Nothing was wrong

Recently I had broken up with my boyfriend but I have no idea why. I had no reason to do that. I’m still trying to reason with myself how I came to a conclusion to do so and ruin my life so far. He did nothing wrong, he was basically perfect. Idk how to form my words properly but I haven’t felt anything in a long time and he made me feel so many emotions at once I can’t describe it. Idk if I was overwhelmed or somehow just taken over by something to the point where I did that, I have no idea. He made me my happiest and was the best thing to happen to me all year. I don’t know why I had to ruin that for me. Why would I do that. We weren’t together that long and everything was all light and fluffy still. I’m just dumb and inexperienced. Right before I was just chilling and thinking, listening to music. I feel like I found a way to be happy by myself or something and was telling him I want to be alone. I didn’t want to lose him, but I told him I just wanted to be friends. I guess I was scared of the whole idea of relationships, I still don’t understand why people have them, I don’t understand the point of doing so. Everything in my life was going horrible, but I met him and everything was somehow better knowing I could talk to him and be with him. I had no reason to break up with him, no reason to compromise my happiness like that, I love him I don’t understand. Now I’m just overthinking and crying nonstop. Idk what to do. I’m so lost I’ve never gone through anything like this, I’ve tried talking to him idk. The one thing that got me was he never asked why. He’s been through a lot too. But he just said okay and went on. I’m feeling so much and I haven’t cried in months till now idk how to carry on with this.

Please ask me questions as I’m still trying to figure out myself as well.

Sorry for the lack of punctuation and structure.

Are you still in communication?

Have you always had trust issues? Are you afraid of letting someone get close?

Have you considered speaking to a therapist?

If you dk, then how can anyone else k?

May I respectfully ask how old you are ? How long ago you met him ? And how many hours you spent with him? In total?

Recently I had broken up with my boyfriend but I have no idea why. I had no reason to do that. I’m still trying to reason with myself how I came to a conclusion to do so and ruin my life so far. He did nothing wrong, he was basically perfect. Idk how to form my words properly but I haven’t felt anything in a long time and he made me feel so many emotions at once I can’t describe it. Idk if I was overwhelmed or somehow just taken over by something to the point where I did that, I have no idea. He made me my happiest and was the best thing to happen to me all year. I don’t know why I had to ruin that for me. Why would I do that. We weren’t together that long and everything was all light and fluffy still. I’m just dumb and inexperienced. Right before I was just chilling and thinking, listening to music. I feel like I found a way to be happy by myself or something and was telling him I want to be alone. I didn’t want to lose him, but I told him I just wanted to be friends. I guess I was scared of the whole idea of relationships, I still don’t understand why people have them, I don’t understand the point of doing so. Everything in my life was going horrible, but I met him and everything was somehow better knowing I could talk to him and be with him. I had no reason to break up with him, no reason to compromise my happiness like that, I love him I don’t understand. Now I’m just overthinking and crying nonstop. Idk what to do. I’m so lost I’ve never gone through anything like this, I’ve tried talking to him idk. The one thing that got me was he never asked why. He’s been through a lot too. But he just said okay and went on. I’m feeling so much and I haven’t cried in months till now idk how to carry on with this.

Please ask me questions as I’m still trying to figure out myself as well.

Sorry for the lack of punctuation and structure.

I get the impression that you're pretty young. Honestly, I peg you at maybe 14 based on your writing and where my own head was at when I was that age. I made a lot of impulsive decisions to help myself figure out what was important. Some people learn by being told what to think; others like me have to go to the School of Hard Knocks.

All I can say is, it's natural to question the way things are, and what you really want. And you should question those things because there's a lot to figure out. It took me until I was 34 to figure out that I didn't want marriage or children! I just always assumed I wanted those things because that's what people did.

Anyway, back to adolescence. Writing helped me a lot. I started journaling when I was 14 and made a commitment to myself to write out exactly what I was thinking, no matter how I felt about it. In other words, I tried not to hide my true feelings from myself. And of course I hid my journal from my mom and the world at large.

I continued this habit through my teens and 20s. It's probably been the single most helpful thing I've ever done for myself. I would definitely recommend it to you, especially the part about not judging yourself for the things that come out of your pen (or keyboard or whatever).

I also went to therapy for years, but if you are indeed as young as I think you are, that may not be an option for you due to cost and logistics. It was an option for me at that age because I was kicked out of school and they required that I receive therapy as a condition for my return. I welcomed therapy for a number of reasons (crazy family) and found it helpful. But in lieu of therapy, you can talk to a guidance counselor if you feel like you are struggling with something.

But I think a lot of the feelings and actions that you describe are quite normal for anyone who is 12 - 18 years of age. Even beyond, into your early to mid 20s. It's part of growing up. It's not always comfortable, but it is what it is.

@jibralta

You have contradicted yourself?

“ I made a lot of impulsive decisions to help myself figure out what was important. Some people learn by being told what to think; others like me have to go to the School of Hard Knocks.

It took me until I was 34 to figure out that I didn't want marriage or children! I just always assumed I wanted those things because that's what people did”

You are talking to a child here?

How long were you dating? Where did you meet? Rather than dating make an appointment with a doctor and a therapist to sort out your feelings and confusion.

Recently I had broken up with my boyfriend but I have no idea why. I told him I just wanted to be friends. I’m just overthinking and crying nonstop..

Some women aren't ready for love until 26 or 27. If you want, consider talking to a counselor.

Where is this data from?

Some women aren't ready for love until 26 or 27.

OP, there appears to be some debate here about how old you are, which I won't join.

You said this:

Recently I had broken up with my boyfriend but I have no idea why. I had no reason to do that. I’m still trying to reason with myself how I came to a conclusion to do so and ruin my life so far. He did nothing wrong, he was basically perfect.

 

... I had no reason to break up with him, no reason to compromise my happiness like that, I love him I don’t understand.

Then you said this:

[

I’ve tried talking to him idk. The one thing that got me was he never asked why... But he just said okay and went on.

It's pretty simple:

1. You dumped him.

2. He has sufficient self worth not to need to chase after you. He accepted your decision and walked away. Well guess what, you told him to.

3. Now you are questioning your own decision made with no reason, and looking for validation - because he didn't chase you and give it to you.

You need to learn from this mistake and not make irrational decisions in the future.

it’s all good now though

just figured out how to reply my bad

this one too

and here too

I get the impression that you're pretty young. Honestly, I peg you at maybe 14 based on your writing and where my own head was at when I was that age. I made a lot of impulsive decisions to help myself figure out what was important. Some people learn by being told what to think; others like me have to go to the School of Hard Knocks.

 

All I can say is, it's natural to question the way things are, and what you really want. And you should question those things because there's a lot to figure out. It took me until I was 34 to figure out that I didn't want marriage or children! I just always assumed I wanted those things because that's what people did.

 

Anyway, back to adolescence. Writing helped me a lot. I started journaling when I was 14 and made a commitment to myself to write out exactly what I was thinking, no matter how I felt about it. In other words, I tried not to hide my true feelings from myself. And of course I hid my journal from my mom and the world at large.

 

I continued this habit through my teens and 20s. It's probably been the single most helpful thing I've ever done for myself. I would definitely recommend it to you, especially the part about not judging yourself for the things that come out of your pen (or keyboard or whatever).

 

I also went to therapy for years, but if you are indeed as young as I think you are, that may not be an option for you due to cost and logistics. It was an option for me at that age because I was kicked out of school and they required that I receive therapy as a condition for my return. I welcomed therapy for a number of reasons (crazy family) and found it helpful. But in lieu of therapy, you can talk to a guidance counselor if you feel like you are struggling with something.

 

But I think a lot of the feelings and actions that you describe are quite normal for anyone who is 12 - 18 years of age. Even beyond, into your early to mid 20s. It's part of growing up. It's not always comfortable, but it is what it is.

Sorry, I slept on this and realized how choppy I sounded. I’m 15 and like you said therapy isn’t an actual option right now for me. I’ll take your word and try writing things out, better to at least write it out I guess. But thank you, this helped me put things relatively in perspective. I’ve concluded that it was just a lot of his words that I’m not letting go. The way he cared for me or loved me, whatever, even in that short amount of time amounted to what I’ve felt my whole life.

I’ve never really understood why people get into relationships so I just went with it at first, but he made a lot feel better moreover.

Thanks though, I’m pretty much getting over it now.

Are you still in communication?

 

 

Have you always had trust issues? Are you afraid of letting someone get close?

 

Have you considered speaking to a therapist?

Yes, and I guess you could say that. I haven’t considered a therapist and not available to one really.

If you dk, then how can anyone else k?

 

May I respectfully ask how old you are ? How long ago you met him ? And how many hours you spent with him? In total?

No idea, but I’m 15. I met him early October, and we couldn’t really meet up a lot, even over the break we had. I’d say about a half a day. We just really talked a lot and that’s probably what I’m hung up on.

OP, there appears to be some debate here about how old you are, which I won't join.

 

You said this:

 

 

 

Then you said this:

 

[

 

It's pretty simple:

 

1. You dumped him.

 

2. He has sufficient self worth not to need to chase after you. He accepted your decision and walked away. Well guess what, you told him to.

 

3. Now you are questioning your own decision made with no reason, and looking for validation - because he didn't chase you and give it to you.

 

You need to learn from this mistake and not make irrational decisions in the future.

eah, I’m understanding this now and realizing what I’ve done, going forth. Thanks though, that cleared my thinking.

Yes, and I guess you could say that. I haven’t considered a therapist and not available to one really.

You are very young. I would hold off on the therapist Your behavior is quite normal

Sorry, I slept on this and realized how choppy I sounded. I’m 15 and like you said therapy isn’t an actual option right now for me. I’ll take your word and try writing things out, better to at least write it out I guess. But thank you, this helped me put things relatively in perspective. I’ve concluded that it was just a lot of his words that I’m not letting go. The way he cared for me or loved me, whatever, even in that short amount of time amounted to what I’ve felt my whole life.

I’ve never really understood why people get into relationships so I just went with it at first, but he made a lot feel better moreover.

Thanks though, I’m pretty much getting over it now.

Glad to have helped you put things into perspective. I think what you're feeling is normal.

I didn't understand about relationships either, at that age. It took a long time for me to truly appreciate their value--I'm talking into my 30s. Don't feel pressured.

Writing things out has always helped me.

Talk to a trusted adult about your issues. Is there a teacher, relative or parent you can talk to? Do not let boys push you into sex. That's a great reason to stop talking to them.

I’m 15.

Talk to a trusted adult about your issues. Is there a teacher, relative or parent you can talk to? Do not let boys push you into sex. That's a great reason to stop talking to them.

Don’t have an adult figure to help me out here, can’t really talk to anybody, but yeah I guess that’s good too?

OP.. you are okay and Im going to state the obvious... You are only 15. Which means that you are going to be constantly evolving and when you are 20, you are not going to be the same person you were at 15.. when you are 25, you wont be the same person as you were at 20 and so on. Your needs, likes, wants, fears, life, dreams, goals will be changing consistently and that is very normal and I will dare to say that you will always be changing and evolving.

So instead of trying to complicate things, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one. And in your case I would just say that you just don't want a relationship right now. A relationship doesn't appeal to you or interest you and that is okay. If your friends are in a relationship... great, if you don't want one, don't get into one. And don't let anyone convince, pressure, bargain, reason, negotiate you into getting into a relationship with you if you don't want to be in one.

One of the best advice I have heard and its so true is "Its easier to stay out than it is to get out" I wish everyone knew this. Before you get into any questionable situation think of that. But I digress..

You are 15 and right now you should just enjoy. If you don't want to be in a relationship, then don't get into one. Its that simple. One day you will be ready for one and when that happens, you will know. So you are okay..You will have the rest of your life to experience the ups and downs of a relationship.