Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26

Thread: My Mother VS Me & My Wife

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    10

    My Mother VS Me & My Wife

    Sorry for my English, I am a Muslim and Pakistani guy and my story begins when my Father and Mother divorced and after divorce my mother my 9 years old brother and myself was living seperately if you ask me personally whose fault was in the divorce it was my mother because she always uses the bad language with my everyone and even after divorce she didn't change and started to fight with her 2 sisters and 2 brothers since then I am working as a child, left my studies after 10 grades, I got engaged with a girl whom I love and it was family arranged engagement, but after that my mother target was me and my fiancť, anyhow after a lot of fights I got married in 2009 and started to live in joint family, my son was born after a year of marriage, there was not a single day when my mother didn't fight with us and in a year she threw us out of home at least 4-5 times every time my family elder intervened and patched up the problem by saying that you and your wife are wrong here and say sorry to her, but after 1.5 years of fighting one day in winter she knocked our door and asked us to leave the house with 6 month old baby without any reason, we moved out and lived 15 days with different relatives and we decided to leave the house permanently my family elders supported me on back of my mother, but it was not that easy decision because financially we were broken, my wife and in-laws respected me in every aspect and told me that it's totally your decision if you want to live your mother or leave the house, finally we moved out from house with only clothes as all of my furniture has to be sold to rent a new home which was gifted from my in-laws, even after all this my wife supported me, 2 years we didn't visited my mother and even we were broke we lived a happy life, then there was a day when my elders told me to forget all things and meet my mother which I did and the problem started again whenever I visit my mother misbehaves with my wife, meanwhile even I was not good and sometimes fought with my wife but she didnít leave me and when my son was 5 years old we had a daughter and then my life changed, my wife encouraged me to start studies again as I was working in a private firm and we were fair in financials, after her encouragement I started to study and I passed my 12th grade exams and started to study BS as I was working in an IT department, my mother was changed because she was living alone with my little brother and she started to search a girl to marry him, she found a girl whose father was known to me I told her and she was happy that family is known, my brother married the girl, in this marriage there was a fight between my mother and my aunt and I resolved it and this marriage was lead by me and my wife, but after the marriage of my brother we were back where it all started my mother started to fight with her new daughter-in-law but a different change which is that now I am responsible for their marriage and she had a doubt that my wife is teaching her new daughter-in-law and she abuses my wife in front of all, while we have the complaint that she (my brother wife) is not even talking with us in proper manners, anyhow I got job offer from abroad with a very good package and I moved out while in my country my brother earnings was better then me and I never complaint or asked for any thing, I moved my family near my in-laws so they can morally support her, My family life was just revolving around me, now the problem started as my family and my family elders didnít even called to ask my family that how are they or if they need any thing, when I came back for vacations I visited my mother home with wife and kids, when we all greeted my mother one by one but my mother didnít even replied to my wife greetings, now I am trying to rebuild my life as it was well disturbed when we leave the house and we had nothing but now when I have some money and I am trying to settle my life with finanace, first my morhter asks for more money while I am already supporting her and she always compare my little brother earning by saying that see now you are earning a lot of money and your brother is not earning that much, even the family elders which supported me while I was leaving the house are critizing me and saying that you should support your mother more, but I am saving money to secure my kids future and now I am 33 years old and I donít want to live in abroad longer, now my wife is not agreed to talk or visit my mother home by saying that enough is enough now we should take decision and leave her on her own. Now I know that my wife is 100% right about her feelings but need suggestions because I am living abroad and she is living alone we both are mentally disturbed and not in our 100%.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The emerald city
    Posts
    1,137
    Gender
    Male
    Can you please break that into paragraphs. It is a very long sentence.

    Thanks.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    10
    Sorry for my English, I am a Muslim and Pakistani guy and my story begins when my Father and Mother divorced and after divorce my mother my 9 years old brother and myself was living separately if you ask me personally whose fault was in the divorce it was my mother because she always uses the bad language with my everyone and even after divorce she didn't change and started to fight with her 2 sisters and 2 brothers since then I am working as a child, left my studies after 10 grades, I got engaged with a girl whom I love and it was family arranged engagement, but after that my mother target was me and my fiancť, anyhow after a lot of fights I got married in 2009 and started to live in joint family, my son was born after a year of marriage, there was not a single day when my mother didn't fight with us and in a year she threw us out of home.

    At least 4-5 times every time my family elder intervened and patched up the problem by saying that you and your wife are wrong here and say sorry to her, but after 1.5 years of fighting one day in winter she knocked our door and asked us to leave the house with 6-month-old baby without any reason, we moved out and lived 15 days with different relatives and we decided to leave the house permanently my family elders supported me on back of my mother, but it was not that easy decision because financially we were broken, my wife and in-laws respected me in every aspect and told me that it's totally your decision if you want to live your mother or leave the house, finally we moved out from house with only clothes as all of my furniture has to be sold to rent a new home which was gifted from my in-laws, even after all this my wife supported me.

    2 years we didn't visit my mother and even we were broke we lived a happy life, then there was a day when my elders told me to forget all things and meet my mother which I did and the problem started again whenever I visit my mother misbehaves with my wife, meanwhile even I was not good and sometimes fought with my wife but she didnít leave me and when my son was 5 years old we had a daughter and then my life changed, my wife encouraged me to start studies again as I was working in a private firm and we were fair in financials, after her encouragement I started to study and I passed my 12th-grade exams and started to study BS as I was working in an IT department, my mother was changed because she was living alone with my little brother and she started to search a girl to marry him, she found a girl whose father was known to me I told her and she was happy that family is known, my brother married the girl.

    In this marriage there was a fight between my mother and my aunt and I resolved it and this marriage was led by me and my wife, but after the marriage of my brother we were back where it all started my mother started to fight with her new daughter-in-law but a different change which is that now I am responsible for their marriage and she had a doubt that my wife is teaching her new daughter-in-law and she abuses my wife in front of all, while we have the complaint that she (my brother wife) is not even talking with us in proper manners, anyhow I got job offer from abroad with a very good package and I moved out while in my country my brother earnings were better than me and I never complain or asked for anything, I moved my family near my in-laws so they can morally support her, My family life was just revolving around me.


    Now the problem started as my family and my family elders didnít even called to ask my family that how are they or if they need anything, when I came back for vacations I visited my mother home with wife and kids when we all greeted my mother one by one but my mother didnít even replied to my wife greetings, now I am trying to rebuild my life as it was well disturbed when we leave the house and we had nothing but now when I have some money and I am trying to settle my life with finance, first my mother asks for more money while I am already supporting her and she always compare my little brother earning by saying that see now you are earning a lot of money and your brother is not earning that much, even the family elders which supported me while I was leaving the house are criticizing me and saying that you should support your mother more.

    I am saving money to secure my kids future and now I am 33 years old and I donít want to live in abroad longer, now my wife is not agreed to talk or visit my mother home by saying that enough is enough now we should take the decision and leave her on her own. Now I know that my wife is 100% right about her feelings but need suggestions because I am living abroad and she is living alone we both are mentally disturbed and not in our 100%.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,556
    Is it possible for your wife to stay with her family for now?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    10
    She is staying alone in a separate home near her parent's home.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,556
    Can she not stay with her parents for now?

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    10
    She can but how it will resolve the problem ?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    38,378
    Gender
    Male
    You need to bring your wife to live with you. You need to focus on a better life for yourself, your wife and your kids. This arrangement makes no sense. You can't solve problems running away and leaving your wife and your mother to battle things out. Move back and head your own family or bring your wife to where you are. Why abandon everyone then wonder why there are so many problems?
    Originally Posted by Anonymus123
    I am living abroad and she is living alone

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    10
    I am in war effected country and there is no future for my family, I am here just to earn money and complete my studies one I have done that I will be back with them.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    38,378
    Gender
    Male
    So you are simply too busy with your own pursuits to be with your wife or your family of origin and therefore let them battle with each other? Then you have to hear about all the drama back home from your wife and your family and that annoys you? Well as long as you are away there will be issues.
    Originally Posted by Anonymus123
    I am here just to earn money and complete my studies one I have done that I will be back with them.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •