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Thread: Help what do I do???

  1. #1
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    Help what do I do???

    Ok so my son's mother says she wants to be with me but only if I cut ties with my parents completely! She hates them and says if I want her I have to cut them out of mine and my kids completely. I told her no and now she's saying I'm choosing my mother over her and my kids. I feel like asking this of me is totally inappropriate and controlling.am I wrong for telling her to shove it?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This combative on/off relationship with your child's mother is not healthy for anyone involved. A far better choice is to get to therapy for yourself so you can be the best father you can and co-parent with the child's interests coming first. The conflict between your child's mother and your parents will never end so stop forcing any of it.

    My advice remains the same on this issue: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Jason1279
    my son's mother says she wants to be with me but only if I cut ties with my parents completely! She hates them and says if I want her I have to cut them out of mine and my kids completely.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I would never allow ANYONE to force my mom out of my life. I NEVER ask my husband to abandon his parents and I have hated them for 30 years and they hate me.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Looking at your other post, this woman is nuts and an angry alcoholic to boot. You shouldn't be thinking about how to get back with her at all. What you should be thinking about seriously is how to get full custody of your child and collecting evidence and getting full legal advice on how to get that done. She is not a fit parent.

    You also need to get some counseling and get your head screwed on straight - ex wife, another child, now this mess. Doesn't seem like you are making proper choices when it comes to women AND bringing innocent children into what is a psychotic mess. You can't undo what you've done, but high time to grow up and get your act together and start cleaning up the mess you've created, aka protect your child from an unhinged alcoholic and be the sane, safe parent to them because she is not capable. No way should you be considering being with this woman and again, work on getting full custody of your kid.

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  6. #5
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I agree get full custody then tell her to shove it.

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    Unless your parents are dangerous and treat your kids badly, than this is a drunken, nonsense demand.

    No good mother would deny decent grandparents contact with her child.

    I agree with the others. Get a lawyer to push for full custody and you decide who sees your kids. Protect them from negativity and danger and exposure to substance abuse.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    She is being completely unreasonable. She has no right to tell you who you should or shouldn't have in your life..especially your parents!!!

    Tell her to shove it. Who does she think she is to demand this of you!!

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    My spouse hating or not getting along with my family would be a dealbreaker IMO. How dare she expects you to choose between them. I get it she doesn't like them, doesn't mean you have to cut all ties. She needs to grow up, and be an adult. Dangling the kids in front of you speaks volumes about her as a person. She's nasty.

  10. #9
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    Well I just want to thank everybody for the replies your answers are just as I suspected sometimes you can start to question your own opinions and your answers I just made my decision to let her go more concrete and yes I have I've been seeing a counsellor. At least now I know I made the right decision telling her to shove it where the sun don't shine

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If she loved you, Jason, she would respect the fact that you want/need your parents in your life, even if she doesn't get on with them.

    You made the right decision.

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