Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Job Opportunity and Personal Life Conflict Question

  1. #1
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    The D (Detroit)
    Posts
    847
    Gender
    Male

    Job Opportunity and Personal Life Conflict Question

    Sorry, didnt know which subtopic to put this under because it could go under so many.

    A lot of my close friends I also work with. I had a real mess on my hand about 5 years ago when a new girl, I'll call her B in this scenario to not use real names, started working with us. Her and I hit it off and my friends were all trying to set us up. I had one of my coworkers/friends talk me out of dating her, I'll call him H for this scenario. Turns out H started dating her and it caused some issues with me and him. B and H ended up getting married. H and I have settled our differences and are pretty good friends again now.

    Fast forward 5 years and I started having real problems with B. Think she was using people to get ahead at her job and was manipulative and just not a nice person. Turns out B and H are now getting divorced because B cheated on H with another married coworker who isnt in our friends group.

    Now to how the work plays into this, I've had some issues with my employer lately and feel undervalued. My line of work to keep doing what I'm doing there arent many options without moving. However there is one place that is hiring that would give me at least a $20 k raise and give me more potential to climb and better benefits. I applied there and was asked recently to come in for an interview. My resume stacks up well enough for me to believe I will be offered a job there.

    The problem is, in the midst of the disaster that B left behind, she left to go work at the same place I'm interviewing with (she announced she was going there after I applied). I really cannot stand her and think she really screwed over my friend after messing with me and leading me on when she first came here (looking back I'm positive she did this to help her career).

    And now I am questioning if the career opportunity is worth going to have to work with her again.

    Any advice or suggestions?
    Last edited by TheD87; 01-01-2020 at 05:14 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,654
    Is she going to be your supervisor? Or do you just occasionally have to be in her general vicinity?

  3. #3
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    The D (Detroit)
    Posts
    847
    Gender
    Male
    I highly doubt she would supervise me. I have more experience than her and actually supervised her for one case she did at her old job. I would guess we would be on pretty equal levels with me probably slightly ahead of her without being her supervisor.

  4. #4
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    954
    Gender
    Female
    Please don't make a career judgment based on what some woman may or may not do. The move seems like a good one. Take it and stop thinking about things that don't matter. She doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,654
    Then what's the issue? Is the company so small that you'd be forced to work one on one with her every day?

    If not and you'd only be running into her occasionally I don't see the issue.

    I work every day with a woman who tried to get me fired. I just do my job and don't worry about her.

  6. #6
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    440
    Will you be working in the same department? What is the likelihood of you seeing her and having to interact in a professional capacity every day? Will you be able to treat her professionally at all times? Will you be able to cope with all of that?


    That should give you the answer you are looking for.

  7. #7
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    The D (Detroit)
    Posts
    847
    Gender
    Male
    We would definitely be working in a situation where I'd have to see her but I'm really unsure if I'd have to work with her. Just unsure if I want to go from a situation where I enjoy who I work with to one going in the only person I know there is someone I really despise.

    But I think I could probably put my head down and do my work.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,577
    Originally Posted by TheD87
    We would definitely be working in a situation where I'd have to see her but I'm really unsure if I'd have to work with her. Just unsure if I want to go from a situation where I enjoy who I work with to one going in the only person I know there is someone I really despise.

    But I think I could probably put my head down and do my work.
    I would not let her presence stop you from taking this job.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    2,140
    You need the "extra" $20K, who cares about this woman.

    If she effs her way to the top it has nothing to do with you. Just don't get in the line up.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,665
    Be professional, and accept professional career advancements. No need to bring emotions about a relationship that isn't yours into work. It's not like you're helping her move into her new pad, and getting takeout together.

    Boost yourself - don't reject success because your buddy married a cheater. Just be glad you dodged a bullet.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •