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Thread: Ex and I are back together after her rebound

  1. #1

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    Ex and I are back together after her rebound

    Hello
    I was dating a woman for almost 2 years before she broke up with me back in May due to me just not being available. I admit I was not there for her like I boils have been and really do not blame her for breaking up with me. She got into another relationship right away for about 3 months but ended ending things with him to get back together with me.We remained in contact off and on during the breakup and had sex a few times. I didnít find out about this guy until after we got back together. At first she downplayed the relationship she had with him and recently admitted that they were dating but was not serious for her as she could not stop thinking about me and was just using him to get over me.
    My issue is that I just cannot get over the fact the she was with someone else during our time apart despite her insisting that she was just using him to get over me. I know she really loves me. She tells me constantly how much she loves and misses and even sends texts messages from work telling me she canít wait to see when she she gets home.
    Like I said I just cannot get over the fact that she dated someone else during our breakup.
    Would you guys stick it out or end it with her?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Can I ask how old you guys are?

    At the end of the day, this is the sort of thing you can either get over or not. For some it's pretty easy, for others impossible. Me? If I trusted that what we had was strong and special and genuinely worth another round of emotional investment, I wouldn't mind. But I also can't see myself ever finding out, since I'd never grill someone on what they were up to when we were broken up. Got back together with one ex a million years ago and never asked those questions, never had them asked. I'd gone on some dates during the intermission, imagine she did as well, but can't recall it ever being a point of stress.

    Did you expect her to be faithful to you after ending things? Were you a chaste monk during those three months? Is there a chance that you're using this little dalliance as an excuse to get out of something that you're not too certain about, deep down?

  3. #3
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    What happened happened. You got another chance with this girl, and she is who she is; so itís your call.

    People sometimes need perspective to value what they have. Iíd say if she cheated on you at the end that you should consider ending it; but if not, accept that she seems to be yours now and give it a chance if itís what you want.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'd end it with her IF you are constantly bothered by the fact that she slept with another man interim before rekindling her relationship with you.

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  6. #5
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    It's something you have to accept and never bring up or move on from the relationship.

    If you are on here posting about it then I guess that means you have doubts which means you can't accept it so should end it. For me also she's shown she's happy to cheat which is a massive red flag.

    If she's cheated on him with you then it's certainly within her nature to do the same to you should a better option present itself in future. Saying I was only with him for 3 konths or whatever is lame. A cheats a cheat.

    Best of luck either way.

  7. #6
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    She broke up with you because she wasn't getting your time and attention.
    She dated him fair and square.
    You knew she was dating someone for a couple of months because you knew she broke up with him to get back together with you.
    I know everyone wants to believe their ex is sitting around, lonely, and doing nothing to move on in case something changes. That isn't reasonable to believe.

    So don't let her regret getting back together for you - actually make time for her, or she is going to break up with you again because she realizes she is back in the same relationship with no changes.


    If she's cheated on him with you then it's certainly within her nature to do the same to you should a better option present itself in future. Saying I was only with him for 3 konths or whatever is lame. A cheats a cheat.


    They broke up and got back together. It sounds like she broke up with a guy she dated or 12 weeks because she realized she still had feelings for her ex. She never cheated on him when they were together the first time and she did the right thing by the other guy if she was still thinking about her ex.

  8. #7
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    My apologies. His timelines makes it sound like she was with rebound And started seeing OP again at same time.

  9. #8
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    OP if she's not slept with you while seeing him what are your concerns?

  10. #9
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Like I said I just cannot get over the fact that she dated someone else during our breakup.
    Would you guys stick it out or end it with her?
    I would end it, yet not for the reason she dated someone during your breakup, but because she left him to get back with you without taking the time to get her life in order. Having said that, keep in mind that history has a tendency to repeat itself.

    Also, where do you see the prize in someone who sleeps with you, while in that same period of time is sleeping with the other guy?

    Your call...

  11. #10
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    These on again, off again things don't seem to work out too well. Especially where she is just swinging from branch to branch.

    You may as well enjoy it while it lasts, because it sounds like it won't.

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