire to get to know me, always doing me favours etc and he started to melt my heart. In fact the first time we met we talked for about 4 hours straight!

    Aside from this if we are all out in a big group I often catch him looking at me although he looks away when caught. And he compliments me quite a bit.

    So I decided to ask him out to an event this week- he replied saying he would have really liked to, but that he already had plans on that day. Ok fine. When I saw him today, he went bright red & could barely speak properly. He was still chatty as usual, but I definitely felt there was an elephant in the room and I wonder if made a mistake now. Bizarrely he didnt even mention the fact I had asked him out.

    What do you think?

  2. #2
    Silver Member Skeptic76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    California
    Age
    43
    Posts
    343
    Gender
    Male
    It sounds like hes a shy guy who likes you. As a formerly shy guy I always really appreciated it when women took the lead so on behalf of shy people everywhere: thanks!

  3. #3
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    847
    Gender
    Female
    Maybe he really did have plans. If so, he knows you're interested, so don't ask him again. He'll ask you if he's interested.

  4. #4
    Thanks for your reply - and you're welcome!

    Isn't it a bad sign that he didn't suggest another activity if he couldn't make the event I invited him to? The ball is surely in his court now to ask me to something if he does like me.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Burbank, CA
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,424
    Gender
    Male
    Just tell him that you like him and want to get to know him better.

    Shy people are afraid to make the first and second move.

    If that doesn't work. Move on.

  7. #6
    Silver Member Skeptic76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    California
    Age
    43
    Posts
    343
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by happyfrank
    Just tell him that you like him and want to get to know him better.

    Shy people are afraid to make the first and second move.

    If that doesn't work. Move on.
    Im with Frank on this one.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,592
    Gender
    Female
    Imo, the ball is in his court. If he is that much of a coward that he can't ask you out after you asked him out, then imo he isn't worth it. It is one thing to be shy but to be spineless is quite another.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,093
    Originally Posted by happyfrank
    Just tell him that you like him and want to get to know him better.

    Shy people are afraid to make the first and second move.

    If that doesn't work. Move on.
    They are afraid and most often unless the shyness is a sign of a real disorder they overcome the fear and do it because like many fears the goal is worth it. (It was for my husband apparently!). He doesn't sound that shy. I think he's embarrassed that he may have lead you on. And now he knows for sure you are interested so the ball definitely is in his court. I asked out a number of men when I was dating and when I was dating it wasn't an effective way to find a long term relationship otherwise I would have done it more often. I would assume he is not "that" into you and move on - he likes flirting with you and he might find you attractive and he is not interested in going on a date with you for whatever reason -I wouldn't take it personally.

  10. #9
    Originally Posted by Clio
    Imo, the ball is in his court. If he is that much of a coward that he can't ask you out after you asked him out, then imo he isn't worth it. It is one thing to be shy but to be spineless is quite another.
    I agree with you Clio. There is no reason for him not to ask me out if he likes me, as I have clearly demonstrated I would like to spend more time with him. It is not as though I will reject him - which is a bit how I'm feeling at the moment, silly as that might sound.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,592
    Gender
    Female
    No need to feel rejected. It's not as if you professed to him your undying love. You just asked him out. No big deal.

Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •