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Thread: Fearful my best friend will be killed by her new love interest

  1. #11
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    You can't save someone from themselves, unfortunately.

    She knows you are worried and don't want her around this man. But if she doesn't care and is hell-bent on destroying her own life, there is really very little you can do but steer her toward resources to help her should she ever decide she can't continue seeing him. I would not cut her out completely, as she may one day genuinely need your help getting away from him, but I would take a big step back lest this man turn his ire on you if he thinks you're trying to interfere.

    I am curious how he gets away with being such a horrible jerk at her workplace. Where is her boss while he is abusing her in front of everyone?

  2. #12
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I'd also like to know what type of workplace allows these crazy antics?

  3. #13
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I saved a gf from her abusive husband, faced threats from him and she left and 4 months later hooked up with another abusive man. I was out at that point.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    I'd also like to know what type of workplace allows these crazy antics?
    Same here.

    You also seem to have a very long history of abuse yourself.

    You were also briefly romantically involved with her.

    There’s a lot going on here.

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  6. #15
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    Can you say "Nancy Sue, Do you think its odd that you are sleeping with this guy, but he won't tell you his last name?" Just get her to think for starters.

  7. #16
    Member itsbannapple's Avatar
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    She works overnight and he is friends with one of the overnight managers who doesn't do anything at all. They all allow this to happen at the store, nobody gives a single sh*t. It's disappointing. it happens all right in front of the manager.

  8. #17
    Member itsbannapple's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Same here.

    You also seem to have a very long history of abuse yourself.

    You were also briefly romantically involved with her.

    There’s a lot going on here.
    I do, and yes her and I have a brief sexual history that was years ago.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by itsbannapple
    She works overnight and he is friends with one of the overnight managers who doesn't do anything at all. They all allow this to happen at the store, nobody gives a single sh*t. It's disappointing. it happens all right in front of the manager.
    Is this what she is telling you, or are you hearing this from a third party? Have you actually seen this happen?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stay away from her.
    Originally Posted by itsbannapple
    her and I have a brief sexual history that was years ago.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I'd tell her that we can speak about anything in the world except for this guy. If she ever wants my help to extricate herself from him, she can let me know, but unless and until then, I don't want to discuss him. I'd give her the hotline number of your local woman's shelter and domestic violence agency after calling them myself to learn what steps I can take in the event that she will accept my help.

    The reason for this is to avoid being the pressure valve that releases her stress when she complains about him. That only serves to embed her more deeply in the problem, because she'll feel better, you'll feel worse, and nothing will change. Skip that. I'd make it known that I'm concerned about her and her choice to deal with this guy, but while I'm willing to support her in making better decisions, I'm not willing to make it easier for her to do something that I don't want her to do.

    If she's ever out, I'm in. Until then, I don't want to hear about him.

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