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Thread: Dumpers timeline

  1. #1
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    Dumpers timeline

    I know it is not possible to give an accurate answer to this, but I am looking for some female dumpers to shine some lights on this for me:

    Lets imagine you are in a healthy and loving relationship with a guy you say is "the man of your dreams".
    Some stuff happends in you life. New school, new job, a lot of stress and you also need to build a new social circel.
    You loose feelings for your boyfriend and dump him. Maybe it is due to stress, maybe GIGS, or maybe this new life with all you new singel classmates just seem more fun. Who knows?
    When you dump him you still say you are pretty sure he was the guy you are surpose to end up with, but you are not feeling it right now. You head really wants it, but your heart is not in it...
    Then follows 2 months with Low Contact. For some reason you act hot/cold during these 2 months. It is mostly you who starts the conversation. Sometimes you send him many sweet texts, and then follows a week or more where you just ignore him for some reason..
    After this he removes you from all social medias, and goes completely NC... You haven't heard a word from him in nearly 2 months now...

    Looking for female dumpers who has been in a situration close to this.
    My question is: how long did it take before you started missing dumpee? And what went through you minds? Where you affraid to make contact because you asumed he was pissed at you?

    Trying to understand my ex's mind

  2. #2
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    I know it is not possible to give an accurate answer to this
    your opening said it all really... I have dumped people and breathed a sigh of relief ..there was no missing them ..that why I dumped them .

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    Platinum Member faraday's Avatar
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    When I was younger, I would contact guys I dumped out of guilt....but I didn't miss them.

    I've never wanted to get back together with someone I've ended things with. Often, I would miss being in a relationship...but not with him.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    The 'sweet' texts are combo plate of guilt mixed with a need for my own comfort in moving forward. If you've been my safety net for a long time, it's totally self serving for me to put those out without regard for your need to ditch the idea of waiting for me so you can move on.

    Nobody can talk you out of blocking contact with her, but if you want her to wonder what you've been up to rather than taking for granted that you've socked yourself away suffering while awaiting her pity crumbs, STOP RESPONDING.

    I'd make it my goal to allow a bit of anger to light a fire in me. I'd opt to surprise everyone--including myself--with my ability to bounce back and cultivate a fabulous new life for myself.

    If you want to increase any possible chance of her wishing to reconcile with you, leave her breadcrumbs in the dust. She will have zero problem catching up to you someday if she ever wants to reconcile. Settle for nothing less, and say, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' to low contact and playing 'friendzies'. Skip THAT, and your self esteem will skyrocket--and so will her respect for you.

    Head high, you can do this.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member kbbcoop77's Avatar
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    Catfeeder GREAT RESPONSE

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    Not a female dumper, but if she's initiating contact and you are responding, she's not missing you because she knows you're there. You responding will guarantee she never misses you. So stop.

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    Thanks for these great replies. Like I mention in my post I cut of all contact with her 2 months ago.
    Catfeeder: what do you mean by breadcrums? Could you explain or give me some examples?
    I want us to reconsile. And I am wondering about

    Ps: we dont live in the same city

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    This an interesting thread. I posted my story today. And now I wonder what is going thru the mind of my ex? She is hurting and sad. Is she having second thoughts? I'm going to speak with her for the first time since the intial break up almost one month ago. What I would give to get inside her head...

  10. #9
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    Yeah would be nice to see what is going on inside their heads
    Catfeeder: could you explain what you mean by breadcums?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CreeD
    Thanks for these great replies. Like I mention in my post I cut of all contact with her 2 months ago.
    Catfeeder: what do you mean by breadcrums? Could you explain or give me some examples?
    I want us to reconsile. And I am wondering about

    Ps: we dont live in the same city
    Most dumpers enjoyed at least one or two aspects of the relationship, just not enough to stay. So if they can manipulate you into into still giving them the comforts of your friendship and support even while they get to enjoy the freedom of being single, their exit is all gain--no pain.

    So when a dumper puts out little 'crumbs' of friendship, that's all about her comfort rather than any concern for you. If you're willing to participate, that's great for her--it makes her transition fabulous--even while it only scrapes open your pain with every contact and prevents you from healing.

    Don't settle for crumbs. Doing so just keeps her comfy and secure as she walks away. If you want her to miss you, cut that cord and allow her to learn what her life will be like without you in it.

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