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Thread: Should I go on a date with this guy?

  1. #11
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    My experience with this kind of guy is the outcome is not good. He's selfish. Maybe he's just after sex, or he's just self-absorbed, selfish, and not genuinely interested...perhaps otherwise involved in a relationship, married even. Who knows? I just know that in my personal experience, a guy who plans to meet you with such narrow constraints is a selfish man. He plans a "date" with you to coincide with plans he already has going on. He decides last minute if he wants to see you, sandwiching you between other more important things.

    The few times he has expressed interest in meeting you, it is on short notice..."I've got some time to kill, let's see if Daphnedennis is available." This might be after his three other prospects said "no."

    Then he has the audacity to get mad at you for not being available at his beck and call. How dare you?

    He doesn't listen to you and gets annoyed at you when you don't agree with him, and he does very little to understand your point of view. He's "one of those," I suspect where his opinion is the only valid one. Oh sure, he apologized that one time he was an insensitive dolt, but it seems to me, a majority of your conversations are riddled with conflict, and he doesn't spare the rod when it comes to passing judgement on you. Add insult to injury, this, on top of the fact that he can barely find an hour or two to meet you at least once for
    a friggin' cup of coffee.

    The bottom line is that a majority of your interaction with this man makes you agitated, worried, and angry, or at the very least, annoyed. You feel belittled by him, I'm sure. He sits on his pedestal and awaits your fawning on him and leaping to his every whim...who cares what works for you. He is, after all, the end-all, be-all of the perfect specimen.

    Sure, he has his good qualities, which is why you've latched on to him as long as you have. I met and quasi-dated such a character, more than once, I'm afraid. I had one that would cancel on me regularly of which I complied, knowing his health issues, but when I canceled on him last-minute once? That did not go over well, and I even got a nasty email telling me what a horrible person I am. It's okay if they disagree with your POV or challenge your views, but if you do the same with him, it's met with a level of vitriol that far outweighs the issue at hand.

    I think the bottom line is that if he can't plan in advance to meet you personally, there is something else going on:
    • He has a girlfriend/wife
    • He really isn't all that into you
    • He has too many women in the "little black book" that await his attention and leap to see him when he expresses an interest, you're really an afterthought
    • He is stunted and incapable of a relationship

    Notice the number of times he "goes dark" and then reemerges like nothing happened.

    There is way too much conflict and way too much anxiety enveloping this man and whatever relationship you have going, and personally, I think it's best you let this one go.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    I don't understand why you're investing so much time and effort having all these conversations with someone you don't know? And also why you're so fixated on this one guy when there are thousands of other guys on Tinder! Chatting online should be pretty light. You shouldn't be having arguments and talking about personal stuff because you basically don't know each other. And it shouldn't be this much hard work! All this doesn't sound good to be honest.

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