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Thread: Partners ex still paying compliments

  1. #1

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    Partners ex still paying compliments

    I work at the same place as my partner and her ex. He will find any excuse to go over to her desk to talk to her and still pays her compliments telling. She has no interest in him and reassures me. I accept they gave to talk at times about work but can't accept the compliments he is paying her. This is causing problems between us as my partner thinks I should ignore him but I feel he needs to know that he doesn't need to compliment her in any way. About a year ago he did tried his best to get her to give them another chance but she made it very clear to him she had no interest. Not syr how to handle this but us causing problems between us.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    How is this causing problems between you? How does she react when he pays her compliments? Do you think she's encouraging him?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    So, basically they work together.

    She can't get rid of him without causing a scene, or go to extremes and quit her job. He's the one who keeps going over to her desk, not the other way around.

    If you were in her shoes, what would you do? What would you like her to do?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    What exactly does he say to her? That she looks pretty today? And he hangs around her desk for chats? If so, it's up to her to establish boundaries. She should be cutting the chat short if he's hanging around and tell him she needs to get back to work. With his comments about her looks, she should tell him: This is a workplace. I no longer want to hear comments about my looks. I have a boyfriend now, and he's the only one I want to hear that from.

    You can give her these suggestions if she hasn't thought of them herself. But either she might like the ego boost, or she might lack the spine to stick up for herself. If things continue on as they are, you might want to consider if you want to stay in a relationship that is regularly upsetting to you.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Oh wow. You, your partner, and the stalker ex all work in the same place? There is a rule about relationships: Don't poop where you eat - and don't date coworkers. That goes for stalker exes too. I'd find another place to work. You are in hell.
    Last edited by Gary Snyder; 01-11-2020 at 11:40 AM.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is unfortunately the kind of drama that happens in the workplace. You need to ignore him, she has every right to speak to a coworker. You are creating the problem for yourself. They are just acting like coworkers.
    Originally Posted by RSB
    She has no interest in him and reassures me. I accept they gave to talk at times about work but can't accept the compliments he is paying her. T

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Learn to ignore her ex and make him oblivious in your mind. Don't make an issue out of this otherwise she'll move forward by breaking up with you.

  9. #8
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    It is not your partner's fault that the ex keeps complimenting them. The more you let it affect you the more it will push your partner away.

    As long as your partner knows you do not like and doesn't lead the ex on, then I would forget about it and be grateful you have them

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Izac1789
    It is not your partner's fault that the ex keeps complimenting them. The more you let it affect you the more it will push your partner away.

    As long as your partner knows you do not like and doesn't lead the ex on, then I would forget about it and be grateful you have them

    I totally disagree with this. The first time someone says something to you, no, there's nothing you could have done to predict or stop that. But if a person repeats a behavior, you can have a talk with them about it, and/or set them straight the first time they cross the line, or behave in a way not conducive to a taken person.

    I work in an environment where females are only 1/5 of the workforce. Believe me, I've had to put more than one man in line over the years. At first I started off telling them in a nice way, but if they couldn't take the hint, there were times I had to get downright mean. I didn't need the ego boost, and I valued my romantic union with my spouse too much to risk losing him by letting players play with me.

  11. #10
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    How are her mannerisms and responses to him? Is she engaging it?


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