Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: Is it over?

  1. #1

    Is it over?

    Hello I’m trying to get some help and perspective on my situation. I 44M was in a relationship 33F who recently gave me the dreaded “I need to figure things out” line. I know she was recently out of a seven year relationship and suspected that she wants to give it another try with him so I told her I appreciate her letting me know and to call me if things change. A few days later she texted me from work telling me she missed me and she still loves me and always will. She called me on her break and we talked for a bit and she said she didn’t know how much time she needs. After we hung up she texted me and told me how much she missed talking to me then followed up with “let me figure things out I promise I will be in touch”. I went to Florida to do my own thing (we live in PA) and not be around. I saw a rainbow, snapped a pic and sent it to her with the caption “I saw this and it reminded me of you. She responded with “thanks. Hope all is well”. I didn’t respond and haven’t reached out again. Do you think it’s over or is there any hope?

    Thank you!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,694
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Oblivionwalk
    \ I know she was recently out of a seven year relationship and suspected that she wants to give it another try with him
    If this is indeed what she's really doing, then it's not very kind. She's basically reconciled and feeding you just enough to keep you on ice. This makes you plan B. Is that ok with you?

    In addition, imagine you are her boyfriend. How would you feel if you were working on getting your 7 year relationship back on track and your girlfriend was fanning a flame for her back up plan.

    Look, she's probably a lovely lady and I don't mean to paint her ugly. But the kindest thing to do would be to be transparent with you about what's going on, wish you well and say goodbye. In the event things don't work out she could find you again and start over. But in the meantime she needs to set you free instead of giving you mixed messages and false hope.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,278
    Gender
    Female
    You don't say how long you've dated but If I were you, I'd be snapping pics of you with your arm around a new date. She should be seeing you moving on because that is what you should be doing if she is indeed "giving it another try with him." I'd find that out and if she is tryin it on with him, then you try it on with someone new and do your best to forget her.

    So how long did you date before she needs this distance to figure things out?

  4. #4
    We were together for three months. Normally I wouldn’t get hung up over it but she told me how much she loves me and wanted me to meet her parents and friends and wants to move forward with our relationship. She got me to fall for her and now I’m confused. I lined up a date for Friday and someone else for Saturday because I’m not going to just sit around and wait.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    16,883
    Gender
    Female
    It sounds like she's shopping around while she places you on hold. Either way, I wouldn't buy into this scheme, as she knows exactly what she's doing, (imo).

    I'd call her bluff, and move on.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,278
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Oblivionwalk
    We were together for three months. Normally I wouldn’t get hung up over it but she told me how much she loves me and wanted me to meet her parents and friends and wants to move forward with our relationship. She got me to fall for her and now I’m confused. I lined up a date for Friday and someone else for Saturday because I’m not going to just sit around and wait.
    Glad to hear you're not going to sit around and wait... look after yourself and your own best interests. You've only known this woman for 3 months and talking about how "much she loves you" after that short period of time is a bit of a red flag. She certainly could show you how much she is liking you in that time but her proclamations of love were most likely just lust and infatuation... after all, she doesn't really know you either.

    Have fun on your dates.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,533
    Gender
    Female
    Sounds like you are a rebound.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,747
    She doesn't sound serious about anything to do with you so I would do likewise and not pay her any mind. Yes, it's over and no sense having any hopeful thinking. Let her "figure things out" forever while you move on forever without her.

  10. #9
    Thank you everyone for the replies. I suspected as much but it never hurts to get unbiased opinions.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,207
    You snapped a pic of a rainbow and she said.."thanks, hope all is well"? Ouch.

    She's not interested, my guess is, she's got another man on the line. Could be the ex, might be a new guy.

    Either way, make no mistake about it, you were the rebound and she's now done with you. If someone tells you they love you within 3 months of dating, something's not right.
    She doesn't know you well enough to be saying that and it's way too early.
    Obviously it was all a bunch of bs while she had her eye on another man waiting to hear from him. Now she probably has and you're no longer interesting.

    Move on, let it go. She was too young for you anyhow.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •