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Thread: Innocent looks?

  1. #11
    There's a phenomenon called an, "Ingenue." I'll post some quotes from an old website where the original article was deleted:

    There are two types this discusses (all for fun, don't take too seriously). One is the normal Ingenue, which is a woman who seems to not ever age, and even in older age, keeps a very strange girlishness and adorableness about her that draws men in naturally.

    The other type is the negative, bad type called a female fatale, "Eternal Ingenue," who uses the natural ingenue characteristics she has to hurt and break the hearts of men. The typical ingenue characteristics that make her come across as innocent and virginal and just almost irresistable to many men aren't really bad, but the Eternal Ingenue knows how to use them for bad if that makes sense.

    "She can be distinguished from the Waif, however, by the fact that where the Waif is often silent, and usually still, the Eternal Ingenue is in continual, graceful, coltish motion. Nor is she surrounded by an aura of doom-laden unhappiness. She talks a lot. She laughs a good deal. She is above all else, animated. Prancing, gambolling, frolicking like a puppy or a pony, she is often described as “charming” or “enchanting.”

    "When guys talk about being attracted to an ethereal “girlishness” in women, they are thinking of ingenues from their pasts. Being a man is tough — it requires strength, stoicism, and seriousness of purpose. We are drawn to the opposite in women, yang to yin, and so the ingenue — the antithesis of the hardened alpha male — captures our imagination like no other woman can. Of the four femme fatales Clio wrote of, the Eternal Ingenue comes closest to embodying the essence of the perfect woman. And, unfortunately, she is also the most difficult to tame.

    "An element of the Ingenue’s search for the perfect love is that she must convince herself that all her previous loves were wrong or bad or not “real” love at all, so they didn’t count, because, you see, for her the only perfect love is first love. As a result of all this self-deception, she is able to seem virginal even when she is not.

    "She’ll put her trust in a handful of other women, but they are often much older than she is. […]

    "The Ingenue doesn’t necessarily refuse to be responsible or adult. She simply maintains an air of girlish sweetness and innocence through middle and old age. […]

    "…the waif’s childlike qualities may make a man feel protective: they do not make him feel fatherly. The whole point of the Ingenue is that she brings out this feeling in men. She makes them want to initiate her into the world, but gently, in a fatherly way, with books and talk and advice."

    Hope that helps!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member milly007's Avatar
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    I've had people say this to me as well, Kim, so you're not alone. Heard this comment from friends, colleagues, etc.

    The friends who commented were a bit more on the wild side than me (and yes, I was more tame than them), and the colleagues themselves had no filter (well, one colleague/friend in particular). The comments were by no means meant to be offensive. In fact, I'd say they were quite innocent (See what I did there?).

    I think the fact that I have a happy disposition, am a bit smiley (or at least, I used to be), am mannerly, with a baby face had something to do with it. But really, who knows. One of my best friend's gave off the same impression and we're similar, so...

    Don't let it get to you though.

    I can understand why you'd find it annoying (because I remember cringing a few times when I heard it), but really I just let it roll off my back after the first few times I heard it.

    It's been a year or so since I've heard anyone make this comment, so maybe I'm losing that look. :)

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Just ignore and live your own life. Who cares what other people think? Don't pay them any mind.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're back! We had a search party out for you. Look in off topics.

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  6. #15
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    You're back! We had a search party out for you. Look in off topics.
    Hi Sherry :) Yes I'm back, I missed you guys!

  7. #16
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Just ignore and live your own life. Who cares what other people think? Don't pay them any mind.
    Makes sense, I just found it super annoying yesterday.

  8. #17
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    I've had people say this to me as well, Kim, so you're not alone. Heard this comment from friends, colleagues, etc.

    The friends who commented were a bit more on the wild side than me (and yes, I was more tame than them), and the colleagues themselves had no filter (well, one colleague/friend in particular). The comments were by no means meant to be offensive. In fact, I'd say they were quite innocent (See what I did there?).

    I think the fact that I have a happy disposition, am a bit smiley (or at least, I used to be), am mannerly, with a baby face had something to do with it. But really, who knows. One of my best friend's gave off the same impression and we're similar, so...

    Don't let it get to you though.

    I can understand why you'd find it annoying (because I remember cringing a few times when I heard it), but really I just let it roll off my back after the first few times I heard it.

    It's been a year or so since I've heard anyone make this comment, so maybe I'm losing that look. :)
    Thanks Milly, I was hoping someone with similarly 'innocent' looks would be here :)

    I have a happy disposition too, I'm pretty enthusiastic and smile a lot, but you are right, who knows..

    I guess I didn't like how my friend said it yesterday, but it's fine, I'll get over it :)

    A lot of men have told me I look like a princess, which I find less annoying for some reason.

  9. #18
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    Me too - and my mother. More often than not people apologize much more in front of us if they curse, etc than is typical. I am petite and not soft spoken or shy. I grew up and spent 43 years in a major city and I've always been a tourist magnet I guess because I look safe and approachable. I mean you can come up with some good comebacks but I'd just do a short/clipped "oh, ok" and change the subject. Sorry you are feeling annoyed!

  10. #19
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Me too - and my mother. More often than not people apologize much more in front of us if they curse, etc than is typical. I am petite and not soft spoken or shy. I grew up and spent 43 years in a major city and I've always been a tourist magnet I guess because I look safe and approachable. I mean you can come up with some good comebacks but I'd just do a short/clipped "oh, ok" and change the subject. Sorry you are feeling annoyed!
    It's true that I've been told I look approachable, I didn't make a link between that and looking 'innocent'. Thank you Batya :)

  11. #20
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    i will be like - thanks for the compliment, i will defintely find something nice to say to you too someday :)

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